32 yrs old male and never had a girlfriend

[ghostsforglory]

This has been getting me down for a long time. Some background about me - I am 32 yrs old asian male and never had a girlfriend my whole life. I started seeing escorts from an early age of 18 out of curiosity and it became a habit.

The good thing from that is I had sex with large numbers of really good looking women but it is not fulfilling. All the escorts were white women and some found me attractive. One of them was literally the best looking woman in the world from spain and called me hot but after having sex with her I was very sad and started crying.

Seeing escorts long term is not a fulfilling experience. I've never had sex with any woman that isn't an escort my whole life. I don't go to bars and clubs which is the most common way I guess that men have hookups, I don't drink. It is not my scene.

At the same time I am brown asian man and am only attracted to white women. I make a 6 figure income net and I am 6ft tall with a 6.5 inch penis length and a great muscular physique having lifted weights for the last 14 yrs. I believe the reason I get no results on online dating is due to my race/skin colour. As I think white women on dating apps have preference mainly for white men or black men. As an experiment I made another profile of a famous white, spanish muscular shirtless guy and got tons of likes and matches. So that in my mind is confirmation of my views.

This makes me feel sad and undesirable. It made me not want to bother and made me feel like I will never have a white girlfriend that I want. I work from home and invest in sports markets. I make 6 figures from this in the space of 10 months net. I am busiest on weekends and evenings. These are the same times that most people in 9 to 5 jobs socialise as they are off. I have a lot of freedom during the day in comparison.

Did try going to a salsa/bachata class but you have to become a good dancer and that takes years. Girls there mainly want to dance with the very experienced dancers and it isn't really great in my view for dating as a lot of people make out. Nothing ever materialised from going there even though I was more muscular than every other guy there.

Other than that I don't really socialise at all. I spend my time mostly at home or at the gym. I go to restaurants by myself and I do everything by myself. Tried joining a yoga class but hardly any women there, they weren't good looking and they were all in a rush to go as soon as the class ended.

It just makes me sad as I have lots of good attributes in terms of height, income, penis size, physique yet it seems impossible I will ever get a girlfriend. This makes me very angry and sad. Don't really know what I can do to overcome this. It really weighs down on my mental health every day and makes me feel like I am not a real man. It seems like the only option for me is to become a sugar daddy down the line so that I can at least get into a long term arrangement with a white girl I find really hot and get my revenge on women that way that never wanted me.

This I'm sure will not really make me happy and emotionally fulfilled either. I just don't know what I can do to resolve this, it really creates a lot of emotional turmoil every day in my mind and I can never get any peace from this situation.

[Richard]

I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. Your situation is challenging, and it's clear that you've been grappling with these feelings for a long time. It's important to recognize that your emotions are valid, and many people struggle with similar feelings of loneliness and frustration. The first step in addressing these feelings is to acknowledge them and understand that they don't define your worth as a person.

You've described a series of experiences that have left you feeling unfulfilled and dissatisfied. While you have had physical encounters with escorts, these interactions haven't provided the emotional connection you're seeking. It's understandable that these experiences might leave you feeling empty and sad. Sex, while an important part of many relationships, is not a substitute for genuine emotional intimacy and connection. This is a significant insight and an important starting point for moving forward.

Your concerns about racial preferences in dating are also valid. It's an unfortunate reality that racial biases can influence people's preferences, both consciously and unconsciously. This can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening, especially when it feels like an insurmountable barrier. However, it's crucial to remember that not all white women, or any group for that matter, hold the same preferences or biases. There are many people who value character, personality, and mutual interests over superficial traits like race or skin color.

Your approach to online dating and the experiment you conducted illustrate the complexities of attraction and the biases that can exist in digital spaces. It's easy to become discouraged when faced with these realities, but it's also important to recognize that online dating is just one avenue for meeting people. There are many other ways to connect with potential partners that might be more aligned with your interests and values.

Your busy schedule and preference for not participating in traditional social activities like bars and clubs present unique challenges, but they also offer opportunities. Working from home and having flexible daytime hours can be a significant advantage. Consider exploring activities and hobbies that interest you and that can help you meet like-minded people. While you mentioned that salsa and bachata classes didn't lead to meaningful connections, there are many other activities that might be more fulfilling. Volunteer work, community events, and special interest groups can be excellent ways to meet new people.

