I Cheated On My Girlfriend How Do I Fix It

[Adamvelaz]

Hey guys my name is Adam, I've been having a hard time dealing with a relationship with a person I've wronged by cheating. Our relationship was very good but as all do it had its faults we where together for 3 years and the only issue was an intimacy issue on her part not feeling adequate enough for me we where intimate not frequently but we still where. I had no problems as I understood that was an issue we could work on slowly. Although I began to work with her best Freind and we slowly started building feelings for each other that now I realize where just us knit picking at our significant others and trying to find the missing pieces between each other I was also very lost in the sense that I was battling an addiction which creating no excuses I knew it boosted my decision to make the wrong one. Her and I began talking more and more and we eventually kissed and started hanging out more and more. I eventually got caught by my other and it completely devastated her. I told her she should think about taking me back because I knew it would be a hard road back to trusting me and she still did and said she would try 2 months went by and I came home one day and she was upset at me because I had smoked in her apartment and it broke the camels back and she at that point broke up with me. It has now been almost a year. And we've both been seeing other people none of which worked out but through it all we have been hanging out with each other we go to the gym frequently because I told her I would help her loose weight we also go on hikes more than once and although her contact with me is short in recent months we still talk. What does this mean I'm confused because I've never been friends with my ex now that I have entered a program to battle my demons and have conquered them and have secretly done this not only for me but to show her as well I still love her and want her in my life I just don't know what to do because although I've tried to move on it's so hard for me and the kicker is we work together so it makes it even harder for me. What to do what to do I know that if I got a chance to love again my love would be stronger but the question is should I attempt after so many time to talk to her about it. It's also wrong of me to think that a kiss and hanging out is not cheating because it was but how do I got about this

[Gray]

When all the cards are on the table and you're both sick of staring at them, look straight into your ex girlfriend's eyes and tell her you're sorry. Tell her you know what you did was wrong, and you knew it the moment you did it. Tell her that cheating is something you would never, ever do again, and that you've really had a lot of time to think about how much she means to you. Make this last apology as sincere and serious as possible. Ask for forgiveness, but don't ask her to take you back. That idea must come from her, or your new relationship will fail. If she loves you, and she probably does, she'll want to believe you. It may take some extra time, but the memory of what you did will be obscured by her desire to be with you again. It won't fade completely, but it'll be overshadowed by the potential for a relationship with you.

This is when you'll get back together with your ex. It must be done delicately, because any relationship you create will be extremely fragile right now. The first time she hugs you again she'll be overcome with another flood of emotions, and any residual rage she still has might accidentally come back out. If it does, do NOT fight her on it. Let it come, and accept it. A big part of getting your ex to trust you again is truly understanding her feelings.

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[Elliot]

So you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her do you? No worries I will help you out.

The first thing to note, is that all is not lost here. Yeah you screwed up, but we are all human and make mistakes. You may be surprised to know that you are in a better position than someone who was dumped, because the attraction or spark had faded from their relationship.

So, try to keep your chin up and lets have a look at how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her.

First things first, you girl is gonna feel betrayed and hurt right now. I say this not to put you down, but to try and get you to understand how she is feeling. She is gonna say a lot of bad things, ask a lot of questions, shout, scream and yell.

I do not know what stage you are at, at the minute. Like, how long ago did she find out about the cheating?

Whatever that time period is, it is very important to take a step back in your relationship. Apologise once and once only for now. If you have been apologising repeatedly, just cut it out as soon as possible. If you are ever in contact with your girl again soon, it is best to be humble and say as little as possible.

She may start to shout and say bad things to you. Let her.

She may start to ask a lot of questions about why you cheated and ask about other details. Try not to answer these questions, because the more you say, the more you give your girl to use against you.

If you allow it, more questions and accusations will come at you. The best action you can take here is to get off-side and give your girlfriend some space. She is gonna rant and rave, so you might as well be out of harms way.


You may be wondering, how is running away going to help? All you want to know is how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her?

The reason for this, is that your girlfriend probably hates you right now. Being to close to her, is a recipe for disaster and can makes things worse.

What you are best doing is backing of, give her some space, to calm down and get over the initial hurt.

You should bear in mind that love and hate are very similar emotions. So cling onto that thought.

Now, when I say back of and give her space, I am talking about cutting contact completely. (Obviously you may have to have some contact for any bills, children and the like).

You will miss her of course, and this will be a tough time. But the key aim here, is that she will miss you to. This is a very subtle trick, but works like magic.

If you constantly apologise, try shower your girl with affection and send loads of gifts. You will only annoy your girlfriend and remind her what you did wrong.

But by cutting contact you will make her miss you and also create a sense of mystery. She will be wondering what you are doing and asking herself has she lost you for good?

Is she does this, you are in a great position!

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back After You Cheated On Her

Now it is hard to know exactly when your girlfriend has calmed down and started to miss you. A good rule of thumb is to give her a month of no contact (or limited necessary only contact).

Yeah, I know a month sounds like a long time, when you are hurting and you just want to get your girl back. But unfortunately it is a necessary evil my friend.

