Will he come back?

[16cel]

So my boyfriend and I well ex boyfriend now were dating for a total of a little over 3 years. Last November he left the college we attended due to not being able to get a cosigner for his loan (a very unfortunate situation)..anyway a few days after he had left out of nowhere he blocked me on all social media and my phone number without telling me he no longer wanted to be in a relationship. About a month had gone by and I was coming home for winter break. The day I came home he had called me on my phone and I pretty much thought it was the closure I was looking for after being together about 2 and a half years at this point. Two days later we ended up texting and meeting up ever since that day we had been back together up until a few days ago. Things in my opinion were really good until a week prior to this most recent break up. We were looking into getting a place together, we had recently got a phone plan together too. So about a week before this break up happened he had been acting weird and distant I confronted him about it and he just kept saying "I don't know" repeatedly. He wouldn't give me much of any answer. He then told me he wasn't happy anymore but said and promised it wasn't me or because of me. The following day he apologized and told me he wasn't going anywhere and that we were OK. Fast forward to two days before we broke up, we had a small argument over texting and he told me to stop calling him babe when we are arguing and to stop texting him....this took me by surprise and obviously really hurt. Later that day we had the most perfect night I truly felt like everything was back to normal and things were looking up and we truly were fine. The next day (day before breakup) we went to lunch and I said I just feel like I am just bothering you with everything I am doing and he said "I never said that did I". I took this as him being passive aggressive. Anyway that night he went to work and everything seemed fine prior but then when we were texting he was being so short I could almost tell it was coming. I was even considering breaking up with him because I couldn't stand him being this unhappy. The next morning he came to my house after he got off work and I just started crying when he walked into my room, he asked what was wrong and I told him how I felt and how I didn't want to lose him. He told me we would talk when he got up. So we did..I started the conversation I was in full tears 1 minuet in, he just looked upset and his head hanging. I said I feel like you're pushing me away so I will break up with you and asked if he wanted me to break up with him and he said no. But then proceeded to say that he just doesn't want to be in a relationship at this point in his life. So of course completely taken back I questioned it and ask what he can do in our relationship that he will be able to when he's single and he said nothing. (mind you he isn't the type to just go out and have hook-ups etc.)....he left we said we loved each other and that was it......Yesterday we met up went out for a little while although he told a mutual friend he was just hanging out with me to get his things back, in my opinion if I just wanted my things back and was truly done with someone I wouldn't spend 5 plus hours with somebody but who knows maybe that's just me. Anyway I tried bringing up getting back together and his mood changed in seconds and he got really pissed off and short with me when I brought it up. So I changed the subject but everything else felt so normal, I didn't feel different or awkward everything still felt so right. When he took me back to my car I asked him to spend the night and he said no because he was going to a friends place. We hugged and said our goodbyes. I texted him and thanked him for going with me, I said sorry for bringing it up, and that I loved him. He said it's okay. I asked him to not shut me out completely and he said he wouldn't I told him i'd try my best to give him the space he's asking for and he said okay, and then I asked if I should cancel the Florida trip we partially booked for next summer and he said "Idk" to me that means he thinks we may get back together. but I just said ok I'll see what happens a go from there and he said ok, and then I said to have a goodnight and he said okay goodnight. I asked him if he thought there was a future with us together and he said "Idk it happened before".....
I am trying to figure out if he's going to come back or is he really done with me??

[Brett]

You could beg and plead and try to convince him to come back, but those things don't work. If he does come back after you do that, chances are he is doing it out of guilt and not because he feels it in his heart. If and when you get him back, you want him to walk back into your life of his own free will because only then will you know he is doing it because he truly loves you. If you are begging and pleading, stop this immediately, this only pushes him further away. This will not get your ex back.

The best tactic is to let his imagination work in your favor. You have to stop thinking about instant gratification, in other words what will give you relief now and start thinking about what you want long term. Pull yourself together and stop calling, emailing, texting and do not show up on his doorstep. When you do these things it tells him you are needy and he feels responsible for your happiness. This is too much. Will you get him back like this? The answer is no and you don't want him back like this.

Pull yourself together and stop all contact. He is not going to forget about you if you don't communicate. This is where his imagination kicks in. You will be doing the opposite of what he expects and he will begin to wonder what you are doing and is it possible that you have moved on. His imagination at this point is your best tool to get your ex back..

98% of the time he is going to contact you again. Be ready for this. Don't show emotion, act happy and do not bring up the past and how he hurt you. Remain neutral. Do not even mention the relationship and if he brings it up, act noncommittal. Just say I really don't feel a need to talk about that right now. That will throw him for a loop. Now you may be dying inside, but this is going to create a lot of thoughts in his mind and entice him to call again for more information. You just do this again on the next call and this is when he will make his move if he is coming back. This behavior is what will draw him back to you. If you act emotional, its just going to reinforce all of his fears and validate that him leaving was the right thing to do.

[16cel]

I haven't texted/called since, I planned on waiting until next month when the phone bill is due to reach out and tell him so, do I mention possibly getting dinner or do I simply just ask to meet to get the money for the bill?

[Olivia]

You can usually multi-task while thinking, but when your ex leaves you there is only one thing on your mind. You probably feel that you want him back, but at the same time you are angry he left you. You probably miss him being there, but at the same time hate him for what he has done to you. The main thing here is you're not going to forget about him right away, you need time to let the heartbreak heal.

Will he come back to you? You're probably hoping and praying that he does come back to once again be your boyfriend and lover. If this is the case then you need to use every weapon available to you. Don't be desperate or needy in wanting him back, at least don't let him see it. Otherwise, he might come back to you but for the wrong reasons. Usually guilt and pity. Needless to say, a relationship built around that will not last. He must come back to you of his own reasoning. He should be feeling that he needs to be in your company rather than the other way round.

Here's a little secret I want to share: Don't do what you think you need to do to satisfy your need to get him back. Do the exact opposite instead. For instance if you want to contact him or just find out if he's okay, don't! Just ignore him completely so that he thinks you don't care. This is called the no contact method and is a major part in getting your ex back in any situation.

This is going to have a profound effect on him: He wont be able to help himself and will be overcome with curiosity as to what you are doing. He might be thinking things like "I wonder what she's doing? Where she is? Why does she keep going out all the time?" This will only lead him to try to solve these mysteries by contacting you.

Do not worry, a lot of girls think that if they ignore their ex after a breakup they will push him further away or even lose him: This is not the case. He isn't just going to forget about what you guys had, especially when you are causing all this curiosity and mysteriousness. As I said before, he is likely to want to contact you so don't be surprised if he does. Just keep a level head and play it cool. Don't show him how happy you are that he called, and even go as far as sounding a bit distant and not really interested as you have better things to be doing in getting on with life.

[16cel]

I haven't texted/called since, I planned on waiting until next month when the phone bill is due to reach out and tell him so, do I mention possibly getting dinner or do I simply just ask to meet to get the money for the bill?