Getting Women's Hints And Being "Friends First"

[John]

Here's a situation I'd like to tell you about: there is a woman who I met recently. We talked for a few minutes and exchanged email addresses with each other.

It was all casual and I didn't even suggest that I'm interested in her romantically. I'd like to get to know her start on a friendship level and see what can happen.

So I emailed her the following day and told her that if she'd like to meet me sometime for friendly conversation I spend a couple of hours during the afternoon at a social club.

She emailed me back a few HOURS later and said that she'd like to meet me there because it turns out that she goes to that same place everyday, too (although we had never seen each other there before).

She asked me what she should do. Then she asked me for my phone number and told me again that she goes to that place almost every day when she's not working.

So what I'm wondering is, is this lady asking for my phone number because she wants to know if I have a phone?

She already knows I have email because we exchanged addresses after that first time we met only a day earlier. What do you think could be a reason why she's asking me for my phone number?

I'm wanting to start off as a friend to this woman and see what happens.

[Dennis]

Hello John,

First of all, I could give this advice to any of millions of desperate men everywhere who would love to have a "problem" like yours. 99% of these men would automatically understand her response to you as a clear sign of interest. And they'd be correct.

The natural progression from exchanging email addresses is to take things to the telephone. The natural progression from there is to meet in person.

This particular woman's interest level in you is high enough that she is sending you such blatant hints of her desire for BOTH that only a crowbar upside one's head might be more obvious.

Note I said "might".

So let's first go over what you did that was GREAT:


1) Nutting up and ask for her contact info. You're ahead of most men there already. Great job.

2) Emailing a woman you sense has interest in you the following day. I believe artificial "waiting periods" represent the kind of "game playing" people tend to dislike intensely.

3) Calling her to action. (i.e. suggesting she meet you at the social club)


Here's where you'll do better in the future:


1) Understand that email --> phone --> meeting is the natural progression. You skipped a step and she's bringing you back around, understandably.

2) Any positive response from a woman is just that...it's GOOD. She is asking for your phone number because she wants to MOVE THINGS FORWARD, and...

3) ...women LOVE LOVE LOVE men who LEAD. She is asking you "what she should do" because she wants YOU to be the man here and LEAD. This is a "Chick Whispering" basic. Women want you to wear the pants, and will hint at what they want you to ASK them rather than asking first. See how that works? And don't you just LOVE LOVE LOVE women who look at you adoringly when you are their superhero who knows how to be a LEADER? Of course you do.


That all brings me to the final, and perhaps most overarching thought. You mentioned being "friends first" with this woman.

You do realize that this is almost always a MYTH unless you are clearly in the driver's seat of leadership, right?

By this I mean that women typically find it very, very hard to move a man from "friend" to "lover" in their mind.

Either you are causing her erotic synapses to fire up like VG race fuel or you are doomed to being a tea party guest.

And hey, Earl Grey smells nice but there's just something about spent 2-stroke race gas fumes that satisfies.

I hope you haven't been brainwashed by the same cult that had me duped me back in the day. You know the one. They preach that "all male behavior is bad behavior" and that "showing romantic interest in a woman is offensive to them."

Unless you yourself are unconvinced that you are ready to blow up the chemistry lab with this chick, you need to get in front of her and FLIRT, my man. She'll LOVE LOVE LOVE you for it.

[John]

Great advice Dennis, Thank you!