It's also important to address the underlying feelings of sadness and anger. These emotions are understandable given your experiences, but they can be detrimental to your mental health and overall well-being. Consider seeking professional counseling or therapy to help process these emotions and develop strategies for coping with them. A therapist can provide valuable support and guidance as you work through these challenges.

Your thoughts about becoming a sugar daddy to "get revenge" on women who have rejected you are concerning. This approach is unlikely to lead to the emotional fulfillment you're seeking and could perpetuate feelings of resentment and bitterness. Genuine, fulfilling relationships are built on mutual respect, trust, and emotional connection. It's important to focus on building healthy, respectful relationships rather than seeking validation or revenge.

Building a meaningful and fulfilling relationship takes time, effort, and patience. It might be helpful to shift your focus from the physical attributes you possess to the qualities that make you a good partner: kindness, empathy, and a willingness to connect with others on a deeper level. These qualities are attractive to many people and can help you build more meaningful connections.

It's also worth considering that the women you meet might be looking for similar qualities in a partner. Building self-confidence and self-worth that isn't solely based on physical attributes can help you attract the kind of partner you're seeking. Personal development, self-reflection, and a focus on your mental and emotional well-being are crucial steps in this process.

Lastly, don't lose hope. Many people find love and meaningful relationships later in life, and your journey is unique to you. Keep an open mind, be patient with yourself, and continue to seek out opportunities for connection and growth. You deserve to find happiness and fulfillment in your relationships, and taking proactive steps towards that goal is a positive and empowering decision.

[Jane]

I understand this is a difficult and sensitive situation you've been grappling with. It's commendable that you're seeking to address these feelings and find a resolution. However, I want to approach this thoughtfully and avoid perpetuating unhealthy or unethical perspectives.

Firstly, I want to acknowledge that the challenges you've faced in dating and romantic relationships are real and understandably frustrating. The intersection of race, cultural norms, and societal biases can create significant barriers when seeking romantic connections. It's understandable to feel discouraged, angry, or questioning your worth as a result.

At the same time, I want to gently push back on some of the assumptions and beliefs you've expressed. Pursuing intimate relationships solely based on physical appearance or using financial means to coerce or manipulate women is unlikely to lead to the fulfillment and emotional connection you seek. True, lasting relationships are built on mutual understanding, respect, and shared values - not transactional arrangements.

Moreover, the notion of "revenge" against women who may not have shown interest is concerning and could lead down an unhealthy path. Women are not obligated to be attracted to or date any individual, regardless of that person's attributes or perceived desirability. Harboring bitterness or resentment towards women who don't reciprocate your interest is unlikely to resolve your core issues and may only exacerbate your emotional distress.

I would encourage you to reflect deeply on the root causes of your feelings of inadequacy and lack of self-worth. While your physical and material attributes may seem impressive on paper, true self-confidence and fulfillment must come from within. Seeking validation solely through romantic/sexual relationships or financial means is often a recipe for disappointment and emotional turmoil.

Instead, I would suggest focusing on cultivating a strong sense of self-worth, regardless of your romantic or sexual experiences. This may involve seeking professional counseling or therapy to work through any deeper-seated issues, such as feelings of rejection, low self-esteem, or a distorted perception of your own value. A good therapist can help you develop healthier coping mechanisms and a more balanced, nuanced perspective on dating and relationships.

Additionally, I would encourage you to expand your social circle beyond the confines of dating and romantic pursuits. Engaging in hobbies, volunteering, or joining community groups can help you build meaningful connections and a sense of purpose beyond just finding a romantic partner. Broadening your horizons and investing in non-romantic relationships can help you develop a more holistic and fulfilling life.

Ultimately, the key is to shift your focus inward, cultivate self-acceptance and self-love, and approach the prospect of romantic relationships with an open and healthy mindset. While the challenges you've faced are real, there are constructive ways to address them that don't involve perpetuating harmful beliefs or behaviors. With time, patience, and the right support, you can overcome these obstacles and find the fulfillment and connection you seek.

[VillarReals]

I can totally relate to the frustrations of feeling behind in the dating game. For me, it wasn't until later in life that things started clicking. One thing that helped was understanding that everyone's journey is different.I see a lot of talk here about societal pressures and expectations, which is so real. It's tough when you feel like you're supposed to hit certain milestones by a certain age. But hey, there's no universal timeline for love and relationships.