I cheated, and I regretted

[xiaobai]

I had a boyfriend of 2 years. I did adore him, love him, but sometimes I felt like he didnt give me enough attention. I talked to him several times about it, like how I would be sleeping while he is awake, and him to be awake while I was sleeping. After some time, I got to know a guy through a mutual friend and because we always hung out together in the same group, I slowly developed some feelings for him. He made me happy and he made me laugh, I felt like this was the kind of relationship I wanted. I couldnt help it, I couldnt stop myself from falling deeper, and ultimately I cheated. I felt unfair to my then boyfriend, I came clean and told him we should breakup. Throughout that time, he changed totally. He was the most loving and doting guy I have ever seen, driving an hour to my house everyday just so to send me to work which was 15minutes away. He showered all his attention on me, even though he knew I was still in contact with the other guy. He told me to give him another chance and seeing all those changes and effort, I did. But at the same time, I felt for the other guy and that was why I ended up seeing both guys at the same time. I tried to make things work with my boyfriend and end things with the other guy, but he would cry, and then I would, too. Months later after dating both sides, I was emotionally drained, I was stressed out from both guys being paranoid, sensitive and I couldnt bear hurting either. My boyfriend also talked about getting a flat at this point of time which greatly stressed me out. One was my boyfriend of 2 years, he was mature and down to earth, who treated me so well, who my family and relatives loved. The other one, gave me so much happiness and was like a naive innocent boy. In the end, I brokeup again, for good. I have hurt my boyfriend so much throughout the past torturous months when he knew I was in contact with him, and with my heart there with him, I treated my boyfriend coldly without much attention, less say love. He gave up, cried, and left. Now it has been 2 months and I deeply regret it, 2 weeks prior, I met him and ended up crying, asking for a chance to make things work. He told me he moved on and that he has someone else in his heart, although they are not together. I find it hard to believe, I dont even believe it but, seeing the guy who once loved me so dearly just sitting there and watching me cry without wiping my tears, a part of me broke. A part of me realise that maybe, he has really moved on. Since then, we havent been in contact since. I just want to know, anyone had similar experiences? What did you all do? Did you guys manage to be friends? Did you try to get him back? Any successful endings?

[Ashley]

If you have ever wanted to discover a simple, actionable, do-this-do-that system to apply to get your boyfriend back after you cheated on him, the following tips will be of immense help. Several women have used these tips to win back the man they truly love. Follow the same simple techniques and be happy again.

Start by cutting off all contacts with the other guy and if possible, blacklist his phone number from the list of contacts. Be bold enough to tell him never to call you again. You must be willing to let go of some of your privacy at this time to assure your boyfriend that you have cut of all contacts with every other man and you are no longer cheating on him.

Learn to adjust your attitude from today to expect the best from your relationship. Do not dwell on the negative aspects of your cheating and you will be able to easily win your boyfriend back.

Accept responsibility for your actions and apologize. Let him know that you will not cheat on him again in words and deeds. This is not the time to waste your energy begging for forgiveness. This is the time to be calm and calculative and strategize on the best way to win back his love.

[David]

When your boyfriend finds out you've cheated you're going to have to give him a little time to come to terms with it. Men and women see cheating a little bit differently. Women often blame themselves when men cheat. Men are more likely to blame you.

You can apologize all you want but your boyfriend is going to need a little time and space in order to come to terms with the fact that you've cheated. It's going to take a little more time for to convince him that you really do want him even though you've cheated. But, why does he need this space?

1) His pride is wounded and it takes time to heal. Even beyond hurt feelings and a potentially broken heart, wounded pride is difficult for a man. Men need to feel as though they are giving you everything you need. Despite the swagger of most men they need constant reassurance that you admire them. Cheating on him with another man doesn't send that important signal. Give him a little time to really remember all the ways you've shown him your admiration during your relationship.

2) His heart is broken. By cheating on him you've hurt him deeply. Men may not wear their feelings on their sleeves like some women do but that doesn't mean they aren't deeply affected and hurt by the fact that you've cheated. He's going to need a little time to come to terms with the pain and he isn't going to want you to see him cry. He will want to save face to some degree so the time and space you give him will allow him that opportunity.

3) He needs time to sort through his emotions and decide whether or not his love for you is strong enough to override his feelings of betrayal. Love can conquer many things but it has to be stronger than those things in order to do it. This is something he needs to decide for himself and won't be able to decide if you're constantly there confronting him with not only your desire to work things out but also his feelings of hurt and anger.

4) He needs a little taste of life without you. No matter how much he loves you or how much he believes he wants to work it out if there are any doubts being without your constant presence and reassurance in his life will be the deciding factor.

[Caleb]

Pull yourself out of the doldrums and make a plan to get your ex boyfriend back. Here are some simple tips to help you get your ex boyfriend back even if he has moved on to another woman.

1 - First, you must examine the way your ex boyfriend thinks and find a way to attract him back to you. There are a number of options to get him interested in you again. One is to remember back to what got him interested in you in the first place. Was it how nice you were to him? How much you made over him? Did you cook for him or was it the fact that you two went out and had a good time?

2 - One thing that you must learn to do is to be friends with him, like you were at the beginning of the relationship. It may be very hard to do especially if he is seeing another woman, but if you really want him back you must grit your teeth and do it. Be nice, friendly and genuinely caring toward him. Men hate drama, so do not be the drama queen. Joke around and have fun when you talk or see each other. Keep the conversation interesting and light. Once the drama and emotions have subsided from the break up, he may realize he wants you back.

3 - When you do communicate with your ex boyfriend, be kind and nice but do not act needy. It is okay to have a little attitude to show him that you have accepted the break up and you are okay with it (even if it still hurts, do not show it). Make it seem that you are a little hard to get but still open to communications. This is a process and not an overnight transition of "well, he is back."

4 - As you are playing a little hard to get, make sure that he knows that you are still available. It is a delicate balancing act. It is okay to be somewhat flirtatious with other men as a little jealousy may peak his interest in you again. Men never want a woman that other men do not want. At the same time, be careful with this. If taken overboard, it could backfire and drive him farther away. You want him to think that others are pursuing you, so he will want to chase you too.

5 - Do not act clingy or desperate. If your ex boyfriend sees desperation in you, then he will not take your feelings toward him seriously. Be cool and let him know that you accept the break up and are willing to move on. This may make him take another look at what he is missing in you and the relationship. He may not want to "let go" forever.

6 - When in your ex boyfriend's presence and he is looking at you or you think that he is looking at you, look back at him out of the corner of your eye. This side glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but you are a little mysterious. Men like a woman that is a little mysterious and intriguing. Give him the "you want me but cannot have me...maybe" look.

7 - Hint at some of the "good times" that the two of you had before. Do not be over-bearing about the past relationship, but casually remind him of the "good times" that you know he enjoyed with you. Do not be vindictive or hurtful by bringing up any of the bad times, as this will not make him want you back.