I Broke Up With My Girl 4 Years Now and I Haven't Been Able To Get Over Her

[Sammy]

I broke up with my girl 4 years now and I haven't been able to get over her we have a son and she is getting on with her life meeting new people but my confidence is gone when I try I fail and I fail in bed too.

My Doc said there is medication to help the problem but I don't like meds I know its in my mind.

I'm 35 and losing hope have you got any suggestions please reply

thank you

[Nicolas]

A couple things...

1... 4 years is a long time to carry a torch... no matter how much you loved that girl you owe it to yourself and to your son at this point to drag yourself up by the collar and get back out into the world.

To be a great dad you need to be happy and to be happy you need to at least open yourself to the IDEA of finding love again.

2... Impotence sucks and it can happen to EVERY man at some point or another... yes indeed it has happened to me too and my penis is usually as reliable as the German train system... yet even the Germans can on strike and not want to play!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a little chemical "crutch" to help you get over the "hump" here when you are with a new woman for the first time... the LAST thing you need to be worrying about is if you are going to be able to perform or not.

And just because you try out the meds ONCE does not mean you have to use them FOREVER... most likely once you get comfortable with a new woman you will be able to ditch the pills entirely... I totally know where you are coming from by the way... I HATE the idea of taking meds for ANYTHING... yet that little bit of fizz in the pencil can make a happy lay!

Smiles.

[Sofia]

No matter whatever reasons she has for not to feel the same for you, you should try your best to get over her.

Here are a few steps on how to get over a girl who doesn't love you back.

1) Acknowledge your emotions -

Feeling grief is normal when you find that the crush of your life has not any feelings for you. However, you should acknowledge your emotions at this stage. If you keep lying to yourself about your emotions, you might not be able to get over her.

Accept your emotions, instead of rejecting them. And then try to control those emotions.

2) Avoid her -

If you want to get over a girl, then you need to increase distance between both of you. Avoid meeting and seeing her as much as you can.

If you see her regularly, then it will be a little difficult for your subconscious mind to accept that you can get over her.

However, if doing so is not possible then, at least, minimize all contact with her.

3) Avoid conversations about her -

When you are with your mutual friends, you need to avoid any type of conversation about that girl. Moreover, it is better to separate yourself from your mutual friends for a while.

Just remember that you need to try to avoid any circumstance which reminds you about her.

4) Remove her thoughts from your mind -

It is common to get lots of unwanted thoughts about your ex girlfriend right after a breakup. What you need to do at this situation is not to dwell over past.

If you were happy with her, you would not have to try to get over her.

However, her presence in your life made you feel good, yet the amount of sadness you got from your ex was bigger than the happiness you got from her.

5) Spend more time with your guy friends -

If you have two or three close friends, then forgetting her will be a bit easier. Open your heart in front of your close guy friends. Keeping lots of unwanted, useless and sad emotions inside your heart is not good.

You need to take them out from your heart. Doing so will give you a lot of relief.

However, you should not cry about your relationship with each of your friends.

Moreover, you should avoid taking about emotions to the guy who really don't understand you.

Just do this act with your close friends.

[Michael]

When a relationship reaches a particularly bad end all a guy wants to do is get over their ex girlfriend quickly so that they can move forward with their lives. It can take quite a long time to really get over a girlfriend, especially if you go about the situation in the wrong way. There are many ways to get over your ex-partner, but not all work for everyone. So here is some top tips and advice on how to get over your ex girlfriend fast and effectively.

One thing every guy must know is that it is perfectly natural and okay to be upset and hurt after a breakup. A lot of men think that if they show they are hurt by things then it makes them look weak, but this is just not true. Every human being has emotions and after a breakup these emotions run high. When you hold these emotions back all you are doing is prolonging the time it takes to get over her. So never be afraid to let your emotions show and let it out so that you feel some relief.

There are a few things that men do after a breakup and it doesn't help them towards getting over their ex partner. These are things that you should avoid doing otherwise you could end up looking a bit silly in your ex girlfriends eyes.

The first thing to avoid is making any form of contact with her. This is called the no contact rule and means no phone calls, text messages, emails, social media interaction, anything that will cause you to think about what she is doing. Another thing to avoid is contacting her in the middle of the night because you have gotten drunk and are missing her. To make this work you must do things that will distract your mind from thinking of her, and it may seem easier said than done, but in time you will see distraction is the key to getting over your ex girlfriend a lot faster.

Whilst it is okay to get out and back into socializing after a breakup, it is always recommended not to party too hard. This may not apply to many men, but there are times when a little too much alcohol can lead to doing stupid regretful things. So be sure when you're out partying with friends to keep track of what you're doing so that you don't end up making your breakup situation worse.

One of the top ways to get over your ex girlfriend quickly is to keep yourself busy. When you're in a relationship it can be hard to set aside time for the things that you want to do. Now that you have this time on your hands it's time to put it to good use. If you don't actively look into things to do to fill your time then you are not going to help yourself feel any better any quicker. You may think that you are distracting yourself with the TV and a bottle of beer, but in reality you are just prolonging the time it's going to take to overcome your breakup.

So now is the time to get a pen and paper and start to write down what constructive things you could be doing with your spare time. What hobbies do you enjoy doing? What would you take up as a new hobby that you've not tried before? Sometimes being sociable in the activities you enjoy can also help as you meet new people. Why not try taking a few classes in subjects you are interested in and get to know like-minded people.

Once you have that list of ideas start to schedule your time to fit in at least an hours worth of a particular activity. The more effort you put into finding something to occupy your time and act upon it, the less time you have to think of your ex girlfriend. The great thing about hobbies and new activities is that you have no room in your mind to think of anything else but the task in hand, helping you to get over your breakup faster.

One thing that causes grief for men is going out for a nice time with friends and seeing their ex - leading to unnecessary drama. This is something that many men try to avoid during a recent breakup.

This can be a tricky thing to deal with because your friends want you to get out there with them and have a good time. Instead you feel you have to stay home to avoid seeing your ex. What can you do to help this situation? Well, once you know what it is that you want to do in your spare time and you have joined up to things that you wanted to take part in, you are going to meet a lot of new people. These people can help you to get out there and enjoy yourself without bumping into your ex because you have gone to a different area. Alternatively you can contact some good old friends and arrange to meet with them in an area you know your ex won't be visiting. You don't have to stop socializing at all, but you do need to change the way you do things in order to get over this girl more effectively.

Soon you will be feeling better in yourself and it's at this point in time that you should start thinking about getting back on the dating scene. Even if you are not looking to get into another relationship right now, getting out there and meeting new women will certainly make you feel better. One thing to remember is rebound relationships are never the answer to getting over your ex girlfriend faster. So if you feel as though a girl you meet wants more than a fling, you need to tell her that you're not ready for anything too serious. That way you won't hurt her and you won't be stuck in a situation you really don't want to be in.

[Sammy]

Thank you all for you advice. I will do everything I have learnt here to get over her.