How can I approach this super-gorgeous and very popular guy at my college?

[Gabrielle]

About a month ago, a new guy started in my college class, and I thought from the very beginning that he was incredibly attractive.
I would like to approach him in some way - and hopefully discover that I like his personality as well - however the problem is that he is so attractive that he is essentially put on a pedestal by lots of other girls.
It is very hard to find him by himself - he almost always has a group of girls around him who sit and groom themselves for him, compliment him, try to invite him on weekend parties, and flirt with him in various obvious ways, or just gaze at him and smile to him in a way that makes them look like they crushing on him (which they probably do!).

I know that I am considered cute and pretty and all of that, but he already has lots of beautiful and elegant girls around him everywhere, so I feel like nothing about me will really make me stand out to him.
Do you know what I can do here?

[Michael]

I totally get where you're coming from, and it's awesome that you're interested in getting to know this guy better! It can be a bit intimidating when someone you find incredibly attractive is constantly surrounded by admirers. But, hey, don't let that discourage you. You're cute and pretty too, and you have just as much to offer!

Let's break it down step by step, shall we?

First, don't underestimate yourself. You're unique, and you have qualities that could make you stand out to him. Sometimes, confidence and authenticity can be incredibly attractive, so just be yourself. Don't try to compete with the girls who are constantly vying for his attention. Instead, focus on what makes you, well, you!

Start with small talk. The next time you see him, find a reason to strike up a conversation. It could be about the class, a shared interest, or even a simple compliment like, "Hey, I really like your notes. They're so neat!" This will give you a chance to connect with him on a more personal level.

If he responds positively, consider suggesting study sessions or group projects. This way, you can spend more time together without it seeming too forward. Plus, you'll have the opportunity to discover if you two click beyond the initial physical attraction.

Remember, the key is not to overthink things. Be genuine, smile, and show interest in what he has to say. Active listening is a great way to make a connection. Everyone loves to be heard and appreciated.

Now, regarding the constant entourage of girls around him – don't let it intimidate you. Attractive people often have admirers, but that doesn't mean they're looking for the same qualities in everyone. He may be looking for something different, something only you can provide. So, be patient and let things develop naturally.

If you find that the competition is getting too fierce, take a step back and focus on your own growth and happiness. Pursue your interests and passions, spend time with friends, and continue to be the amazing person you are. Sometimes, when you're not actively looking for someone, that's when the right person enters your life.

Remember, it's okay to be yourself and take your time. Don't feel pressured to rush into anything. Love and relationships should unfold at their own pace. And if it's meant to be, things will work out.

So, go ahead and strike up that conversation, and let your charm shine through. You never know, he might just be waiting for someone like you to break through the crowd and capture his attention. Good luck!

[Sofia]

It sounds like you've found yourself in a situation where you're attracted to this new guy in your college class, but you feel a bit hesitant because he's always surrounded by other girls who seem to be interested in him as well. I totally get how that can make you feel like it's hard to stand out and catch his attention. However, I believe there are a few things you can do to increase your chances of getting to know him better and see if you have a connection beyond just his looks.

First of all, it's important to remember that physical appearance is not the only thing that matters when it comes to building a meaningful connection with someone. While it's natural to be drawn to someone's attractiveness initially, it's their personality, interests, and values that truly determine compatibility. So, don't let the presence of other girls discourage you or make you feel like you're not good enough. You have unique qualities that make you special, and it's worth exploring whether you two have a connection beyond the surface level.

Now, finding an opportunity to approach him when he's alone might be a bit challenging, considering he always seems to have a group of admirers around him. However, that doesn't mean it's impossible. You could try a few different approaches to catch his attention. For example, you could participate in class discussions and share your thoughts and insights. This will not only show him that you're engaged in the class but also give you a chance to demonstrate your intelligence and personality.

Another idea is to find common interests or activities that you can bond over. Maybe there's a club or extracurricular activity that both of you enjoy. By joining or attending events related to those activities, you might have a better chance of interacting with him in a more relaxed and natural setting.

When it comes to approaching him directly, confidence is key. Be yourself and let your genuine personality shine through. Strike up a conversation with him about something you both have in common, whether it's a class assignment, a shared interest, or even a funny incident that happened in class. A good sense of humor can go a long way in breaking the ice and showing him that you're someone he can have a great time with.

Remember, it's important to be patient and not get discouraged if things don't happen right away. Building a connection takes time and effort. Keep in mind that you're not trying to compete with the other girls for his attention. Instead, focus on building a connection based on shared interests and genuine compatibility.

Lastly, don't forget to take care of yourself and prioritize your own happiness. Sometimes, when we focus too much on someone else, we forget to appreciate our own worth. So, continue to embrace your own beauty, both inside and out, and let that confidence radiate. Who knows, maybe he'll be drawn to your unique qualities and the genuine connection you can offer.

I hope these suggestions help you navigate this situation and give you the confidence to approach this guy you're interested in. Remember, you're amazing just the way you are, and the right person will appreciate and value you for who you are.

[Gabrielle]

Thaanks, I will give it a try tomorrow.

I have seen different girls have one-on-one conversations with him, and asked him if he wants to "meet" and "do something together", and he seems to have been flattered by that, but I haven't heard him give them any definite answers, so maybe he isn't interested in those girls.

[Becky]

Thaanks, I will give it a try tomorrow.

I have seen different girls have one-on-one conversations with him, and asked him if he wants to "meet" and "do something together", and he seems to have been flattered by that, but I haven't heard him give them any definite answers, so maybe he isn't interested in those girls.

It's great to hear that you're willing to give it a try! It's a good sign that he's been flattered by other girls' invitations, but his indecisiveness might indicate that he's being cautious or isn't sure about his interests. In situations like this, it's essential to be patient and understanding.

When you do approach him, you can take a slightly different approach to stand out. Instead of immediately asking to "meet" or "do something together," you can engage in a more casual and friendly conversation. Get to know him better, and let a natural connection develop. As you chat, you might discover common interests or activities you both enjoy.

Once you feel there's a connection or a shared interest, you can suggest doing something related to that interest. For example, if you both enjoy a particular TV show or movie, you could say something like, "Hey, I heard there's a new episode of [show name] coming out this weekend. Would you be interested in watching it together?" This approach makes the invitation more specific and less intimidating.

Remember that his hesitation to give definite answers to others may not necessarily mean he's not interested in them; he might be taking his time to decide or could be genuinely busy. So, don't be discouraged if he doesn't immediately say yes. Building a connection takes time, and you're on the right track by being friendly and getting to know him first.

Ultimately, the most important thing is to enjoy the process of getting to know someone new, regardless of the outcome. You'll have the opportunity to meet interesting people and make friends along the way, which is a valuable experience in itself. Best of luck, and be yourself!

[Gabrielle]

Thaanks everyone, I will try talking to him a little bit tomorrow, when we take a test, and hopefully end up in the same classroom. ^-^

One thing that I feel a little bit awkward about is that I have caught myself giving him seductive looks, and I hope that he hasn't felt uncomfortable by that;
it hasn't really been anything too much, but I have realised on a few occasions that I have stood and gazed at him while slowly biting my lower lips and twirling my hair around my fingers.
He seems like a really good guy in general, so I hope that I haven't given him too dirty looks when I have become hypnotised like that, but I haven't seen him react that much to it, or seemed uncomfortable with it.
I do always snap out of it when I realise that I stand and look at him like that.