How to hint the guy to show sincere

[kellylonely1234]

Hi,
i met a guy online and he lives in different province. After around two months chatting online and few video calls, i decided to make a trip to meet him in person and also toured Alberta. My impression to him was positive. It was a 7 days trip in Alberta. We went out for three days. He showed me around the city. My impression of him was positive. He seems a gentle respectful guy. I traveled to Japan for 3 weeks after visiting Alberta. We continued to message each other daily. He said he has been trying to arrange a trip to Toronto where I live. Since we met in person a month ago, he still cannot finalize his trip to Toronto. The last video call he saif he will spend the christmas with his family in London and unable to make a stop in Toronto. I was disappointed. My guy friend suggested me to continue dating other guys until he shows obvious sincere such as visiting me every two three months in Toronto. It is very hard for me to know him if we cannot spend time to know each other in person. Also he might get retired next year. My guy friend said he should relocate for me since I have a full time job in Toronto and I am not at the age that is ready for retirement. I agreed with what my friend said. At this point, I just want to get to know him better and want him to show sincere to know me. How should I talk to the guy in Alberta about it? I am at the stage looking before a serious relationship and marriage. I don't want to waste time to do something meaningless. He is also looking for marriage as he told me from the beginning. I know I deserve a man who is very sincere to me and put time and effort on me. I would not take anything less. What should I say to motivate him to show more sincere? If his plan of visiting toronTo 6 months later, I won't waste anytime on him because it doesn't make any sense of waiting so long . Do you agree?

[Judith]

Learning how to make a man commit to marriage starts with recognizing that he just may be terrified of the idea of losing his independence. We hear so many jokes about how men are tied down once they get married. Men take these things to heart and they envision a future without their own choices and one governed by the will of their wife. While you two are in the dating stages show him that he can have all the freedom he needs. The best way to do that is to maintain your own freedom. Make plans that don't include him. Encourage him to go out and spend time with his own friends, while you do the same. If a man feels he has his own space, he'll want you to be closer.

Also, don't dwell on the subject of taking things to the next level if you want to make a man commit to marriage. If a man is feeling apprehensive or nervous about something and the woman he is involved with pushes him on it, he's going to resist as much as he possibly can. You may believe that the best way to get him to commit is to let him know incessantly how much you wish he'd marry you and how broken hearted you are over the fact that he doesn't want to make things more permanent. If you do this, you'll only be hurting yourself. Instead, stop all marriage talk this instant. Instead, focus more on things going on in your own life. Chase your own pursuits and before you know it, he'll be chasing you, trying to convince you to marry him.

[Anthony]

I won't advice you talk to him about showing more interest in the relationship. Doing this will make you appear desperate and might make him lose interest in you. Allow him take the lead in the relationship. If a man truly loves you, he knows exactly what to do to take the relationship to the next level.

[bunnyhabit]

Let him know that you are dating other men but have not really crushed on anyone yet but him. Tell him you get lonely so avail yourself to other men when he is not around you. If he wants you in a monogamous relationship he will spend more time and attention to your desires.

[kellylonely1234]

I guess you guys misunderstand my question. I must want him to visit me in Toronto in the near future so that I can get to know him better. if he is willing to make a trip to Toronto to see me in person, I would think he would be a sincere man that I might put even more effort to know him. Also I have already made the first move to meet him in person in Calgary in late Sept.

Whatever you guys said are correct. I think I put too much emotion on someone I saw 3 days and chatted online for two months. I believe that I set my expectations too high for dates. I should not have any expectations. After reading all the advices, I did not request him to visit me in Toronto or moving to the next level. just casual chat as usual.
anyways.. he has not messaged me since Halloween. I don’t think he would message me again. even he does, our situation will not go anywhere because we live far apart. I don’t think he would get a chance to get the gift I bought for him from Japan.

[bunnyhabit]

i clearly understood you and responded accordingly . you have the right attitude the ball is definitely in his court now. i have never believed in on line remote dating efforts. very seldom hear successful conclusions from people located far away physically.