He Said He's Upset Because He Feels Unappreciated

[Nora]

I don't know where I stand can you give me an idea?

We had a great relationship for four years he was telling me that he loves me so much and wants to be with me and talking about the future etc. then with in less than 24 hours said he doesn't think he we should be together anymore, he just wants it to be over, he's really angry with me he feels like a bank because i didn't have a job for two months, and he felt unappreciated because I'm at home and he goes to work.

he said he doesn't want to be around me, then he wants to be around me, he doesn't want to talk to me then he does, he doesn't care then he does, good luck with finding somewhere to live this weekend, thens angry and distant then keeps on trying to talk to me.

i want him to feel appreciated and that i love and care for him. he said he's upset because of the un-appreciation.

please can you advice me Ange thank you.

[Bradwin]

Now on to your situation . ..

Hmm... there is SOMETHING going on here.

This guy sounds pretty volatile and like there is some pretty deep emotional stuff going on.

Now... the fact that you have been living off him for a couple months and that he feels "used" makes sense.

Nobody likes feeling taken advantage of and if he thinks you are living high on the hog off him while he is slaving away at a job he does not like... it is going to build MASSIVE resentment over time.

And his constant flip flopping shows there is still some level of affection or desire there.

So here is what you have to do if you can...


1.... Break up with him.

If he is going back and forth and putting you in limbo... you need to put a stop to that... that means making the hard choice to END the dysfunctional relationship you two have right now.


2... Stop being dependent on him.

I am assuming you have been looking for work... like a lot of other people.

And if you want any chance at all with this man you need to take away his "sugar daddy victim" card asap.

That means you need to move out of the apartment you share... move in with your parents if you need to... and totally separate your financial needs from him.

It is tough... and if you want a chance to make it work with this man this what you have to do.

[Brett]

When he tells you that he doesn't feel a spark anymore the last thing you should do is try and convince him otherwise. If you start pleading your case and trying to explain to him why he should be as wild about you now as he was when you two first got together, he's going to see that as pathetic and desperate. You'll appear to have absolutely no self esteem and men aren't drawn to women like that. You have to handle this as the mature and emotionally strong woman that you are. That means you're going to show the man just watch an amazing catch you really are.

You have to do something that he doesn't expect you to do if you want him to feel captivated by you again. That means you're going to muster up all the self confidence you have and you're going to pull back a bit from him. You have to do this without all the fanfare of making a big announcement about how things are going to change now that you now he's not as into you as he once was. All you're going to do is pull back and let his mind start to wonder what's going on with you. You'll still be as sweet and kind as you always were but you won't be as available or accessible anymore.

Once a woman shows a man that she's not always going to be right there for him, he'll sit up and take more notice of her. He'll learn to appreciate her and everything she brings to his life. Suddenly she's incredibly interesting again because she's just out of his reach. Keeping him on his toes is the way to make him feel a spark again so do that by creating a little distance in a very subtle way. The man won't be able to contain himself as he starts chasing after you again.

[Michael]

Here are some tips to start off in getting him back. The most basic start that you need to find out is why your boyfriend doesn't feel the same anymore. One of the most common signs could be quarrelling more frequently than usual. If both of you have been quarrelling a lot, why is he doing this? Find out the cause that is making him to behave like this.

Once you find out the problem that is making him to feel different in the relationship, work on improving it. While you are trying to get him back to focus on this relationship, you also need to watch your behaviour as well. Being desperate, nagging or pushy will produce adverse impact to win him back. Just continue to keep yourself cool and monitor his behavior towards you.

Sometimes when both parties get too long in a relationship, they need some space and time to be alone. If he is exhibiting signs of frustration recently, learn not to force him to do things that he doesn't like. At this point of time, craving for his attention by crying or quarrelling with him will only make the situation worse.

I often received emails from women asking, "my boyfriend doesn't feel the same anymore because I have changed, what does that mean?" Sometimes, you probably will not know what you have changed. It may be your attitude towards him or even the way you look.