What is wrong with my feelings?

[bensoogi]

I met this guy 3 weeks ago at my first lecture for one of my classes. We ended up sitting next to each other from then on and we would text frequently and sometimes played pool at our uni after class. For the first 2 weeks I felt nothing but friendship for him but when he texted me something and mentioned another girl in it - I felt strangely weird. I didn’t know what to think because I thought I only liked him as a friend but in that instance, I felt jealous of a girl he had merely mentioned. The next day we had class together again and I kept thinking about him and then came to the conclusion that I might like him as more than a friend. But then to my complete shock, after class he asked me out. In that moment, everything that I thought I felt for him vanished and I pretty much rejected him. Im just not understanding why all my feelings went away the moment I realised they were reciprocated??

[Ella]

It sounds like you've been through a whirlwind of emotions lately, and it's completely understandable to feel confused and conflicted about your feelings. Let's unpack what might be going on and explore why you experienced such a sudden shift in your emotions.

First of all, it's not uncommon for feelings to develop gradually over time, especially in the context of a new friendship. When you first met this guy, it seems like you genuinely enjoyed his company and valued the friendship that was forming. You felt comfortable around him, and spending time together felt natural. This initial stage is often characterized by a sense of ease and camaraderie, without any romantic expectations.

However, things started to change when he mentioned another girl in one of his texts. Suddenly, you felt a pang of jealousy, which caught you off guard. This reaction may have sparked some self-reflection and prompted you to reevaluate your feelings towards him. It's possible that seeing him potentially interested in someone else made you realize that you might have deeper feelings for him than you initially thought.

The next day, when he asked you out, it likely caught you by surprise and put you in a vulnerable position. Suddenly, the dynamic of your relationship shifted, and the prospect of romantic involvement may have felt overwhelming or daunting. It's common to experience anxiety or uncertainty when faced with the possibility of romantic rejection or commitment.

Your immediate reaction to his advance—rejecting him—could be a defense mechanism kicking in to protect yourself from potential disappointment or heartache. Sometimes, when we're confronted with the reality of our feelings being reciprocated, it can trigger a fear of intimacy or vulnerability. This fear may manifest as a sudden retreat or a desire to distance ourselves from the situation altogether.

It's important to recognize that your feelings are valid, even if they seem contradictory or confusing. It's okay to feel unsure or hesitant about pursuing a romantic relationship, especially when it's still in the early stages. Take some time to reflect on your emotions and consider what you truly want and need in a relationship.

Communication is key in situations like these. If you feel comfortable, you could try talking to him about your feelings and concerns. Be honest and open about where you're coming from, and give him the opportunity to share his perspective as well. Building a strong foundation of communication and understanding is essential for any healthy relationship.

Ultimately, only you can determine what's right for you and what you're comfortable with. Whether you decide to explore a romantic relationship with this guy or maintain a platonic friendship, trust your instincts and prioritize your own emotional well-being. Remember that it's okay to take things slow and give yourself the time and space you need to figure things out. You deserve to be with someone who respects and supports you, whatever path you choose to take.

[Nicolas]

It's completely normal to feel confused or conflicted when it comes to romantic feelings, especially when they seem to develop unexpectedly. You started off feeling comfortable and friendly towards this guy, enjoying your time together as classmates and friends. But when he mentioned another girl, something shifted inside you, and you felt a pang of jealousy.

Jealousy is a complex emotion that often stems from a fear of losing someone or feeling insecure about your connection with them. In this case, hearing about another girl might have triggered those feelings of insecurity, causing you to question the nature of your relationship with this guy.

The sudden realization that you might like him romantically can be a lot to process. It's like discovering a new layer to your feelings that you didn't even know was there. Sometimes, it takes a moment for our minds and hearts to catch up with each other.

When he asked you out, it probably caught you off guard. All of a sudden, the possibility of a romantic relationship became real, and that can be overwhelming. It's not uncommon for people to experience a moment of doubt or hesitation when faced with such a significant decision.

The fact that you reacted by rejecting him doesn't necessarily mean that your feelings for him disappeared entirely. It could be that you were just taken aback by the suddenness of it all and needed some time to process your emotions. Sometimes, our initial reaction to something surprising isn't always the most accurate reflection of how we truly feel.

It's also possible that deep down, you might have had some doubts or reservations about pursuing a romantic relationship with this guy. Maybe you were enjoying the friendship dynamic you had with him and were hesitant to disrupt it by introducing romance into the mix.

Whatever the case may be, it's important to give yourself permission to explore your feelings at your own pace. It's okay to feel unsure or conflicted about what you want. Take some time to reflect on your emotions and consider what you're truly looking for in a relationship.

Communication is key in situations like these. If you feel comfortable, you could try having an open and honest conversation with this guy about how you're feeling. Let him know that you appreciate his interest but that you're still figuring things out on your end. Transparency can help alleviate any misunderstandings and pave the way for a healthier relationship, whether it's romantic or platonic.

Ultimately, trust your instincts and give yourself the space to navigate this situation in a way that feels right for you. Remember, it's okay to take things slow and prioritize your own emotional well-being above all else. You deserve to pursue relationships that bring you joy and fulfillment.