Confused between right and wrong and what I want!

[North123]

Hi,
I have recently had a break up. We were serious about each other and had some family involved too. Everything was fine. We didn't have any major issues with each other. We dealt with things maturely. His previous relationship was a 4 yr old relationship and it did make me feel sometimes that a part of him could never get over it coz he never got closure. He and his ex hang out with the same group of friends and used to meet even after he started dating me. I never stopped him from going out with them coz i trusted him. He once happened go out on a night out with these guys and his ex after getting drunk told him she was about to get engaged soon. All the other friends knew about this except for him. And it did hit him. I was insecure and decided to ask him how he felt about it. He said it hit him and felt bad she didn't tell him coz they've been very close. We had an argument on this as to why should it affect him when he has clearly moved on. That's when we discovered maybe he's not completely over it. I was being supportive. Told him i will be there and wait for him to fix it. He started taking therapy and stopped talking to me. Or rather there was only minimal talking. He once said it was his past and then sometimes said we're different people and won't be happy then finally said again that it was just his past that affected him. I asked no of times if he wants to break up, he said no and that he will fix it. But after the last therapy session he was told that he is not over his ex. So he decided to break up with me but left saying he has feelings for me and can't consciouslyput me through this coz he can't give his 100% and doesn't feel the same as me. I tried to convince him but sometimes he said he'll do what i ask him to but also said he is scared he won't get over it. Finally just broke up with me. I heard from his friends that he does care for me and he looks pretty confused right now. Is also considering talking to his ex...and she isn't engaged yet. I have hopes. I love him a lot and I would want him to come back but i am not sure. I know everyone thinks it's not wise but that's what i want... are there chances? Will he realise?

We don't talk, the last we spoke was on the 6th. I haven't heard from him after that neither have I tried to contact him. I do not plan on doing that either. I write down things that I want him to know when i am angry or sad and I have planned on sending these letters to him after a month of not talking. The day we met and spoke about breaking up, I gave him a book that had every thing written about how I felt throughout the one month that he was taking therapy and not talking much. He wanted to keep that book and he took it with him. He cried a lot after reading what he put me through. The book also has letters that say how much I want to fix this and that I am ready to go over it again and again and help him fix his head. Idk if he cares... I have also written that if he ever misses me, he should come back. I just want him back. People say it's not going to work even if he does or that i am stupid but i really don't know what to expect...

[Scot]

If your boyfriend left you for his ex don't try and convince him that he's made the wrong choice. You know he has but trying to convince him of that will only make you look desperate in his eyes. Whenever a woman pleads with a man to take her back or she talks badly about another woman in an effort to win his heart, she devalues herself. You know that you're the superior choice for him so there's no better way to convince him of that then to show him.

Instead of taking the obvious approach by calling him all the time and reminding him of why he left her to begin with, show him what a mistake it was leaving you. The best way to do that is to show your boyfriend that you're mature and emotionally able to handle rejection on a scale like this. It's very hard to accept that your man dumped you and ran back to the woman he was with before he met you, but you do need to accept it in order to get him back. In other words you need to do the opposite of what he's expecting you to do.

Every man is driven by the challenges that present themselves in his life. It's why men are so captivated by sports and it's also why they chase after specific women. If you throw yourself at your boyfriend's mercy and beg him to leave his ex for you, you're killing his attraction for you. However, if you smile sweetly, tell him that you only want the best for him and you jump back into the dating pool, he'll fall over himself trying to win you back. Become the woman he can't have anymore and you'll be the woman he wants. Male psychology has proven that to be the case so use that knowledge to your advantage.

[Terry]

You like a guy but you just can't seem to get him over his ex! What is going on here!? He isn't even with the girl, but he just won't commit to you like he should because of this girl! How do you make him want you instead? How do you make him get over her?

Read on to find how how to get him over his ex...

Tip #1: Get Him Over His Ex By Becoming Better Than His Ex!

Find out what he found so attractive in this girl in the first place. Trust me, it's not just looks. A lot of men look at the personality... such as things like emotional maturity, independence etc...

Is this girl established or is she an emotional wreck? You see, if she is highly established (works, has a lot going on for her), then you should try and do the same, only on a grander scale. Achieve your goals outside of this man, and this will prove to him that you are a high class woman, and it will make him feel attracted to you, since it will show him that you are not too needy or clingy to men.

If the girl is an emotional wreck, you should understand that she was probably a project of his. Some people like to help others to feel better about themselves, and perhaps he feels guilty or hurt because this girl is still an emotional wreck, and you can help him get over that fact by explaining this to him, and also by keeping yourself controlled and emotionally strong for him. This will help get him over his ex.

Tip #2: Get Him Over His Ex, By Making Him Jealous!

Start to flirt with some of his male companions. This will trigger jealousy and will instantly have him thinking about you! You see, when he notices other people interested in you, and when he notices you showing interest in others... he will immediately feel as if he is going to lose you, and all of his concentration will be solely on you now.

This is because it feels like rejection when a man sees a woman flirting with another man. He instantly feels inadequate and as if he needs to step up his game now, because you shot a low blow to his ego, by making him jealous.

He will then work to get your attention, and will work to have you around now. This is the fastest and easiest way to get him over his ex.

Also remember that since jealous triggers attraction, you should never remind him if his ex is dating someone else, in an effort to prove that he should move on. For instance, you tell him that his ex is just promiscuous because she goes around with other men and dates many people.

That would be an obvious mistake, because then he would be highly jealous and would constantly be thinking about her with other men now as a result... so as a tip, never bring up his ex in comparison to you.

[Elizabeth]

So what do you need to do to get him to totally get over her, and choose you far above this other girl?

1. The top way to make him choose you clear cut over his ex. Is by being more and better than his ex. It might sound tough, but it's really very simple. You must show him that you are more emotionally stable than his ex and have far more endearing qualities than she does. This is critical plan on forging a place in his heart for good.

The most important thing you must do is show this person that you are goal oriented and have desires beyond what he can provide for you. The importance of this is to show that you are not dependent on him for love and support. You will show that you are grounded and have a strong foundation. Nothing is more attractive than having this quality.

2. Another powerful thing you can do is to be flirtatious with his peers. Make eye contact with them and compliment them about some quality of their appearance(hair, eyes, etc) When they are around, pay little attention to him and make him focus only on you.

Men cannot tolerate the idea of having their ego shattered. This will definitely make him start to take his mind completely off his ex and pursue you solely.

You must show him that you are not to be toyed with. Having you in his life would give him extreme value and he would be foolish to consider any other possibility. Remember not to mention anything whatsoever about his ex. You are trying to place all the attention on you and him.