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Hi All,
I am seeking some advice from outside perspectives as I’ve discussed this scenario with a few people that I am close to and have received very mixed reviews. This is a rather long post, so I do apologise!
I was with my ex for just shy of 4 years, we recently broke up pretty out the blue and he told me he didnt love me anymore, within a month and a half he has already flown half way across the world and made a new woman his girlfriend - gutting for me, however I have gone out and spent loads of time with my friends/family ect and I’m finally feeling positive again.
A few weeks back, myself and a friend went to a bar to watch the football. We wasn’t supposed to go to this bar and i haven’t been there for many years, had a great time went outside to smoke and a huge brawl kicked off, I got up to see what was going on and a man grabbed me from behind and begged me to not get involved and ushered me and my friend to sit with him. We was chatting for a little while and I felt an instant connection to him. He told me he had just brought a house and he asked me for my surname, we laughed about it. My friend insisted we left so we could get a drink somewhere else, so we did but I literally kicked myself all the way to the next bar and even went so far as to getting in contact with another friend who was also at the bar to try and get his number for me as I failed to do so, which didn’t happen as they had already left.
Within 20 minutes this guy had found me on Facebook and had messaged me saying that it was “Nice to meet you x” my whole being lit up and I was on a high until I accepted his friend request and he appeared to be engaged to someone. I replied and stated that I didn’t want to cause him aggravation and would be best if I deleted him. He insisted we could be just friends. A week later he asked if I wanted to meet up and watch the football with him, I agreed and we ended up having cocktails (he wouldn’t let me pay for a thing) and playing some golf which was a lot of fun. He explained to me that all is not what it seemed on Facebook and that he had brought a house and because he was engaged he placed her name on the mortgage and now she will not leave. He explained they sleep in separate beds and that they share different parts of the house and that it is well and truly over. He kissed me at the end of the night and got me home safely - immense butterflies.
A few days went by and he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me. I was going away for a few weeks and during my time away he asked if he could come to where I was so we could have dinner and I accepted.
We went to a lovely place, and everything was perfect. We get on so so well and laugh constantly with no awkwardness at all, like being with a best friend whilst still finding out new stuff about one another. I started to tell him that I was finding the situation he was in a little hard to deal with and felt that it wasn’t right to continue on this level until he was no longer living with her and he agreed. He apologised for making me feel uncomfortable and insisted that once his current situation was dealt with, that he would come and find me, wherever I am in the world. He told me that when he looked at me across the table at dinner, I completely blew him away and that he has never in his life felt this way about anyone, especially within this time frame and that he felt something with me from the minute we met, which is the same for me too. He said that fate definitely brought us together and that because this has happened it has solidified his current situation as a complete write off. We had a really fantastic time and I was very flattered he had made such a big effort to travel and book himself a hotel (around 2 hours away from his work/home) during the middle of the week!
the next few days went by and we was texting here and there, then he read a message (about football) from me and didn’t reply. I didn’t hear from him for 4 days and put the blue he asked me if I was ok. I explained that I thought I’d done something wrong or he just wasn’t interested anymore and he said that was definitely not the case. He explained that on reflection of what was spoken about at dinner, he was upset at the fact that he was inadvertently placing me in a situation that I didn’t want to be in and assured me that things should be perfect and right now they can’t be. He explained very openly that he wants to see where things go but that he just needs abit of time so that he can sort out selling his house so that he can start a fresh and so that i didn’t feel uncomfortable. we have had some general chit chat since then but I can’t help but feel like I’m really starting to fall for him extremely quickly and I feel like he is too.
a few things that I am worried about:
1, when we met he told me he had just brought a house but failed to mention that his ex fiancé still lives there (effectively brought a house WITH her)
2, They went on holiday only around 3 months ago (could have already been booked/paid for so didn’t want to waste the money, I don’t know?)
3, They aren’t just enagaged, through my snooping it looks like they have actually booked a place and have a date - also he shared a photo of their venue maybe 3/4 months ago stating that he “knew we’d picked a wicked place”
4, I know Facebook isn’t everything but they are still as “engaged” to each other although both of them have now changed their profile picture to pictures of them alone
I believe what he is telling me that it is over between them and he has stated that he “doesn’t want me to think that she is sat at home crying and in love with me and upset as it’s very much the opposite” but I feel as though stuff has happened pretty recently to make me think otherwise?! Am I being crazy and over thinking things? Should I relax abit and not see him? I really don’t know what to do as my heart and the connection I feel we have is so electric. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I don’t know what’s going on in my mind! Any advice would be truly appreciated!
I know it was a long one, if you’re still here, THANKS A BUNCH!
