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I'm now 32 and last year I was seeing a guy for 9 months. We both had been single for a few years prior to this. We're both the type who isn't afraid of being alone until the right person comes along. He was studying and living about 2 hours away. I broke it off because I felt like he didn't make enough time for me. He had to work all summer to pay for fees etc. I broke it off over the phone. He was absolutely shocked as he had thought we had a future together. I regretted my decision soon after, and tried to get him back. He said he couldn't go back and feared that I would do the same thing somewhere down the line. And he wasn't willing to take the risk, especially with so much at stake with Uni. I text him and emailed him a really long message once after that but he didn't replay. In the new year, I text again this time he replied saying that he was on placement, and apologized for not responding, stating that it was his way of moving on. I found out from a friend that he had dated a girl for a few months later, but there wasn't enough there to start a relationship.
He went away to a different country on placement, and when he returned six months later he text. He said he just wanted to know how things were going for me, and he wanted to give me his new number in case I had been trying to get in contact with him again. I told him that I hadn't planned to get back in contact after I heard from him, and that he was moving on. I realized that I had to do the same. He replied saying that he didn't know if he had moved on. I told him to be upfront and tell me why he had really contacted me. He asked if he could ring me, and I said yes. He rang and told me he had finished his course and wasn't going to do an add-on year. He said was going to do some traveling, and that his buddy was thinking about going with him. He said that while he was away he had thought about ways of making things better for us, like moving to where I lived, but then he wouldn't be fully happy. I didn't tell him that I had had the same thoughts. I just listened to him. i had already said enough in my emails. He also said that it was really difficult for him to read it. He asked me what I doing and if I had decided to return to Uni again. I told him that I had plans to travel around South America for a few months.
After I told him this, the conversation came to an end quicker than expected. He said if he didn't see me before I went, (there was never any talk about us considering to meet up), to have a safe trip.
I text and said that conversation was as hard as the day I had met him in an attempt to apologize for what I had done over the phone. I asked him to be truthful about why he was back in contact. I was honest saying I still thought about me every day, and added that it seems that little had changed for him.
He said he was sorry for being in contact, and did a full 360 saying it was sad things didn't work but he guessed he had come to accept it. Also, adding that maybe my traveling will help things for me. I told him to not contact me again, but soon realized that I was overdramatic. I wrote back saying I don't want to leave things on bad terms and if we were ever to cross paths I hoped it would be on good terms. I wished him the best and left it at that. He replied saying that it meant a lot to him. He added that he wanted to know how I was and will always hope I'm doing well. He wished me a safe trip.
This was a month ago, I'm really trying to put it all to the back of my mind, but part of me wants to text him and ask him to meet up before we both go traveling to see if maybe we really are meant to be together. Friends tell me not to, as though this guy had cheated on me or was the one who broke it off. Most believe he should have taken me back. On the other hand, being as sensitive a character as him, I'm not sure I would have taken him back for fear of it being down again considering there was still two years left of Uni. My head, or pride. is telling me to stand leave well alone, that deep down I broke it off for a reason. And then my heart is telling me that maybe I expected it all to be all so perfect, and was being impatient.
Do I hold out and stay away, despite the daily internal conflict a of wanting to write to him and meet him before we both go traveling? Even before he got in contact. I was still always thinking about him, but was just waiting for it to pass. I had hoped that traveling may help. Although, for whatever reason it didn't seem to help him. If he had just text asking how I was, without entertaining my comment about knowing I'd hear from him again when he had moved on, maybe I'd have felt different. The worse part, is that I know exes, especially guys, don't get in contact because they want to know how you're doing as though you were friends for life.
He went away to a different country on placement, and when he returned six months later he text. He said he just wanted to know how things were going for me, and he wanted to give me his new number in case I had been trying to get in contact with him again. I told him that I hadn't planned to get back in contact after I heard from him, and that he was moving on. I realized that I had to do the same. He replied saying that he didn't know if he had moved on. I told him to be upfront and tell me why he had really contacted me. He asked if he could ring me, and I said yes. He rang and told me he had finished his course and wasn't going to do an add-on year. He said was going to do some traveling, and that his buddy was thinking about going with him. He said that while he was away he had thought about ways of making things better for us, like moving to where I lived, but then he wouldn't be fully happy. I didn't tell him that I had had the same thoughts. I just listened to him. i had already said enough in my emails. He also said that it was really difficult for him to read it. He asked me what I doing and if I had decided to return to Uni again. I told him that I had plans to travel around South America for a few months.
After I told him this, the conversation came to an end quicker than expected. He said if he didn't see me before I went, (there was never any talk about us considering to meet up), to have a safe trip.
I text and said that conversation was as hard as the day I had met him in an attempt to apologize for what I had done over the phone. I asked him to be truthful about why he was back in contact. I was honest saying I still thought about me every day, and added that it seems that little had changed for him.
He said he was sorry for being in contact, and did a full 360 saying it was sad things didn't work but he guessed he had come to accept it. Also, adding that maybe my traveling will help things for me. I told him to not contact me again, but soon realized that I was overdramatic. I wrote back saying I don't want to leave things on bad terms and if we were ever to cross paths I hoped it would be on good terms. I wished him the best and left it at that. He replied saying that it meant a lot to him. He added that he wanted to know how I was and will always hope I'm doing well. He wished me a safe trip.
This was a month ago, I'm really trying to put it all to the back of my mind, but part of me wants to text him and ask him to meet up before we both go traveling to see if maybe we really are meant to be together. Friends tell me not to, as though this guy had cheated on me or was the one who broke it off. Most believe he should have taken me back. On the other hand, being as sensitive a character as him, I'm not sure I would have taken him back for fear of it being down again considering there was still two years left of Uni. My head, or pride. is telling me to stand leave well alone, that deep down I broke it off for a reason. And then my heart is telling me that maybe I expected it all to be all so perfect, and was being impatient.
Do I hold out and stay away, despite the daily internal conflict a of wanting to write to him and meet him before we both go traveling? Even before he got in contact. I was still always thinking about him, but was just waiting for it to pass. I had hoped that traveling may help. Although, for whatever reason it didn't seem to help him. If he had just text asking how I was, without entertaining my comment about knowing I'd hear from him again when he had moved on, maybe I'd have felt different. The worse part, is that I know exes, especially guys, don't get in contact because they want to know how you're doing as though you were friends for life.
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