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I had a topic about this girl before. Now I dunno what is the next step I should take.i have invited her for launch in my last day there.when I asked her she said 1 hour which is the break time. She said 1 hour is too much.but she came. I didn't have any attention to talk about it. But she spoke about it I will try to not forget anything.I the start she seemed to be nervous and pressured covering her eyes with her hands to not look at me and squeezing her head. So I told her I don't want you to feel pressures. I want you to feel free say whatever you feel without any judgements so I told her I know that you though I'm rushing thing up but I wasn't. I just wanted u to know how I feel and what u want. She said " u r right". Then she started to relax and feel comfy.so She told me she has no feelings to me. So I had to confront her with her behavior. That she looks at me with the corner of her eyes. She comes and stands where I can see her. She cheers up when I'm around. She gets nervous when I'm around. So she smiled and said no then she said she has a promise with her family to not be in any relationship until 2020. So it's just wrong time. And then she looked down and said maybe in the future. We dunno what the future has but I don't want u to wait until 2020 maybe it will take longer and I don't want to hurt ur feelings. So I told her I won't cuz u never promise me anything. Then she said let's just be friends then she said that's why she u come to me in a romantic way I go the other way bcuz I don't want to be in a relationship now and I cant . I told her I can be the friend u want. But u know my feelings so at the end I might be the creepy guy u don't want to be around. Or u will have the same feelings I have for you. She said let's see but now only friends bcuz of my commitment to my family and u can find a better woman who fits u. I told her the problem is that u r the woman I'm looking for. U hold on ur commitments and u ve a principles. Its u. Then she held her phone and showed me her family pic. She said we are a very big family. This is my step dad and my step mother and my mother and my father then she said this is my sister she is in a relationship for 10 years but everytime her man ask her to marry she says no I told her would u do the same. She said no. I know we get old we will need to settle down. Then she asked me if Iam mad. So I said why would I be. She said just tell me yes or no. I said no I'm not mad bcuz there is no reason to be mad then after a half hour we left the restaurant and while we are walking I felt she is kinda happy. She asked me again with a huge smile. Are u mad so I answered her with a smile do u care. She had this light laugh and said no I don't. So we both laughed. Then I asked her if she read the letters I sent her. Bcuz I sent her a handwritten letters. She said not yet. I forget everytime and to be honest with u. I don't want to. Then I told her I love you the way u r so never get changed. And I started to tell her how do I really feel. Then she said it's easy to say that. I told her no it's not I just have to say it in case we won't meet again. And when I was telling her how do I feel she was looking at the ground smiley and blashy. And she seemed to be very comfy and happy " I might be wrong" then we chatted for a while then we went to our work place and before we get there she asked me again if Iam mad I said no then she asked me if I am sure. I said yes I am. Then I told her don't forget to say goodbye b4 u go. Bcuz he work time finishes before mine. And when a customer comes to my section she used to avoid me but this time she spoke to me about things she dunno about the item she sales. B4 she go she came and shake my hand and I told her may we meet again.. She said 1 hours is too much but she gave me 1 hour and 45 mins and I feel if I woukd have kept her for longer she wouldn't say no. But that's it. To be honest guys I dunno. If her Behavior about looking at me and standing where I can see her and all of that was just illusions or not. Bcuz she said she has no feelings for me. And I dunno what to do. Bcuz whenever I sent her an SMS she never replay and she doesn't read my whatsapp msgs from Dec 27 until today she didn't read it. I decided to not text her for now. Maybe after a couple of weeks and then maybe I will ask her for launch as friends. I just miss her so much 2 days I haven't seen her and it feels like 2 years. Time is moving so slow with me
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