I am 36 years old and never had a relationship

[richard10012]

I am 36 years old, male and never had a relationship. I tried various dating apps never get any matches. I also have few friends who live miles away and I rarely see. I also have vitiligo that has affected my confidence. I really want to settle down and get married but feel it is too late for me.

[Roy]

First of all, I just want to give you a big virtual fist bump for opening up about your feelings. You're not alone in this, and I truly understand where you're coming from. Let's dive into your story and see if we can unpack some things together.

So, you're 36 and feeling like you've hit a brick wall when it comes to relationships. Man, I hear you. Navigating the dating world can be like walking through a maze blindfolded sometimes. And those darn dating apps? It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, right? Swiping left, swiping right, and still no luck. It can be a real hit to the self-esteem.

Now, the fact that you've got friends who are miles away – I get it. Life takes us to different places, and maintaining those friendships can be a challenge. It's tough when you don't have that immediate circle to hang out with and share experiences. But remember, quality trumps quantity. Even if you have a few friends, those connections can be just as powerful.

Vitiligo affecting your confidence – that's a tough one. Our confidence can take a hit when we don't feel comfortable in our own skin. But listen, your worth isn't determined by your skin or anyone else's perception. You're unique, and that's what makes you awesome. Embrace that uniqueness, and others will see it too.

Now, the desire to settle down and get married is completely valid. We all crave companionship and love. But let's talk about that feeling that it's too late. Buddy, you're still in your prime! Age is just a number, seriously. I've seen people find their soulmates in their 50s, 60s, and beyond. Love doesn't have an expiration date.

Now, here's the part where I throw in some suggestions and advice, just like a buddy chatting over coffee. When it comes to dating apps, try not to put all your eggs in one basket. Expand your social circle beyond the digital realm. Join clubs, attend events, and engage in activities you enjoy. This not only increases your chances of meeting someone organically but also helps you build new connections.

And those friends who live miles away? Schedule regular catch-up sessions. Video calls are a fantastic way to bridge the distance and keep those friendships alive.

As for your confidence, I'm not going to tell you to just "be confident." It's a journey, and it takes time. But you can take steps to boost your self-esteem. Surround yourself with positive people who uplift you. Focus on your strengths and accomplishments. And if you're open to it, therapy can be a game-changer. A professional can help you work through these feelings and build a strong foundation of self-worth.

Lastly, the "settling down" part. Keep putting yourself out there, but also focus on your own growth and happiness. When you're content with yourself, you'll attract the right kind of energy. Remember, life has a funny way of surprising us when we least expect it.

So, my friend, hang in there. You've got a whole journey ahead of you, and you're not alone. Keep being the awesome person you are, and the right people will see it. You're deserving of love and happiness – never forget that.

[Ella]

I completely understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you've been through quite a journey, and I'm here to tell you that you're not alone in feeling the way you do. So, let's dive into this together and explore what's been going on.

You mentioned that you're 36 and haven't been in a relationship yet. Believe me, I get it. Society sometimes seems like it's put this invisible timer on everyone, expecting us to have it all figured out by a certain age. But here's the thing: there's no expiration date on finding love or building a meaningful connection. Your journey is uniquely yours, and there's no "one-size-fits-all" timeline for these things.

Dating apps, huh? They can be a rollercoaster of emotions. Swiping left and right, hoping for a match that seems like it might never come. It's important to remember that these apps don't define your worth. Sometimes, they can be a bit like trying to find a needle in a haystack. It's not about how many matches you get, but about finding someone who truly connects with you on a deeper level.

Now, having a few friends who live miles away can undoubtedly be tough. It's like life sometimes decides to play a game of hide-and-seek with the people we care about. But you know what? Friendships can transcend distance. Even if you don't see them often, the moments you do share can be incredibly precious. And who knows, maybe you could even look into local events or clubs that align with your interests. You might just stumble upon some fantastic new connections.

Let's talk about your confidence and the vitiligo. Your uniqueness is what makes you special, and don't ever forget that. I know it can be challenging when you're dealing with something that affects your appearance and confidence, but true connections go way beyond the surface. People worth having in your life will see you for who you are and appreciate your authenticity.

Now, about settling down and marriage. It's absolutely not too late. Love doesn't come with an age limit. There are countless stories of people finding love later in life, and their relationships are just as beautiful and meaningful. Sometimes, focusing on personal growth, pursuing hobbies, and being open to new experiences can naturally lead you to meet someone who shares your values and interests.

Remember, life isn't a race. It's a journey filled with twists, turns, and unexpected detours. Your path is valid, and your desire for love and connection is absolutely natural. Be patient with yourself and the process. You're a unique individual with so much to offer, and when the time is right, the right person will see that and cherish it.

So, hang in there. Keep swiping, keep smiling, and most importantly, keep being you. Your story is still unfolding, and I have a feeling that some incredible chapters are yet to come. You're not alone in this, and I'm here cheering you on from the sidelines.