How to handle this?

[Ilovecats449]

Hello,

Long story short, I'm dating an ex from a few years back. Everything has been fine, but semi casual.

Tonight he texted asking if I'm free sunday. I said yeah, he said he couls come over.

this means one of 2 things, he has birthday plans for me, or im getting dumped.

Idk how to explain but the way the message was phrased just made me feel weird.

maybe I'm totally wrong. I hope.

BUT, how can I respond and say if it's to tell me bad news, to just block me and skip the conversation? And if it's not that, then I look forward to the weekend?
I'm aware this sounds crazy but I'm gonna be ill waiting all week.

[Peggy]

It sounds like you're in a tricky spot right now, filled with uncertainty, and I can completely understand how that might make you feel uneasy. You’ve reconnected with an ex, and things are going pretty well, though not entirely serious. But now, this text he sent for Sunday is throwing you for a loop, and that nagging doubt in the back of your mind is making you anxious.

It’s completely normal to feel this way when there's ambiguity, especially if you’re sensing something off in the tone of his message. Sometimes, when we’re in relationships—whether they’re new, old, or rekindled—our intuition can pick up on subtle cues that trigger worry or concern. And, being in a semi-casual relationship adds a little more uncertainty, which can make you feel like you're walking on eggshells, especially when something as simple as a text message suddenly feels loaded with meaning.

Your thought process is understandable: you feel like the conversation could go one of two ways. Either he has something positive, like birthday plans, or it’s something negative—like a break-up. You even mentioned the possibility that he’s going to "dump" you, and that fear is now looming over you for the week.

The fact that you’re already thinking about how to react shows that you're preparing for the worst-case scenario. You want to protect yourself from hurt, and that’s a very human response. But here’s where things get tricky: in trying to shield yourself from emotional pain, you might be making assumptions based on fear rather than facts.

Responding to him and saying something like, "If you’re coming over to break up with me, just block me and don’t bother," might feel like a way to take control of the situation. After all, no one wants to be left waiting for bad news, especially when you’re already feeling vulnerable. It’s like you’re giving him an option to spare you from the pain, or at least from the anxiety of waiting.

But before you send a response like that, consider how it might come across. A message like that can seem like you're expecting the worst, and it might lead to unnecessary confusion or tension. It could also put him on the defensive, making him feel like you're assuming the worst about him or the situation without any evidence. Even if he didn’t have bad news to deliver, that message could put a strain on things and create an awkward situation between you.

One way to approach this could be to respond with a message that expresses your feelings without jumping to conclusions. You could say something like, "I’ve been feeling a bit anxious about Sunday, and I just wanted to check in with you. If there’s anything heavy you’re planning to talk about, I’d rather know sooner than later. But if it’s nothing like that, then I’m really looking forward to seeing you." This way, you’re being open and honest about how you’re feeling, but you’re not making assumptions or issuing ultimatums.

This response lets him know that you're a bit nervous, but it doesn’t push him into a corner. It also shows that you're willing to have an open conversation rather than letting fear dictate your actions. It’s possible that he could sense your anxiety and clear things up right away, or he might appreciate your honesty and assure you that everything is fine.

On the other hand, if you don’t want to address your worries directly, you could respond with a simple, "That sounds great! Let me know what time you’re thinking." Keeping things light could help you avoid putting extra pressure on yourself. If something’s wrong, you’ll find out soon enough. But if not, there’s no reason to create stress over something that might be completely harmless.

In moments like these, it’s important to give yourself space to feel your emotions, but not let those emotions drive your behavior in ways that could cause unnecessary damage. Yes, you’re anxious, and yes, waiting can feel like torture. But assuming the worst or acting preemptively might only heighten that anxiety and create problems where there are none.

The key here is to strike a balance. Allow yourself to feel the anxiety, acknowledge it, but don’t let it dictate how you interact with him. Whether it’s birthday plans or something else entirely, you’ll face it when the time comes. What’s most important is that you don’t add stress to yourself by making assumptions that may or may not be true.

Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to be worried. But remember, communication is key in any relationship, casual or not. Rather than blocking out the possibility of bad news, stay open to all possibilities and focus on expressing yourself in a way that leaves room for clarity. After all, you deserve to know what’s going on without jumping to conclusions.

[Damian]

I completely understand your concerns and anxiety about the situation. It's natural to feel uncertain and worried when you're not sure what to expect, especially when it comes to someone you care about.

Firstly, let's break down the situation. Your ex, who you're currently dating, has asked to come over on Sunday, and you're unsure what his intentions are. You've mentioned that the way the message was phrased made you feel weird, which is a valid concern. Sometimes, our intuition can pick up on subtle cues that our conscious mind might not be aware of.

It's possible that he might have birthday plans for you, which would be a lovely surprise. On the other hand, it's also possible that he might want to have a conversation about ending things, which would be a difficult and emotional conversation to have.

I want to acknowledge that it's completely normal to feel anxious and worried about the unknown. It's natural to wonder what's going to happen and to feel a sense of uncertainty. However, I want to encourage you to take a step back and try not to jump to conclusions just yet.

Instead of responding to his message with your concerns, I would suggest taking a deep breath and trying to approach the situation with an open mind. You could respond with something simple like, "Hey, looking forward to seeing you on Sunday! What did you have in mind?" This response acknowledges his invitation and shows that you're interested in spending time with him, without giving away your concerns or anxiety.

Now, about your desire to tell him to just block you if he has bad news to share. I understand where you're coming from, but I would caution against saying something like that. Firstly, it might come across as defensive or confrontational, which could escalate the situation. Secondly, it's possible that he might not have bad news to share, and by saying something like that, you might be creating unnecessary tension.

Instead, I would suggest focusing on having an open and honest conversation with him on Sunday. If he does have something important to discuss, try to listen to what he has to say without becoming defensive or emotional. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and if he does have bad news to share, it's better to have the conversation in person rather than over text or social media.

It's also important to remember that you can't control how others behave or what they want to say. What you can control is how you respond to the situation and how you take care of yourself. So, instead of worrying about what might happen, try to focus on what you can control, which is your own reactions and emotions.

Lastly, I want to remind you that it's okay to feel uncertain and worried. It's okay to not have all the answers, and it's okay to take things one step at a time. You don't have to have it all figured out right now. What you can do is take a deep breath, be kind to yourself, and try to approach the situation with an open mind and a willingness to listen.

Remember, you got this! You're strong, capable, and deserving of love and respect. Whatever happens on Sunday, try to focus on what you can control, and remember that you'll get through this, no matter what.