Am I delusional or she is into me?

[Amaretti]

Hello everyone, I’m new here and I want to share with you my situation with a girl I like. Sorry for the long post...

So, I’ve known this girl for a year and we are going at the same university and we have been in the same group of people at classes. As the time passed by I started developing feelings for her and started being more flirtatious towards her couple of months ago. I was giving her compliments through Instagram, when she posts some of her pictures, teasing her about some stuff from Uni etc.

She always seemed to respond positively and usually we continue texting about some other stuff, often about studying etc. Usually, I am the one who initiates conversation through texts (as it was summer break, we only texted) and she pretty much responds every time in less than 30 minutes, only couple of times it took her more than 5 hours.

Whenever we talk in person, she keeps eye contact longer than usual, she smiles whenever she sees me (smiling with her eyes), sometimes gives me hug. She stands pretty close to me when talking and when in classes, she sometimes comes close to me also. When I see her, I feel electricity throughout my body, can’t explain it, like I feel some kind of energy when we are together…

Sometimes she acts quite different, like avoiding eye contact at all cost, being quiet around me etc.

When we text, she often laughs, uses laughing smileys, she sometimes calls me when she need some help, like when she asked me to help her to get new phone.

So, after all the thinking, I decided to ask her out and go grab a drink. She said “Yes, absolutelyyy, but first I have to finish my studying”, so I told her to let me know when she is free so the ball was in her court now. And I thought that it might be some kind of indirect rejection because I think that if she really liked me she would find at least an hour or two to grab a drink. And I started to cool down on her.

But, a week later, she texted me telling me some info about her exam that she never just tells me like that, it’s usually that I ask her about it. And I decided not to bother her and let her study and didn’t text her for more than a week.

Then I asked her how studying is going and she was pretty enthusiastic in her replies. Then again she initiated two days later telling me how hard it is to study that subject etc and it gave me again some kind of hope as if I think about it, why would she think about me and text me about these kind of stuff if she didn’t like me? And what surprised me also is that she knew one info about me that

I didn’t tell her and I told only to our mutual friend which is one of her best girl friends. So, I guess they’ve been talking about me.

There are lots of stuff I didn’t mention, but I hope this gives you some insight. So what do you think, could she be into me or she is just being friendly? I’m probably waaaay overthinking this but those damn butterflies…

[Richard]

Thanks for sharing your story, and don't worry about the length – it's essential to get all the details out. It's clear that you're caught in a whirlwind of emotions, and those butterflies in your stomach are a good sign that you care deeply about this girl.

From what you've described, it does seem like there's some interest on her side. She responds promptly to your texts, initiates conversations about her life and studies, and even asked for your help with getting a new phone. These are all positive signs that she values your connection.

The fact that she maintains prolonged eye contact, smiles when she sees you, and sometimes gives you hugs is also promising. These physical cues often indicate comfort and attraction. But remember, everyone has their moments of shyness or withdrawal, so don't overanalyze those instances when she avoids eye contact or becomes quiet.

Now, about her response to your invitation for a drink – don't jump to conclusions too quickly. It's very common for people to have busy schedules, especially when it comes to exams and studying. When she said she had to finish studying first, it could genuinely be the case. In fact, her subsequent enthusiasm and texts about her exams suggest that she still values your connection.

The fact that she knew some information about you that you hadn't shared directly with her may indeed indicate that she's been talking to her best friend, who is also your mutual friend. This doesn't necessarily mean she's into you, but it does show that you're on her mind.

So, here's what you can do. Be patient and give her space when she's busy studying, as academics can be quite demanding. Continue being supportive and showing genuine interest in her life and her studies. Keep the communication going and try to build a deeper connection by asking her about her interests, hobbies, and experiences beyond university.

When the opportunity arises, you can revisit the idea of grabbing a drink or spending some quality time together. If she's still enthusiastic about it, that's a strong indicator that she's interested in you as more than just a friend. Remember that relationships take time to develop, and it's okay to enjoy the journey of getting to know each other better.

In the end, you're right, those butterflies can be overwhelming, but they're also a sign of excitement and potential. Keep being your authentic self, stay patient, and let things unfold naturally. Your intuition and sensitivity to her signals are your best guides in this situation. Best of luck!

[Kate]

It's completely natural to be in a situation like this and have those butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. First of all, kudos to you for being brave enough to ask her out – that takes courage! Now, let's break down what might be going on with this girl you like.

