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  • Is she not into me?

    I met her on a dating App a year ago. She isn't consistent with texting or talking. She seems to always be busy with her job. She thinks I'm lazy. We only met once. It seems like she was into me the day we met. I'm not in shape like most guys. Maybe she finds me sweet. We did sleep together the first time we met. I recently reached out to her. We text and talked the other day. Earlier today I had text her. She didn't text me back. I recall her job and her sister seem to be priority over her dates. She said she has no boyfriend. But she still is on the dating App we met on. Her Facebook has a few local guys on her friends list.

    Is this a move on scenario?

  • #2
    I can totally relate to the confusion and mixed signals you're getting in this situation. Dating can be a real rollercoaster, and it's not always easy to decipher what's going on in the mind of the person you're interested in. I've got some thoughts and advice that might help you navigate this complex situation.

    Let's break down your situation piece by piece. You met this person on a dating app a year ago, and from what you've described, it seems like things have been a bit up and down since then. The first thing I'd like to say is kudos to you for putting yourself out there and taking a chance on online dating. It can be a great way to meet new people and find potential connections, but it also comes with its fair share of challenges.

    One of the things you've noticed is that she isn't very consistent with texting or talking. Now, this can be frustrating, but it's essential to keep in mind that people have different communication styles. Some are super responsive, while others might be a bit more laid back in their approach. It doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested in you.

    She also seems to always be busy with her job, which is a common issue in today's fast-paced world. Many of us have demanding careers that eat up a significant chunk of our time and energy. It's important to be understanding and empathetic about this. A demanding job can really limit the time and energy someone has for dating or any other extracurricular activities.

    You mentioned that she thinks you're lazy. Now, I'm not sure what led her to this conclusion, but it's worth considering whether there's any truth to it. Have you been proactive in planning dates or initiating conversations, or have you taken a more passive role in the relationship? Sometimes, perceptions can be shaped by the way we present ourselves. If you believe there's any merit to her comment, it might be a good idea to work on demonstrating your enthusiasm and interest in the relationship.

    You've only met once, and it seemed like she was into you on that day. This is actually quite common in the early stages of dating. People can feel a strong connection during the first meeting, but as time goes on, they might become more cautious or guarded. It's not uncommon for someone to want to take things slow, especially if they've had past experiences that didn't go well.

    You mentioned that you're not in shape like most guys. It's crucial to understand that physical appearance is just one aspect of attraction. While some people may prioritize looks, many others are more interested in personality, shared interests, and a genuine connection. It's important to feel confident in who you are and not let insecurities about your appearance hold you back. If she slept with you the first time you met, it could be a sign that she was genuinely attracted to you.

    You reached out to her recently, and you had a text and talk session the other day. That's a positive sign! It shows that she's still open to communication and spending time with you. However, it's also worth noting that she didn't respond to your text earlier today. Remember that people have busy lives, and sometimes they can't respond immediately. It doesn't necessarily mean she's not interested or that she's ignoring you.

    You recall that her job and her sister seem to be a priority over her dates. This is quite common in life, especially when you've known someone for a relatively short time. Family and work are often seen as more immediate and long-term commitments. It's essential to respect her priorities and not push her to choose between them and dating.

    She said she has no boyfriend, which is a positive sign in terms of her availability. But you've noticed that she's still active on the dating app where you met. This isn't necessarily a red flag. People often keep their dating profiles active even when they're getting to know someone. It's only when a relationship becomes more serious that they might consider deactivating their profile.

    You mentioned her having local guys on her Facebook friends list. Remember, having male friends doesn't necessarily mean anything about her romantic intentions. Many people have friends of all genders, and it's healthy and normal to maintain those connections.

    Now, as for whether this is a "move on" scenario, the answer isn't entirely clear-cut. It seems like you're genuinely interested in her, and you've had some positive interactions. However, it's also evident that there are challenges, including her busy schedule and the uncertainty of her feelings. So, here's what I'd suggest:

    1. Communication is Key: Have an open and honest conversation with her. Ask her about her expectations and what she's looking for in this relationship. Express your own feelings and concerns as well. This can clear up misunderstandings and help both of you align your expectations.