She may contact you before the month is over. This is a good sign and shows that she misses you and may be wondering if she has lost you.

If she doesn't contact you within the month, do not panic, the same rules apply to both cases.

Either way the first initial contact between the two of you is critical. You do not want to mess things up at this promising stage.

When you first speak to your girlfriend you should sound friendly but humble. Briefly ask how she is. Then suggest meeting up sometime to catch up. Note: you do not want to make this sound like a date.

So meeting up for something informal like lunch or coffee is ideal here. Stay away from dinners and other lengthy affairs.

Your girlfriend may say yes, which is great. She may say "hmmm I don't know". In this case say something like "c'mon it is only meeting up for coffee".

If she says no, graciously accept this, let her know to contact you if she changes her mind, then say good-bye. What you often find here, is that she will phone you back fairly soon after. She probably just needed more time to think things over.

When you get to the stage of meeting up for the first time, you are in an absolutely fantastic position!

It is very possible to get to this stage if you follow the advice. However, you are still not quite home and dry yet. You can very easily mess things up at this stage, so please pay attention.

So, lets take a look at the final steps on how to get your ex girlfriend back after you cheated on her.

The first time you meet up with your girlfriend, will be a difficult one. You may want to grab her and hug her. But you have to be reserved slightly here, unless of course she initiates anything.

Be friendly, fun and try to focus on positive things. Do not start repeatedly apologising. If the subject of cheating comes up, apologise once and move on.

She may ask you questions about why and ask about other details. This is actually a good sign!

It shows that your girl is trying to justify and downplay the cheating in her head. However: Do not give her all the gory details.

While I do not condone lying, this is one of them times when altering the truth can help. Seriously. Trying to confess all of your sins to make yourself feel better is wrong here. It will only cause more heart-ache.

Instead learn to accept and live with what you did yourself. Give your girl some simple answers like: it was only one time; it meant nothing; was terrible; I do not even want to do it again.

The aim with this first meeting is to be as fun and friendly as possible and keep as much negative issues out of the conversation. You also want to keep the meeting relatively short. Allot yourself either half and hour or an hour.

Once this time is up, finish the 'date' and say your good-byes. Obviously do not just get up and run out the door. Try to leave things on a good positive note.

There is one final issue to be VERY careful with:

When leaving the meeting on good terms, wish your girlfriend all the best, but do not try to arrange another date just yet. (Unless she suggests it of course).

If she does not say about meeting up again, neither do you!

Instead pleasantly walk away and leave things as they are. What you will be doing here, is using a sneaky psychological trick. That will create a sense of mystery and curiosity of what is happening in your relationship.

This is very attractive in the minds of girls!

You can of course contact your girlfriend in a few days to see about meeting up again. But you will be in a very better position at this stage, believe me.

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[Roy]

A lot of us believe that a relationship automatically ends after an affair or cheating occurs. There is even a popular country song to push that concept forward - "Before he cheats". We also have a saying to the effect that once he cheats, he will always cheat.

While this may be true in some circumstances, it shouldn't have to apply to all relationships where cheating is involved. If BOTH parties are willing to work on the relationship, then forgiveness, healing and the restoration of trust can occur. It will take some time to restore a relationship were cheating is involved.

In order to restore trust in a relationship were one has broken the commitment to the other, an adjustment in actions and in attitudes is necessary. By changing attitudes and actions, it becomes possible to save your relationship after cheating. Changing attitudes and actions begins the process of slowly but surely increasing the level of trust in the relationship.

Engaging in an affair or cheating usually starts with your attitude about cheating which allowed you to engage and carry on with the affair to the exclusion of thinking about how damaging your cheating would be to your partner and your relationship.

You need to determine why your relationship and your partner meant so little to you when you decided to cheat on him or her. What is wrong in the relationship from your standpoint that caused you to cheat? Once you find the root cause, you can then determine whether there is a remedy or not for the broken relationship.

Find out what you were looking for that you thought your partner could not provide. Was there a lack of intimacy or bedroom problems? Did both or one of you become so busy that you neglected spending time with each other in order to enrich the relationship? A relationship can not be neglected in order for it to thrive. Did your partner let themselves go?

If your relationship was perfect, you would not have strayed. If you strayed in a perfect relationship then you have commitment issues and you will never be satisfied with anyone and you need to work on yourself before you get into any other relationship because you will face the same commitment issues over and over again. Self analysis may be important to do in order to fix a relationship or decide to move on from each other.

Slowing restoring a relationship usually means attempting to fix the relationship's underlying problems. Ignoring the problems will only lead to more cheating in the future by one or both of you until you both develop feelings of bitterness or resentment toward the other which is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Relationship counseling may be a step to consider if both of you decide that there is much to salvage in the relationship and you are both willing to work on restoring trust.

A very important step to getting your ex back after cheating is to understand that your actions are very important in restoring trust. It may be annoying sometimes, but be where you say you are going to be, be with whom you said you were going to be with, etc. The key to get back your ex is to do the right things and not only talk a good game. Follow through with what you say EVERY TIME.

