Should I Take Back An Ex-Boyfriend?

[Julia]

I broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years. He has been trying to get back together, however I realize that he is very controlling.

That is the main reason I broke up with him. Yet somehow I am NOT getting over him.

All my girlfriends have told me to quit taking his calls, or reading his texts, but of course I give in and do just that.
Now he is wanting to go out again - he'll take me to the nice restaurant he always refused to go to for two years.

I'm so confused and hurt. Please help?!

[Sammy]

I will can tell you from my experience, there are a LOT of women who find themselves in a situation very similar to yours at one point or another in their lives.

To spell it out for you from the very beginning, I have to agree with your girlfriends on this one.

And to be honest, I am not at all surprised that the feedback from your friends has been unanimous. You obviously have some great friends who care about you deeply.

The difference between you and them, however, is an important one. YOU are the one whose EMOTIONS are involved.

It is natural to have some feelings after sharing part of your life with someone.

It is equally natural to focus on remembering the GOOD times rather than the BAD times.

Especially after a year's worth of water has passed under the bridge, it is hard to re-enact in your mind's eye exactly what it was that caused you to be so sure you wanted to break up when you ended the relationship.

Yet, I am sure you did not take the decision to break up lightly, did you?

That is the first factor that could be causing you to romanticize getting back together at this point in history.

And the more profound reason why you would even be considering the option of returning to a controlling man is a more objective one.

You do not have any other OPTIONS.

Think about it.

If you had a wonderful, caring man in your life who was masculine enough to excite you, would you even be giving your old flame a second thought?

Of course not!

Instead, you would be going on fun adventures with your new man...and likely forgetting completely about that fancy restaurant your ex DID NOT take you to.

To further underscore this point, here's another thing to think about.

Why would your ex suddenly be reappearing in your life a year later?

You got it...HE is currently lacking OPTIONS also.

If you ask me, the concept of the two of you getting back together is the PERFECT recipe for SETTLING.

So what to do?

Well, first make the right decision regarding your ex-controller...I mean, ex-boyfriend...and get an action plan for meeting better men than you've ever met before!

A great way to do that, especially if you are a busy single mum or have a demanding career, is to try ONLINE DATING.

I personally have met some really cool women online, and I will be the first to tell you that you can find someone AMAZING on the dating site of your choice.

Really. It's the 21st century, and having an online profile these days is as natural as having a driver's license or a library card.

Give it a try!

And the more options you have... Well what do you need to go back to an old flame for?

[Julia]

Thank you Sammy for your advice.