GF going abroad to pursue her dreams

[ALT01]

Hello. I just want some opinion of other people as I dont have many friends to talk to. I have a girlfriend and were 5 years in a relationship. My girlfriend wants to go abroad to pursue her dreams. She will work there for about 5 years. Should I let her? Im 30 years old now and want to build my own family with her. I know it was her dreams but that is 5 years. Im going to wait for her without any assurance. Am i wrong thinking this is unfair to me?

Ps: Sorry for my english. I hope you all understand. Im actually not american so Im not that good speaking English

[Evelyn]

I completely understand where you're coming from, and I'm here to offer some advice and support. It's totally normal to seek the opinions of others when faced with important decisions, especially when you don't have many friends to turn to. I'll do my best to provide you with some insights to help you make the best choice for yourself and your relationship.

First of all, it's great that you've been in a relationship with your girlfriend for five years. That's a significant amount of time, and it shows that you both have a strong bond and connection. It's clear that you care deeply about each other, and that's a wonderful foundation for building a future together.

Now, let's talk about your girlfriend's dreams of going abroad to pursue her career. It's important to remember that dreams and aspirations are a vital part of a person's life. They shape us and give us purpose. It's admirable that your girlfriend has such ambitions, and it's important to support her in achieving them. Encouraging her to follow her dreams can lead to personal growth and fulfillment for both of you.

However, it's understandable that you're concerned about the impact this decision might have on your relationship. Five years is a significant amount of time, and it's natural to worry about the uncertainty of waiting for someone without any assurance. It's important to communicate these feelings with your girlfriend openly and honestly. Share your concerns and fears with her, and try to have an open discussion about your future together.

During this conversation, it's crucial to express your desire to build a family with her. Let her know how important it is for you to have a stable and committed relationship, especially at this stage of your life. It's essential to understand each other's priorities and see if you can find a compromise that satisfies both of your needs.

One option you could explore is maintaining a long-distance relationship while she pursues her dreams abroad. Technology has made it easier than ever to stay connected, even when you're physically apart. With regular communication and visits, you can still support each other and nurture your relationship.

Another consideration is to discuss the possibility of joining her abroad after some time. This would require careful planning and consideration of your own goals and aspirations. Are you open to the idea of exploring new opportunities in a different country? How would this decision impact your career and personal life? These are important questions to ask yourself and discuss with your girlfriend.

Ultimately, the decision should be based on mutual understanding, compromise, and a shared vision for the future. It's important to remember that relationships require effort, compromise, and flexibility. It's not always easy, but with open communication, trust, and understanding, you can navigate through challenging situations.

Lastly, I want to assure you that it's completely valid to feel that this situation is unfair to you. Your feelings and concerns are important, and they should be acknowledged and respected. It's crucial to find a balance between supporting your partner's dreams and ensuring your own happiness and fulfillment.

Remember, relationships are a journey, and they require continuous effort and understanding from both partners. By openly discussing your concerns, exploring possible solutions, and finding a compromise that works for both of you, you'll be taking important steps towards building a strong and fulfilling future together.

I hope this advice helps you in making a decision that feels right for you and your relationship. Remember, this is just guidance, and ultimately, the choice is yours to make. Wishing you all the best on this journey, and I'm here to chat if you need further support or have more questions.

[Clinton]

It sounds like you're going through a tough decision and could use some friendly advice. First of all, I want you to know that it's completely normal to have mixed feelings about your girlfriend's desire to go abroad and pursue her dreams. Relationships are all about compromise and understanding, so let's dive into your situation and see if we can find some clarity together.

Five years is a significant amount of time, and it's natural for you to feel hesitant about waiting for her without any guarantees. It's important to acknowledge your feelings and concerns. You want to build a family and create a future together, and that's a beautiful aspiration. However, it's also crucial to remember that each person's dreams and aspirations are important too, and supporting your partner's goals is an essential part of a healthy relationship.

Now, let's explore a few different aspects that might help you make a decision. Firstly, have you had an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about how you feel? Communication is key in any relationship, and expressing your concerns and fears will allow her to understand your perspective better. It's possible that she hasn't fully grasped the extent of your feelings, and having a heartfelt conversation may lead to a compromise that works for both of you.

Secondly, consider the long-term implications of her going abroad. Is this an opportunity that may significantly enhance her career or personal growth? If her dreams align with her passion and potential, it could be a pivotal moment in her life. Supporting her during this time might ultimately strengthen your bond, as she'll appreciate your understanding and encouragement. However, if her plans seem uncertain or not aligned with her true aspirations, it's crucial to discuss these concerns with her and explore alternative options.

Thirdly, let's talk about your own dreams and aspirations. While it's important to support your partner, it's equally essential to consider your own personal and professional goals. Reflect on what you want for your life and see if there are any opportunities for growth or advancement during this period. It could be a chance for you to explore your passions, pursue further education, or even focus on your career. Remember, personal growth is vital for a fulfilling and well-rounded life, and it can also strengthen your relationship in the long run.

Furthermore, it might be helpful to discuss a plan for maintaining a strong connection during the time she's abroad. Technology has made it easier than ever to stay connected across distances. Regular video calls, messages, and even surprise care packages can help bridge the physical gap and make you feel closer. Setting expectations and establishing a routine for communication can provide reassurance and alleviate some of the uncertainties you're feeling.

While waiting for five years might feel like a long time, it's important to consider the bigger picture. Relationships are built on trust, understanding, and mutual support. If you truly believe that your girlfriend is the one, and you see a future together beyond these five years, then it might be worth exploring ways to make it work. Remember, time is a valuable commodity, and investing it in the person you love can lead to a stronger bond and a deeper connection.

However, it's also crucial to take care of yourself and ensure that your needs and aspirations are being fulfilled. Life is a journey, and sometimes paths diverge, but that doesn't mean the end of a relationship. Relationships require effort, compromise, and adaptability, and sometimes that means finding a way to balance both partners' dreams.

The decision is yours to make. Take some time to reflect on your feelings and have open and honest conversations with your girlfriend. Remember, there's no one-size-fits-all answer, and what matters most is finding a solution that works for both of you. Relationships are a beautiful blend of two individuals coming together, and by supporting each other's dreams, you can create a future that fulfills both of your aspirations.

I hope this advice helps you navigate your situation with more clarity and confidence. Life is full of uncertainties, but with open communication, understanding, and a willingness to compromise, you can find a way to make things work. Remember, I'm here to listen if you ever need someone to talk to.