Eight years, a move to a new state, and the same feelings....

[Fireball2017]

So let's start this by sayingp I am the guy in this relationship....
Ýys
This story is so long it could be a lifetime movie, problem is, as one of the main characters, I have no idea how the movie will end.

I want to lay everything one the table, but it really is a 8 year story....ill try to write a small summary...

So I am 32, she is 30. I have two children from a previous marriage the do not live with us. She has 2 children from a previous relationship that DO live with us....

We met at a very young age she was 6, i was 8. We were friends all the way until i left for college. Never anything more than that. Life finally pulled us apart we lost contact and we went on with life. Fast forward to 2007, life brought me back to the area where I was raised and we actually bumped into each other and we got really close really fast. Now I think it's also worth noting that at that time I was still married, unhappily but still married.

We continued to see each other ongoing for months....things never got better with my now ex wife and she relocated. My relationship got stronger and stronger with my girl now.....i was introduced to her children and I began to build a relationship with them as well...

Now we will jup ahead to 2012. We had been exclusive for about 3 years now, we had our ups and downs like any other couple would. But one of our close friends or at least who I thought was our close friends allowed himself to get a little to close to her. And she allowed him the same. That lasted six months.... Once the cat was out of the bag and everyone knew that everyone knew she stood firm that they never did anything sexual....dates, hand holding, that kinda thing but never anything past that.

Considering I loved here and the terms that was first started talking I decided I was going to forgive and move on with her, plus I knew I was developing a very strong relationship with her kids and I loved them as well....

Jumping again to 2013.... we are at a work fuction at a place where she's works and one of her co-workers text me saying....you should tell your girl to stop sending pictures of herself to people? I got up and walked over to her away from everyone as calm as I could and said to her, I need you to be honest with me, are you sending naked pictures of yourself to other guys, she's answered right to my face No, I would never do that.....i showed her the message and the picture.....she had nothing to say.... I told her we would talk later because I was at a work fuction and that was not the place.....i put a smile on and walked away.... that ended I tears and excuses, yet I forgave again and we moved on.

In 2016 my job sent me away....only 4 hours north but four hours... I lived alone for 7 months why she got herself and the kids ready and they moved up. They have been here about 2 months now and now I find myself in a situation.....

I'm not happy.... I don't know why, but I'm not....and there are several reasons I feel like I just can't end it... first and most important.... the kids are here. I am the best thing that has ever happened to these kids aside from their mother. Ever the kids natural fathers mother will tell you that.....and despite all that I love them.....id feel like an butt saying to them my being happy is more important to me than you are. Second they just moved almost 300 miles away from home. If be a jerk saying you need to go back to you moms I don't want you here just as they are getting unpacked. My granmom thought me to treat other how you want to be treated and I wouldn't want anyone doing that to me..... finally I'm not sure if I love her or not, I'm scared to let her go, what if I do love her and don't realize it? What if I let her go and it's the biggest mistake of my life......

If I let her go how do I do it? We have so much intertwined it's not like I can drive her home drop her off say I'm going to the store and never come back Lol. Can I????? Nah I'm joking I'd never do that... but really what do I do?

****PS sorry this is 10x longer than I wanted and in sure there are a ton of typos......hopefully you get the point******

[Rob]

I understand exactly how you feel, and the reason you feel this way is because of the things she did in the past. You actually though you have forgiven her, but you never realized you haven't forgiven her.

The fact is that, the things she had done in the past will continue to hurt your feelings, and most likely your relationship with her isn't going to work out anymore.

Now you are unhappy, you can only be happy again only if you breakup with her. So, be a MAN an do what you have to do.

[Rachael]

Sure, you aren't happy anymore and not sure if you still love her. It will be best if you breakup with her, because you will be treating her bad if you don't. Regardless of how hard you try to hide your unhappiness from her, she will still notice you are acting differently.

So, if you still keep her around, you are going to start hurting her and eventually make her unhappy.

[Fireball2017]

I guess the question that remains is what about the kids, I grew up without a father.....it was tough.... a fate I wouldn't ask for any child...her children call me daddy.....i would feel like a heartless pos just walking away from them..... how do that and look myself in the mirror knowing that I did the same thing my deadbeat father did.....leave children in this world without the father figure the need to grow up the right way?

[Rob]

I guess the question that remains is what about the kids, I grew up without a father.....it was tough.... a fate I wouldn't ask for any child...her children call me daddy.....i would feel like a heartless pos just walking away from them..... how do that and look myself in the mirror knowing that I did the same thing my deadbeat father did.....leave children in this world without the father figure the need to grow up the right way?

The children you are talking about aren't even your biological children, so why should you care much. I'm not saying you shouldn't be nice to them, but this is about their mother and not them. If anyone should care about the children that much, their biological father is suppose to be the one to do that. Your happiness is more important here!

[Tina]

I completely agree with what Rob said. You have 2 biological children, and so your love is suppose to be for them. You had a romantic relationship with their mother and not them.