Stuck in a big mess..advice needed!

[Missunknown]

I met my partner 7 years ago i was 20 he was 25, we met at work but worked in different departments.
The attraction was instant and we had our first date the connection and chemistry was just insane. After the date i found out he had a little boy aged 2 i asked him he said sorry i didnt tell you i thought it would put you off which in honesty it did but i really liked him and continued to date him. He lived at his mums as he didn't live with the baby mother anymore and i went and stayed at his mums several times then all of a sudden it stopped apparently i wasn't allowed to go there anymore as she heard us in bed! After 8 months he just came to my house i lived with my mum at the time but he only come about 930 at night as he put his kid to bed everynight at the exs house. I didnt like it but i had no reason not to trust him at the time and i thought he was being a good father to him. A year past i get a message from his ex stating they've been together for a while and he moved back in with her..i was devastated so shocked that he would lie all that time about his daily life. I ended it 6 months pass he started messaging me saying how sorry he is that he only moved back in for his son and there just faking being a family for him. Anyway i ended up getting back with him( he went back to his mums) still he was going there every night putting his kid to bed so obviously i was getting paranoid i started checking all her social media and his families so id know if there back together and catch him out. She never posted pics of him or them together before not even one! I moved out of my mums at 25 to my own place i thought this would be perfect for us he could eventually move in etc. Nope he didnt even STAY the night i know im a MUG but the excuses and charm this man has you'd believe it.we started trying for a baby for 1.5 years nothing was happening so i went to the drs nothing seemed to be wrong with me had tests done i was devastated, worried sick that i couldnt get pregnant and he was comforting me. Last October 2016 on ny birthday i got a text from her saying there together and shes had another baby with him!!!! The baby was 10months!!!! I was absolutely distrout heartbroken no words could of described the pain i was in. And to add i asked why wasnt i getting pregnant he said he done the pull out method with me. NUTS!! I was a wreck he was non stop ringing me trying to apologize etc. I spoke with the ex explained everything so did she. He said he was blackmailed into having another baby with her as she wanted a sibling for there son and his kid wanted a sibling. Just laughable!! Anyway muggings here still forgave him cos i want a baby still no baby..i went on a date in march while i was still sleeping with him and i got caught as he dropped me off. He was waiting outside my door! I dont trust him at all his lived a double life for 6 years and now his making out im crazy and nuts because im constantly accusing him off stuff. Im even having nightmares about him doing it again to me. I have always been txying other men but havent met any of them. Im trying to maybe move on but i keep getting pulled back in its like i can't be without him. Now his the one saying im nuts and crazy cos i keep on at him!!! Obviously there bits missing as i could write a book on this relationship

[Missunknown]

We are over final! Brining up stuff a year ago or more is that not insane i said delete it not bring up shit your so desperate for things to be wrong well now you don't have to be! We are done honeslty do not message me i will block you i swear

these are the messages i get

[David]

You relationship with this guy is a clear case of a toxic relationship. You are always been hurt and you still stay with him, you don't deserve to be treated this way by this guy. You need to move on and date someone better. The only way you can do that is to move to a place far away from him. It will better if you move to a different city where he can't find you, and don't let him know about it. You might also need to quit your job for it, if your job will stop you. The truth is that, if you stay around him, he will come back to apologize and you will take him back. You might also want to change your phone number and open new social media accounts.

Until you date someone else, you won't realize you have been in bondage. So, I urge you to leave him and move on with your life.

Wish you the best!

[Peggy]

People who are in deep pain from such situation have a tendency to become very paranoid and emotional. The first step that you should do is to calm down and start thinking of whether if he is really right for you. Perhaps you are really clear that you want him and he is suitable, but you have to know there are some underlying problems with your relationship that need to be fixed.

In order for you to fix this relationship, you have to train your mental that you can live without him. Stop thinking in a way that your boyfriend is all about "Everything" because when you start to behave in this manner, you will become weak, overly sensitive and agreeable. If you want him to respect and stop cheating on you, it is absolutely vital for you to appear strong.

Now the problem is your boyfriend has another girlfriend. You can't leave him, but that does not mean you can go along with everything your boyfriend does and expect both of you to have a great relationship. For most people, they will try to persuade the other party to stay true in the relationship. However, the truth is a relationship doesn't work this way. You can't convince a person to love you or want to be with you. If a person's heart is not with you, talking to them about committing seriously will rarely get a positive ending. So no matter how hard you try to convince or probably even plead with your boyfriend to stay, what is the ending you will get? Think about this seriously.

The thing that you should be doing now is to make sure that you are in the most positive form even he has another girlfriend. Give him the signal that you CAN live without him. Learn to take a step back and stop seeing him for time being. He will eventually come looking for you when he senses that something is missing out from his life. This is the time that you can control and turn the situation around, but of course you have to do it the right way.

[Gray]

You have to start moving on once you have cleared your mind and finalized your decisions. No matter how difficult it is, you will find these simple tips useful.

Tip #1: Cry Out Loud

While most of your friends try to cheer you up, do all your best to cry everything out. You know how painful it is and faking will not help. It is alright to cry before and after the break up. You can lock yourself in your room for a week and there's nothing wrong with that. This is just you being normal.

Tip #2: Write Down His Flaws

Remember all the things you hate about him? You tried to accept some of these when you were so in love with each other. However, things are different now and this guy just broke your heart. Write down everything you hate about him. Write things like how annoying his laugh is or how his hairy back bothers you. You can also write a letter for him with a long list of his flaws. You don't need to send him this letter but writing everything you hate about him will help lighten up your feelings.

Tip #3: Get Busy

List down your goals and the things you want to do. Keep yourself busy achieving these goals. You may also keep yourself busy working. If you want to forget someone you love, take him out of your mind and put something in. Soon you will realize how great it is to be away from him; you might even be thankful that he left you. Discover the great things that the world offers to single ladies.

Tip #4: Go Out with Your Friends

When was the last time you and your girlfriends went out? When was the last time you spend a great girls bonding moment with them? Has it been years? Do you still know a lot of things about them? Go out and have fun. Try to bring the old times back by doing a lot of things that you all do before. Go to your favorite bar and drink all night. Your friends will help you forget someone you love and find another man.