bf friends w/ girl he used to get nudes & obsessed over him should I be uncomfortable

[a.girl.who.loves.dogs]

hey everyone,

I just wanted to probe your guys' minds about a particular issue of mine I am having with my current boyfriend...

so the issue goes like this: my boyfriend has this friend of his that prior to our relationship he would receive a fair amount of nudes from (that he would accept happily and well… ya know), and would basically drool and obsess every waking minute over his existence in her life.
How recent were those nudes sent compared to when were a thing you may wonder? March of that year and we started dating September of that year…
How exactly did she basically profess her obsession/love for him you may wonder? Her social media accounts would never fall short of calling him “bestie/best friend” with heart emojis at the very least and sometimes the explicit phrase, “I love you” at times… all of these posts which he acknowledged and knew full well about…
He initially told me that he received nudes from her but that was all I initially heard of her. Later on after I did some of my own digging, I saw that it was far more than just nudes that were exchanged and that they would talk endlessly, sometimes quite late till the time he’d go to sleep, blah, blah, blah and that is when I found the numerous posts of him on her Facebook. Upon asking him about her, he would state that they weren’t much of anything (and acted like their friendship didn’t mean much to him), yet when I confronted him about the many posts she tagged him in, he acted shocked (even though he liked just about every one that mentioned him). This was my red flag and when I became uncomfortable about them ever hanging out… (like he pretended to be unaware of the posts, even though he knew about them)
I expressed this concern of mine to his, and he felt that there was no worry with their friendship (that he claimed wasn’t even that much) and that I didn’t have a thing to worry with.

My dilemma is this, whilst she may not be sending him nudes anymore since the relationship began and he told her not to send such content, I am still nonetheless uncomfortable at the idea of them hanging out when I consider the idea that he got off to photos of her…

Thoughts?

[Bella]

First, do they hang out in real life or just on Facebook? If they hang out in real life, you should be uncomfortable with that. However, if they just hang out on Facebook, you shouldn't worry about it too much

[Caleb]

If you aren't comfortable with him hanging out with the other woman, then talk to him about it. Let him know if you aren't comfortable with what he has with her, and he might lose you if he continues to speak with her.

[a.girl.who.loves.dogs]

First, do they hang out in real life or just on Facebook? If they hang out in real life, you should be uncomfortable with that. However, if they just hang out on Facebook, you shouldn't worry about it too much

yes, they have once... behind my back.... that part of the story goes like this:
I was on vacation a distance away from him and we were in a bit of an argument, I come home with things seeming to have calmed down all for me to tell him just the day before he came to pick me up he ran to her house to give a hoodie that he "promised her" of his back in high school and that they spoke a bit and caught up in his car... this pissed me off because he only told me after the fact, whilst I was away, and we were in an argument.... beyond dropping his hoodie off at her place though, they didn't do anything else that I know of....

[a.girl.who.loves.dogs]

If you aren't comfortable with him hanging out with the other woman, then talk to him about it. Let him know if you aren't comfortable with what he has with her, and he might lose you if he continues to speak with her.

I expressed my concerns and discomfort to him, and all he had to say was, "you should trust me, why are you in a relationship if you don't trust me? don't you know I wouldn't do anything now" and then goes on to say, "you can't control who I hang out with and my friends are"....

[a.girl.who.loves.dogs]

**so in new development, after he removed her from his Facebook because I expressed my discomfort, she then friends him and he happily accepts it, what?**

[a.girl.who.loves.dogs]

So guys, not like it matters much anymore at this point, but thought I might as well inform you with the most recent and last development on this situation.

we broke up.
While I am sad I wasted a year and three months with such a manipulative guy who treated our relationship like a meer game, I learned a lot of what not to do from this first, serious relationship of mine and feel so relieved I was able to cut things off before it was prolonged.