An important step is to ensure that you start to make small promises and most importantly, keep them. In order to build trust, become a trustworthy person to your partner. It may be as simple as promising to take the trash out or mow the lawn. Be consistent in going through with your promises. Your partner will be waiting for you to mess up because they have been told that they will never be able to trust you again.

By showing your trustworthiness though consistent action, trust will slowly be restored to the relationship and you will be on your way to getting your ex back. The relationship can even become richer than it was once before because you both are being considerate to one another. You more so than your partner whom you betrayed. Once you can be trusted in small things, you can then be trusted in larger areas.

Your girlfriend or wife, boyfriend or husband will need constant reassurance for a while that they made the right decision in giving you another chance especially if they are hearing from others what a mistake they are making in giving you another chance. Get used to apologizing often over time.

It will not be easy for him or her to forgive you so you need to be patient and not be frustrated. However, if after a long period of time, they can't seem to move past the betrayal, you may need to evaluate whether the relationship has been irrevocably broken and for both of you to move on. You do not need to feel guilty for the rest of your life.

You have to be able to put in the work to restore trust in the relationship. If you are not willing to do this work and be patient and understanding with your partner, let him or her move on with their life. Half hearted attempts at getting your ex back after cheating are not worth it in the long run for either of you.

The breaking of trust provides a unique opportunity to change both your attitudes and you actions towards yourself and others. Building a stronger and richer relationship after cheating and the break down of trust has occurred is possible.

What if she has moved on? Here's how to get her back.

[Anthonia]

The key ingredient in those who make it is a commitment to work together and try to restore trust and respect again. If both persons aren't willing to try to fix the relationship then it's probably never going to happen.

If you want to give yourself a fighting chance follow these simple tips on how to fix a relationship after cheating is uncovered.

Apologize Sincerely - This is the most important step you will take in your journey to figure out how to fix a relationship after cheating. If you have already apologized and that's as far as you have gotten, then perhaps you didn't apologize the right way.

For your relationship to start healing, your partner must believe that you are sincere in your apology. Remember, you are viewed as a liar and a cheat so just saying "I'm sorry" isn't enough. Make sure you apologize from the heart and be able to explain why you are sorry. Don't let it seem like you are only sorry you were caught.

Take responsibility for the affair - Admitting to an affair is difficult and it's very easy to try to shift the blame to your partner or even the other person who seduced you. Learning how to repair a relationship after cheating has occurred includes accepting the fact that you had choices and the one you chose wasn't the right one. Don't point fingers unless you are looking in the mirror.

Ask for a second chance but not forgiveness - If you want to earn the chance to fix your relationship after cheating you need to ask for a chance to redeem yourself. However, don't make the mistake of asking that you be forgiven for your adulterous behavior. If you take the right steps in mending your broken relationship after infidelity, your partner will eventually forgive you. I would advise against asking to be forgiven

Be cooperative, patient and supportive - You have probably devastated your lover's heart and mind and he or she needs time to heal and recover. You probably want to get over this as quickly as possible and you might even grow impatient when your partner questions you again and again and treats you like an untrustworthy partner.

If you have any interest in figuring out how to fix a relationship after cheating then exercise patience and understanding. Healing takes time and so does rebuilding of trust.

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[Sandra]

Looking for the most effective ways on how to get your girl back before it's too late? Then you must read this article carefully. Winning your girl back can be straightforward if you apply an effective strategy to turn things around and get her back in your arms. Don't risk pushing your girl away forever like many men before you, lets examine how you can avoid silly common mistakes to avoid further heartbreak.

Almost all relationships can be saved but once again it requires you to go against the grain and avoid have the same impulsive and erratic behavior like others before you. Discover how to get your girl back the smart way!

If you have been making silly common mistakes such as calling and messaging your ex girlfriend constantly in fear of losing her forever you must stop immediately! Not only will this reaffirm your girls decision to leave you and quickly ruin your last chance to get her back.

One of the first things you need to do is understand that your girl has her reasons for leaving, you must respect her decision. While you may think you understand the reasons why she left you, more often than not these are not the true reason why your girl left you.

Before you can learn how to get your girl back you must accept the break up and understand that your relationship can not pick up where it left off. No amount of crying, begging or pleading to your girl to give your relationship one more chance will get her back and keep her in your life.

Avoid making empty promises or telling your girl what you think she wants to her. You need to respect your ex's feelings and understand that simply wanting things to change will do little to make it a reality. You must fix the problems in your relationship first.

Give your girl some time and space to gather her thoughts and allow yourself sometime to let your emotions and feelings settle. It's imperative that you approach things with a level head and being using your head first and your heart second for the time being.

Both men and women love a partner with confidence and a great outlook on life. You need to do your best to put a smile on your dial and start doing things to keep you in a positive state of mine. Show your ex that you are still the person she fell in love with.

Show your girl you can live without her, this is crucial. Spend time doing things you enjoy and get word back to your girl through mutual friends or family about your new outlook on life.

Your girl will begin to question why you suddenly have a new lease on life and are no longer speaking to her or trying to get in contact her. This will leave your girl curious and begin wondering if you still love her, want her or if you have met someone else. These are only the first steps on how to get your girl back.

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