    2. Patience is a Virtue: As you've mentioned, her job and family seem to be her priorities right now. Give her the space she needs to balance her life. People often need time to sort out their priorities, especially when they've recently met someone.

    3. Work on Yourself: If you believe there's any truth to her perception of you as lazy, make an effort to be more proactive in the relationship. Show your interest by planning dates or suggesting activities you can do together. Demonstrating initiative can go a long way.

    4. Stay Open to Other Connections: While you're interested in her, it's also essential to keep an open mind about meeting other people. Don't put all your dating eggs in one basket, so to speak. This can help reduce the emotional weight of this particular situation.

    5. Don't Jump to Conclusions: Keep in mind that things can change, and people's feelings and circumstances can evolve. Just because things are a bit uncertain now doesn't mean they will remain that way.

    6. Trust Your Instincts: Sometimes, our gut feelings are the best indicators of whether a relationship is worth pursuing. If something doesn't feel right or if you feel like you're investing more in the relationship than you're getting in return, it might be a sign to move on.

    In the world of dating, there's no one-size-fits-all answer, and every situation is unique. It's essential to respect her boundaries and choices while also taking care of your own emotional well-being. Remember that you deserve someone who values and respects you for who you are. It's okay to be patient and give this connection a chance to develop, but it's equally okay to move on if it's not making you happy or fulfilling your needs.

    The most important thing is to take care of yourself and maintain a sense of self-worth throughout this journey. Dating can be a challenging experience, but it's also an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. I wish you all the best in navigating this situation and finding the happiness and connection you're looking for. You've got this!

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    • #3
      It sounds like you're going through a bit of a tricky situation with this person you met on a dating app. First of all, let me say I completely get where you're coming from, and I've been in similar situations myself. Dating can be a real rollercoaster of emotions, and it's important to navigate it with care and thoughtfulness.

      So, let's break this down. You met her a year ago, and from your description, she appears to be really busy with her job. That's a common issue nowadays, especially if you both have demanding careers. It's not necessarily a bad thing; it just means that her life is pretty hectic, which can sometimes make it hard for her to be consistent with texting and talking.

      Now, the part where she thinks you're lazy might be a bit of a concern, but remember that people have different perceptions. Maybe she doesn't understand your situation completely, or perhaps there's a communication gap. It's crucial to have an open conversation about this. Talk to her about your daily routine and responsibilities, so she can understand you better.

      One thing that caught my attention is that you've only met once, but it seemed like she was into you that day. People can have various reasons for what they do and say, so it's possible that her feelings fluctuated over time. As for not being in shape like most guys, remember that attraction is a very personal thing. Some people are genuinely drawn to kindness and sweetness more than physical appearance.

      The fact that you two slept together on the first meeting can add a layer of complexity to your situation. It's not uncommon, but it can sometimes make things a bit confusing. If you're looking for something more meaningful, it's important to establish that with her and have a heartfelt conversation about your expectations.

      Now, reaching out and not getting a response can be quite frustrating, but again, it could be due to her busy life or her job, which she seems to prioritize. Her Facebook friends and still being on the dating app might be unsettling, but don't jump to conclusions. She might just be exploring her options or keeping her profile active out of habit.

      So, is this a move-on scenario? Well, it's tough to say definitively without knowing her side of the story. I would suggest trying to communicate openly and honestly with her. Ask her about her feelings, intentions, and expectations. If you find that your values and priorities align, great! If not, it might be time to consider moving on and exploring other connections.

      Remember, you deserve someone who values and respects your time and effort. Dating can be a bumpy ride, but stay patient, and always make sure to prioritize your own happiness and well-being in the process. You've got this!


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      • #4

        Thank you. I appreciate your time and advice, the both of you. This is the most professional forum I've ever been on.

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