I Recently Broke Up With My Boyfriend and My Ex Just Wants To Be Friends

[Nora]

I recently broke up with my boyfriend and my ex just wants to be friends. He said he was concerned that I'm expecting more. I read an article online about when a man blows hot and cold. I convinced him I am fine with being just friends and in fact agree that the break-up was a good idea bt I enjoyed our good times. I saw him a couple of nights ago and he said I looked "well sweet." Is there ANY hope for me? He did stutter a little (possibly because I looked hot and was feeling confident). It's only been 1 month since the break up. I do miss him and would like us to get back together. I appreciate any advice!

[Bradwin]

First you are doing great.

A couple things:

1. It is good you are fine and "OK." with being friends. And that you want to get on with your life. I know it can be difficult "experiencing" the feelings of a break up.The key with getting your "Ex" back is You have to keep your ex on his toes and wondering what the heck you're actually trying to do. As long as he's curious and confused you're doing it right.

2. Yes. There's hope for you, but there's no guarantee. (There's never a guarantee of success in this situation.) The more he sees you out in the world, having fun and not NEEDING him the more subconsciously attracted to you he's going to be. it is always the same in most cases of a break up. It is not until the "Ex" sees their ex-partner having fun, being desired by others, That they realise what, a good thing they had going and it "fires" them up to get their ex back.

Love your"I agree, the breakup was a good idea"bit.

3. That said: Don't actually BE his friend.

If you actually ARE his friend (if he can actually get emotional support from you) there will be no actual need for him to come back to you.

Why would he buy the cow if he gets the emotional milk and possible sex for free?

Like I like to say "The only way to get him back is to let him go and "Focus" on Your Life!"

So keep doing what you're doing. Take care of yourself. Date other guys. And just to let him know how happy and stable you are. Then occasionally send him a message that confuses the heck of him and starts re-establishing emotional hooks.

Oh, and whatever you do DO NOT SLEEP WITH A GUY YOU WANT TO GET BACK.

Seriously, if you do that you will kill your chances. If a guy feels like he can have sex with you without having to commit into an actual relationship he'll see no need at all to even consider starting your relationship up again.

If you really want him back Krystel, then make it so that "he" has to win you again, date you again, romance you again.

Be the "PRIZE" he has to "Win!"

Let Me know how it goes from here.

[Ella]

I get asked this question a lot and over the years that I have coached people to attract back their ex, I've quite a lot of excellent advice on the topic.

If your ex is open to spending time together (or going out on dates), keep it friendly but do not offer "Let's to be just friends" in the hope that your ex will think "Oh! You are so wonderful. I want you back!" Even with your other friends you are not romantically involved with, you didn't go up to them and say, "Let's be friends". The friendship kind of happened naturally over a period of time.

When you say to your ex "let's just be friends" he or she might assume that all you really want is to be "friends" and this will later on make it so hard to ask them if they want to get back together without your ex feeling "tricked". Be friendly but don't offer to be "just a friend". You want more than that -- so set your eyes on the goal.

If your ex offers to be friends for a start, don't get all worked up because of all the information you read about how it is impossible to transition from friends to lovers. It may just be that he or she is not yet ready to quickly jump into a situation that may cause hurt again. For now, accept that friendship is all your ex has to offer you. Being friends means that the door is still open for you. If the door remains open your ex may one day come back in. Instead of getting all stressed, worried and frustrated with his or her decision to be friends to begin with, look at this as an opportunity for you to prove to your ex that you are indeed a different and improved person.

The greatest loves are built on strong friendships. If you're not friends, and best friends at that, then the relationship won't stand all the other problems that come with living with someone else.

Just make sure that it's clear to your ex that the reason you are together again is to try and become lovers again. Say something along these lines:

"You know how I feel about you and that I want us to be more than just friends, but if being friends for a start will bring us closer, I am willing and ready to give this relationship all I got. Let's see if by keeping in regular contact and spending some time together, we can rekindle what we had when we first met. I think that this might be some of the best times we've shared in a long time."

This way, your ex knows that you'd rather be back together immediately but you are not going to rush him or her into anything he or she isn't ready for yet. But more importantly it gives a promise of something your ex can look forward to.

If your ex begins to object to keeping in regular contact and spending some time together to try to rekindle the love you had then you know that saying he or she wants to be friends for a start was just a polite way of saying. "I am not interested in you romantically, but I'd like us to be friends."

On the other hand, if your ex agrees to your proposition, accept being friends for a start and make the most of it. Take advantage of this opportunity to showcase all the changes you've made since the two of you broke up. This is when you do all those important things that will cause your ex to rethink "being friends" and open up the possibility of something more. The goal for you is to fan the feelings of "liking" and edge them towards the limits of the "just friends zone" to the realm of romantic feelings.

If you do this right, you are half way to being back together -- and it'll kind of happen naturally over a period of time. No sweating it and no forcing it. Nothing could be easier.

[Michael]

You want him back but unsure if he feels the same? It's easy to know if he does. Just watch out for these signs your ex still wants you back. If he's manifesting these signs then it may definitely not be hopeless for the two of you.

#1 He keeps in constant contact

You don't have to see each other to know if he still likes you. If he initiates the communication between the two of you may it be through phone, email or a text message, it shows that he wants to know what's going on with your life. It may also mean that he wants you to feel that he's always there for you.

#2 He smiles when he talks to you

It's all about the facial expression. Observe how he acts when he's talking to other women. If your ex looks at you and you alone with that happy expression in his face it means that he loves talking to you. He may definitely care for you if he does.

#3 During conversations, he'd remind you about the memories you share

Unconsciously when you talk to each other he'd connect the conversation with something that happened to the two of you. He's reminding how much fun you had together. Resurfacing memories is an indication that he wants you to remember how good it is to be in a relationship with him.

#4 He asks your friends about you

Sometimes, friends are great avenues when we want to know certain information but are too shy to ask that person directly. If your ex is asking questions to your friends about you and your relationship status then he is most likely still interested.

There are other signs your ex still wants you back but these four are enough to be able to tell if you still have a chance of being together again. The great thing about them is that they are easy to distinguish too.

[Nora]

Thank you everyone for your advice.

[ElizabethKovar]

You want him back but unsure if he feels the same? It's easy to know if he does. Just watch out for these signs your ex still wants you back. If he's manifesting these signs then it may definitely not be hopeless for the two of you.

#1 He keeps in constant contact

You don't have to see each other to know if he still likes you. If he initiates the communication between the two of you may it be through phone, email or a text message, it shows that he wants to know what's going on with your life. It may also mean that he wants you to feel that he's always there for you.

#2 He smiles when he talks to you

It's all about the facial expression. Observe how he acts when he's talking to other women. If your ex looks at you and you alone with that happy expression in his face it means that he loves talking to you. He may definitely care for you if he does.

#3 During conversations, he'd remind you about the memories you share

Unconsciously when you talk to each other he'd connect the conversation with something that happened to the two of you. He's reminding how much fun you had together. Resurfacing memories is an indication that he wants you to remember how good it is to be in a relationship with him.

#4 He asks your friends about you

Sometimes, friends are great avenues when we want to know certain information but are too shy to ask that person directly. If your ex is asking questions to your friends about you and your relationship status then he is most likely still interested.

There are other signs your ex still wants you back but these four are enough to be able to tell if you still have a chance of being together again. The great thing about them is that they are easy to distinguish too.

Good answer!!