From what you've described, there are some clear signs that she might be into you. The fact that she responds to your texts promptly and engages in conversations with you, even initiating contact herself, is a positive sign. Her use of laughing emojis and the fact that she calls you when she needs help are all indications that she enjoys your company.

The in-person interactions are equally encouraging. The extended eye contact, the smiles (especially those genuine eye-smiles), the close proximity during conversations – all of these are signs that she might be interested in you on a deeper level. Plus, the occasional hug is definitely a good sign.

However, it's essential to remember that people can be complex, and sometimes their behavior might send mixed signals. Those moments where she avoids eye contact or acts reserved around you could be because she's shy or unsure about how you feel. It's not necessarily a sign of disinterest.

The fact that she mentioned something about your life that you hadn't told her directly, but only shared with a mutual friend, is a strong indicator that she's been discussing you with her friends. This could be a sign that she's genuinely interested in getting to know you better.

Now, about that "indirect rejection" you mentioned when she said she had to finish studying before going out – it might not be what it seems. University life can be hectic, and people genuinely do need to prioritize their studies at times. Her enthusiasm when you asked about her progress and her subsequent initiative to reach out to you again seem like promising signs.

So, what should you do next? Keep the lines of communication open and be patient. If she's genuinely interested but busy with her studies, she'll appreciate your understanding. Maybe you can offer to help her with her studies, showing your support and interest in her life.

Remember, it's okay to have those butterflies; it means you care. Keep being yourself, and don't overanalyze every little detail. Take things one step at a time, and see where this connection leads. It's a journey, and the most important thing is that you're enjoying the ride. Good luck, and I hope things work out the way you want them to!

[Amaretti]

Thank you both for a very detailed analysis, much appreciated.

I would like to give an update on this situation. So, after her exams were over, which she finished successfully after I helped her (she asked for help) and I was hoping that she might mention that drink. But it never happened. What happened is that she asked me if I want to be in a same group for classes on University with her and her best girl friends (you can choose every year with who you want to be), which I accepted. So, she wants to spend more time with me because if we weren't in same group, we would see each other maybe couple minutes per day only. This way we spend like nearly whole day together.

As classes started, I noticed that her behavior towards me has changed compared to last year. She seems more relaxed and comfortable around me, talks with me much more, asks questions, seems genuinely happy to talk with me. Sometimes teases me about stuff that happened to me, whenever we laugh in group, she always looks at me first before looking at her best friends. Her besties also changed their behavior towards me, they seem much friendlier than before. When I tried to sit on some place else in classes, she asked me "Where are you going, why won't you sit with us?". She started opening up with me about some more personal stuff, things she would never tell me before I asked her out.

I am starting to think that she might be shy and wants first to get to know me better before going on a date (her ex boyfriend was her good friend from school). Or she is just friendly and does not want to have anything romantic with me haha. I would ask her out again but she goes out with her friend group every weekend and maybe it's better to try first to get asked to join them (no idea how to do it tho haha).

[Kate]

It's great to hear that you're spending more time together and her behavior seems to be changing in a positive direction. It's always a good sign when someone actively seeks your company and wants to be in the same group for classes.

Her shift in behavior towards you, like being more relaxed, talking more, and opening up about personal stuff, could indeed be an indicator that she's comfortable around you and might be interested in getting to know you better. The fact that she asks you why you won't sit with her when you tried to move suggests that she values your presence and enjoys your company.

It's also worth considering her past relationship where her ex-boyfriend was her good friend from school. This might indicate that she values building a strong foundation of friendship before diving into a romantic relationship. This is actually quite common, and it could explain why she's taking her time to get to know you better.

As for the group outings, it could be an excellent opportunity to spend more time with her. Try to become more integrated into the friend group naturally. Participate in group activities and conversations, and gradually build connections with her friends. As you become more familiar to the group, it might increase your chances of being invited to join them for weekend outings.

In the meantime, continue being yourself and showing interest in her as a person. Continue to be a supportive and friendly presence in her life. If she's interested in you romantically, it will likely become more apparent as you both spend more time together.

Remember, patience is key in situations like these. Let things develop naturally, and don't rush into asking her out again. Focus on building a strong foundation of friendship, and if the chemistry is there, the opportunity for a romantic connection may naturally arise.

Wishing you the best of luck as your friendship with her continues to evolve! Keep those positive vibes flowing, and who knows where it might lead.