Depression & cheating

[sadpanda16]

Hi,

I'm desperate for some advice. I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years by locking him out of the flat and proceeded by cheating on him the day after. We got back together (for almost a year now) but he's totally done since I've made no effort to fix it. I have absolutely no sex drive, I'm clinically depressed, no friends to ask advice and have no idea on how or what to do. I would like to be a real girlfriend again. But I don't know where to begin. Everything feels fake. Right now he's like my carer and I am an empty soul.

P.s. my reasons for cheating (in my head) was everything wrong in my life was his fault. I wanted to leave him forever and sleeping with someone else was an image of a new start with no turning back. I do love him but the depression takes all my feelings away except constant sadness or nothingness. I am trying different things for treating it but right now not much is changing.

Thanks for reading

[Olivia]

If you are feeling a disconnect from your partner, you are probably longing for the man he was when you first met. We all do this I believe. The man that wowed us in the beginning when he was trying to win us seems to have disappeared. No flowers, romantic dinners or weekends. No afternoon phone calls saying he is thinking of you. The romance is gone. So how can you rekindle your relationship?

Men want to feel like the hero. Men need to feel like men. They also need to feel they are making us happy. You of course could go into therapy but that takes time and puts on pressure. You want to take the pressure off and allow him to feel like a man again.

What I am going to suggest is an different romance idea. You cell phone is your quickest easiest way to rekindle your relationship fast. A text message. Before you click off of this article, I hope you will hear me out. A text message can act as a huge trigger. You have heard of Pavlov's dog and triggers right? That is what I am going to suggest you do with text messages. Create positive triggers for your partner that inspire him to naturally rekindle the romance.

I know this works. I am queen of the text message. I learned it from a few very skilled partners over the last few years. I had a long term relationship with a man who never texted me boring mundane things. He was always pushing my emotional buttons in text messages and had a way to get me going. I had a ring tone assigned to him. Anytime I heard that ring tone, eventually my heart skipped a beat. The ring tone was a trigger. I would feel euphoric when I heard it. It only makes sense that texting is a huge romance idea or way to get romance back.

This trigger changed when we broke up. Then if and when he texted of called, the trigger changed to deep sadness. Triggers are powerful and can bring about some deep emotions. If you want to know how to rekindle your relationship fast, start creating positive triggers with your text messages.

No more texting him mundane details. No more asking him to stop for milk or bread or asking him when is he coming home. Use texts messages for positive things. Make him feel like a man with your text messages. The first text that I suggest you send is this. "I can't stop thinking about you today". Wait and see where he takes this message. You can gently lead him in the right direction and have him thinking some pretty good thoughts about you with this message. Send it out of the blue, maybe the middle of the day.

I never asked my significant other when is he getting off work. I have him trained now. I would text "When are you getting off?". After much practice and now that his triggers are set, he always comes back with something spicy and often very romantic or sexy. He has learned to read into my texts because I have set the triggers.

[Bill]

In any relationship between man and woman, some excitement or passion is needed to keep the fire going. Humans are created with needs and feelings that are constantly changing; hence, to keep the flame in their relationship, couples resort to different activities or solutions, however simple they can be.

Sexy Lingerie
With the many distractions the world is offering to married men and women today, one needs to stay on top of the game in their relationship. There are dangerous and risky ways to go about it but there are many safe ways to enhance a relationship between couples; one of which is just the simple but sexy lingerie.

Just a simple garment like a piece of sexy lingerie can help the couple change their daily routine to enjoy a change in their life and spice up their relationship. This is a good and simple change as respect and trust can be maintained for one another; hence, their relationship is more solid. For if there is no trust or trust is broken between couples, the relationship is also broken. It is very hard to rebuild trust in a relationship even if they still love one another.

Instead of seeking a third party, the couple can engage in some make believe or fantasy that is not too extreme to enjoy their curiosity and potential. This allows a release of the inner desires in a healthy manner than to seek outside pleasures that can damage or hurt a relationship.

Rekindle the flame
To maintain a healthy and strong relationship, a couple has to put in effort and time; nothing comes easy or free but it does not need to cost much to build a strong and lasting relationship between 2 persons. A little quality time together does wonders to an ailing relationship which can rekindle the love and passion that brought the two together in the first place.

Today's busyness can steer a couple in opposite directions or in a tangent path if they are not careful. When one is too busy with his career or other passion such as hobbies, the relationship will be at stake. A relationship needs time and care to be built up and maintained in good condition. Each partner has to do their part in building and maintaining the relationship if they are serious about each other and what they first felt towards one another.

Commitment
Commitment is a key factor in a relationship; commitment takes time as well as the effort of both husband and wife or partners to work on their relationship so that they can enjoy each other's company. Hence, a simple kind deed or good word can build up the other from a spouse which in turn builds up the relationship. Everyone has an emotional quotient to be filled which gets depleted over time. A kind deed or good word fills up the emotional quotient of the spouse to stay faithful to the other. This is a worthwhile practice on a daily measure if a strong and good relationship is desired between 2 parties.