How do I handle my feelings for a long term crush?

[NytramD]

Me and my crush (who had been interested in me also for a long time) have known each other for around 2 and a half years now. We first got talking on the bus after work, and over the years have enjoyed each others company outside of work (climbing, eating out at restaurants etc). I have always been hesitant to fully make a move despite her making it clear enough that she likes me without actually saying so. We used to speak nearly everyday via WhatsApp (usually about nothing in particular). We fell out in June this year, but I approached her to resolve the fallout in August, both agreeing it was silly and to move on. Something didn't quite seem right when i texted her following this reconciliation. after talking on WhatsApp that day, i proposed that i take her out for dinner, she responded a few hours later stating that it sounded like a lovely idea, but that i'd have to be more patient with her this time, but that after a few weeks we would "defo do something for sure". I was initially confused by the "you'll have to be patient with me this time" and told her that I had never been impatient with her before, to which she confirmed that I was right. Anyway, after 3 days of texting each other she gradually managed to tell me she had been seeing someone, this after I gradually managed to pry this from her after her hinting that something was going on. She told me that she had been seeing someone for 3 weeks. I told her that, in that case, us going out wasn't a good idea as it wouldn't be fair on her. She agreed and stated that it wouldn't be fair on him either. i told her that I was happy as long as she was, and we agreed to be stay friends. This seemed like the right thing to say, but the reality was I had just had my heartbroken. We have since spoken and had lunch together several times but only at work. Texting has been kept to a minimal and I usually do not approach her first now. I am finding it very difficult to try to be friends without feelings resurfacing and do not feel that I can properly move on. We work together (1 floor apart) and I cannot avoid her consistently, plus she will approach me now and again to have lunch. She has also never mentioned a thing about her boyfriend to me in person or over text since telling me that she was seeing someone. When I ask what she's been up to, he never enters the conversation, not a single thing about him. I am not sure how to move on from this. Is it time to completely distance myself from her?

[bunnyhabit]

you had over two years without getting romantic. surprised she hung on that long without a man. surely you can not fault her for moving on to a guy not unafraid to commit. you should consider her an ex possibility. given the circumstances best option is to break contact if you cannot handle she is a normal person that craves commitment and faithfulness to the her lovers

[NytramD]

I think that's fair, as daunting as it sounds. I've tried to limit my contact towards her but we work together, plus she has a habit of asking me to lunch at work now and again, but I guess it's my responsibility at that point to say no without being rude.

Thanks for your response Bunny!

[bunnyhabit]

most healthy avenue for you is to minimize contact with her. last thing you need right now is her boyfriend to come to your work place with a beef that you are stalking his girlfriend. she may be playing a jealousy game with boyfriend and you to get what she wants. I tend to think her boyfriend is a bad guy that is very controlling. that is reason she avoids bring him up with you.

[Ella]

If you still have feelings for her and would want her to be your girlfriend, it's best not to be friends with her. Distancing yourself from her will make her realize your worth and definitely want you back.