I am seeking some advice from outside perspectives as I’ve discussed this scenario with a few people that I am close to and have received very mixed reviews. This is a rather long post, so I do apologise!
I was with my ex for just shy of 4 years, we recently broke up pretty out the blue and he told me he didnt love me anymore, within a month and a half he has already flown half way across the world and made a new woman his girlfriend - gutting for me, however I have gone out and spent loads of time with my friends/family ect and I’m finally feeling positive again.
A few weeks back, myself and a friend went to a bar to watch the football. We wasn’t supposed to go to this bar and i haven’t been there for many years, had a great time went outside to smoke and a huge brawl kicked off, I got up to see what was going on and a man grabbed me from behind and begged me to not get involved and ushered me and my friend to sit with him. We was chatting for a little while and I felt an instant connection to him. He told me he had just brought a house and he asked me for my surname, we laughed about it. My friend insisted we left so we could get a drink somewhere else, so we did but I literally kicked myself all the way to the next bar and even went so far as to getting in contact with another friend who was also at the bar to try and get his number for me as I failed to do so, which didn’t happen as they had already left.
Within 20 minutes this guy had found me on Facebook and had messaged me saying that it was “Nice to meet you x” my whole being lit up and I was on a high until I accepted his friend request and he appeared to be engaged to someone. I replied and stated that I didn’t want to cause him aggravation and would be best if I deleted him. He insisted we could be just friends. A week later he asked if I wanted to meet up and watch the football with him, I agreed and we ended up having cocktails (he wouldn’t let me pay for a thing) and playing some golf which was a lot of fun. He explained to me that all is not what it seemed on Facebook and that he had brought a house and because he was engaged he placed her name on the mortgage and now she will not leave. He explained they sleep in separate beds and that they share different parts of the house and that it is well and truly over. He kissed me at the end of the night and got me home safely - immense butterflies.
A few days went by and he told me he couldn’t stop thinking about me. I was going away for a few weeks and during my time away he asked if he could come to where I was so we could have dinner and I accepted.
We went to a lovely place, and everything was perfect. We get on so so well and laugh constantly with no awkwardness at all, like being with a best friend whilst still finding out new stuff about one another. I started to tell him that I was finding the situation he was in a little hard to deal with and felt that it wasn’t right to continue on this level until he was no longer living with her and he agreed. He apologised for making me feel uncomfortable and insisted that once his current situation was dealt with, that he would come and find me, wherever I am in the world. He told me that when he looked at me across the table at dinner, I completely blew him away and that he has never in his life felt this way about anyone, especially within this time frame and that he felt something with me from the minute we met, which is the same for me too. He said that fate definitely brought us together and that because this has happened it has solidified his current situation as a complete write off. We had a really fantastic time and I was very flattered he had made such a big effort to travel and book himself a hotel (around 2 hours away from his work/home) during the middle of the week!
the next few days went by and we was texting here and there, then he read a message (about football) from me and didn’t reply. I didn’t hear from him for 4 days and put the blue he asked me if I was ok. I explained that I thought I’d done something wrong or he just wasn’t interested anymore and he said that was definitely not the case. He explained that on reflection of what was spoken about at dinner, he was upset at the fact that he was inadvertently placing me in a situation that I didn’t want to be in and assured me that things should be perfect and right now they can’t be. He explained very openly that he wants to see where things go but that he just needs abit of time so that he can sort out selling his house so that he can start a fresh and so that i didn’t feel uncomfortable. we have had some general chit chat since then but I can’t help but feel like I’m really starting to fall for him extremely quickly and I feel like he is too.
a few things that I am worried about:
1, when we met he told me he had just brought a house but failed to mention that his ex fiancé still lives there (effectively brought a house WITH her)
2, They went on holiday only around 3 months ago (could have already been booked/paid for so didn’t want to waste the money, I don’t know?)
3, They aren’t just enagaged, through my snooping it looks like they have actually booked a place and have a date - also he shared a photo of their venue maybe 3/4 months ago stating that he “knew we’d picked a wicked place”
4, I know Facebook isn’t everything but they are still as “engaged” to each other although both of them have now changed their profile picture to pictures of them alone
I believe what he is telling me that it is over between them and he has stated that he “doesn’t want me to think that she is sat at home crying and in love with me and upset as it’s very much the opposite” but I feel as though stuff has happened pretty recently to make me think otherwise?! Am I being crazy and over thinking things? Should I relax abit and not see him? I really don’t know what to do as my heart and the connection I feel we have is so electric. Has anyone been in a similar situation? I don’t know what’s going on in my mind! Any advice would be truly appreciated!
I know it was a long one, if you’re still here, THANKS A BUNCH!
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