Help with a girl at a restaurant

[Goggles]

There is this girl who works at a Vietnamese restaurant I frequent with my friend. I've been going there for ages, up to two times a week, usually once a week, at least once every fortnight. The food is delicious and the staff is nice (usually ha!) but mostly because it's cheap, my friend and I don't have much money. A couple of weeks ago I noticed this really beautiful girl working there and I've been stealing glances at her whenever possible and hopefully not making it too obvious.

Hopefully... yeah, anyway even I am aware of the fact she noticed. Anyway, the general vibe has been really good and I think the staff are being more friendly to me? I've spotted many of the female staff quietly staring and smiling (making me uncomfortable) and the guys seem to be more friendly. Sometimes she seems to stand really close to me when I'm ordering (way too close) and I think she likes me. The problem is whenever I try to talk to her she scurries away. When she is working the cash register and I go up to pay she'll get someone else to do it, it happened to me today. Every time she gets someone else to do it and then she'll come out and stand next to me or somewhere close to me. I'm so confused.

My mum reckons it's an Asian thing (I'm Korean), she's playing hard to get. I'm not so sure what to think. Any help much appreciated.

[Michael]

I totally get where you're coming from, and I appreciate you sharing your story with me. It's clear that you've found yourself in a bit of a romantic conundrum at your favorite Vietnamese restaurant. We've all been there, right? The heart can be a confusing place, especially when mixed with cultural differences.

First, let me say that it's great that you've been a regular customer at this place, and it's even better that you've noticed someone who's caught your eye. And it's completely natural to steal a few glances here and there. So, don't beat yourself up over it!

From what you've described, it does seem like this girl has noticed your attention. The extra friendly staff and the subtle smiles you're getting might just be a positive sign. However, when it comes to approaching her, it appears she might be a bit shy or perhaps hesitant for some reason. That's where it gets a bit tricky.

You mentioned your mom's perspective, suggesting that her behavior might be an "Asian thing," playing hard to get. While cultural nuances can play a part in how people express their feelings or interest, it's essential to remember that everyone is an individual. What might work in one situation doesn't necessarily apply to another. In this case, I'd recommend not overthinking it in terms of cultural stereotypes.

One thing you could consider is finding a way to make her feel more comfortable. Instead of directly approaching her while she's working, maybe you could leave a note with your number and a friendly message next time you visit. It could be something as simple as, "I've enjoyed coming here and would love to get to know you better. Here's my number if you'd like to chat."

By doing this, you give her the option to reach out if she's interested, and it takes some of the pressure off. Plus, it shows you respect her boundaries and understand her position as an employee.

Remember, patience is key in situations like this. It might take time for her to feel more at ease, especially if she's new to the attention or just naturally reserved. Keep being your friendly, regular self when you visit the restaurant, and let her come to you when she's ready.

In the meantime, enjoy the delicious food, cherish the good vibes from the staff, and keep things lighthearted. You never know where this might lead, and whether it blossoms into something more or remains a pleasant part of your restaurant experience, it's a win-win situation.

[Olivia]

It sounds like you've found yourself in a rather intriguing situation with this lovely girl from the Vietnamese restaurant. Let me say, I totally get where you're coming from - those mixed signals can be super confusing, right?

First off, kudos to you for being a regular at the restaurant. It's clear you appreciate the food, and it's awesome that you and your friend have found a pocket-friendly spot to hang out. It's also great that you've noticed the friendliness of the staff, which can make your dining experience all the more enjoyable.

Now, about this beautiful girl who's caught your eye – it's natural to be attracted to someone. From your description, it does seem like she's noticed your glances. The smiles from other staff and the friendly vibes you're getting are definite green lights. But let's address the elephant in the room – her scurrying away when you try to talk to her. I can see why that's leaving you baffled.

Your mom's suggestion about it being an "Asian thing" might hold some truth, but remember, individual personalities and preferences can vary greatly. Some people do play hard to get as a way to create intrigue or protect themselves emotionally. But it's also possible that she might be shy or reserved, especially in a customer-service setting.

To unravel this puzzle, I'd suggest trying a few things. Start by building a rapport with her. Maybe engage in some light, friendly conversation when she's not too busy. Ask about her favorite dishes at the restaurant, or maybe share a funny story about your own experiences there. The goal is to make her feel comfortable around you.

Secondly, don't rush. If she's a bit shy, take it slow. It's important to respect her boundaries. Instead of directly asking her out, maybe suggest casual hangouts where she can join you and your friend after work – like grabbing a coffee or a quick snack somewhere else.

Lastly, pay attention to her cues. If she continues to stand close to you and be friendly but doesn't engage in deeper conversation, it could be a sign she's not ready for anything more just yet. Remember, not everyone warms up quickly.

Keep in mind that the staff, being friendly, might just be part of their job. So, the signs from others may not be definitive indicators of her interest.

In any case, whether things progress with this girl or not, it's important to enjoy your time at the restaurant and respect her feelings and boundaries. Who knows, maybe one day you'll share a hearty laugh over this 'will-they-won't-they' phase. Good luck!

[Goggles]

Hi Michael and Olivia, thanks for the replies.

I've recently had my wisdom teeth extracted so I'm going to order some takeaway from the shop and hand her a note.

"To the beautiful girl who always runs away: (phone number)"

You don't think this is too confronting, rude or there might be a negative reaction in any way? I don't want her to freak out. Rejection I can take, but I don't want to make things bad for her

[Goggles]

If there are any suggestions what I might be able to write to her, it will be much appreciated. Something short and sweet