Unsure which plan of action is best

[ChristopherV]

I was in a relationship with a girl for the last four years. She is very special and I love her, and she loved me, but about a week ago she told me she met this other boy at school, and that we should just be friends. Its hard because technically, its long distance now because of college. I started doing no contact today, but she is such an emotional person that I'm afraid shell take it to mean I am leaving her forever and shes ok to do what she likes- I know this is kind of the point of no contact, but after no contact when I try to make small moves, I don't want her to think I'm just recovering and complying to her 'friend request', and that I'm ok with her boyfriend situation.

In high school she did most of the initiating, and I had much more restricted freedom than her, but I knew that when college came, I could really start to come out of my shell and be the guy she wants- it seems I was too late.

I know its broad, but what do I do? Thank you for your time

[ChristopherV]

I also don't want her boyfriend (ahh, its so weird to say...) to basically tell her to forget about me entirely, if she tells him I don't respond anymore- she would probably listen to him after awhile. She is a very emotional person- will this work?

[Ben]

Chances are you did not do anything wrong, your girlfriend may have just found someone else who made her feel the way you used to when you first met.

Even though it may hurt you to even think about it right now, there is some good news. You can get your ex girlfriend back from that other guy if you know what to say and do and you do everything right. Now, it is not rocket science and it also won't happen overnight, but you can do it.

When my girlfriend left me for another guy, I felt the same way you are feeling right now and I decided to find out exactly how I could get her back from him.

What I found out was that many times if you are not spending enough time or communicating with your girlfriend well, she will start to look for someone else who will fill her needs.

The best thing for you to do right now is accept her wishes to see someone else. This is really hard to accept at first, but if you think about it, no amount of whining and crying from you is going to make her want you back.

She wants to start dating again because of the detachment she feels from you at the moment. That is why you will need to go about getting her back from a different angle. You want to become the trusted friend and not the jealous ex boyfriend. You need to rebuild your trust with her.

This might be hard to swallow right now because you still want to be romantically involved with her, but this is the best way to do it. You want to stay in her life and if you do, getting back with her will be much easier when she realizes she wants you back.

You will also need to be nice to her new boyfriend even though you do not want to right now and you would much rather tell her that he is so wrong for her. Don't do it. You want to remain a trusted friend in her life for the time being.

As your relationship grows and you are there for her when she has trouble with her new boyfriend, she will soon realize that she feels much closer to you then she does to him. That is when you can start getting back your ex girlfriend.

[Malvin]

You want to get your girlfriend back because you still love her. You are fully aware that it is not going to be easy at all, especially when she has a new boyfriend. You are fully aware that this situation can happen.

In fact, there is a high possibility that your girlfriend is dating another guy because she wants to forget about you. If you have been dumped, this method can be used to help you get better and move on with your life.

If you believe that your girlfriend is using this method, that means she still has deep feelings for you, and she is dating another guy in order to escape from her true feelings. In this case, it does not matter at all that she broke up with you or you broke up with her because the important thing is that you still love each other. So, there is a high possibility that you can get your girlfriend back.

However, there is one thing that you can notice. If she has another guy because she wants to forget about you, her new boyfriend should be totally different from you. For example, if you are a good guy, then her new guy will be the bad boy.

If it is true as mentioned above, then it will not be too difficult for you to get your girlfriend back. In addition, it is possible that she may be thinking of you when she is with her new guy. This can help her to find out what she really wants as well.

Then, you should be aware that she is doing this because she is missing something in your relationship. So, what you should do while she is with her new guy is to improve yourself to be the same person that she used to fall in love with at the first place.

You will have enough time to improve yourself because she will not easily forget about you. Besides, when she spends more time with her new boyfriend, she will be able to notice the difference. This can make you look pretty good as well. This is the reason why you should not beg her to come back immediately after the break up. It is a good idea to give her some time to miss you.

Finally, if she decides to let you know that she would like to get back with you, then you should do your best not to make her feel that getting back to you is a mistake. This is what you need to do to get your girlfriend back from another guy.

[Olivia]

The most important thing you can do when your girlfriend wants to leave is to agree with her. This is incredibly hard to do but it's essential to rebuilding the relationship. When the person we love the most wants to break up our initial reaction is always going to be to fight back. Many men have absolutely no problem getting down on their knees and literally begging their girl to stay. This is one of the worst mistakes you can make though. If you do this you are showing your girlfriend two things. First you are demonstrating that you aren't mature enough to control your emotions. The word desperate comes to the minds of many women when they see their boyfriends fall apart emotionally at the suggestion of a break. The other reason this approach isn't going to save the relationship is that your girlfriend will feel that you don't respect her wants or needs. Give her the space she wants. You are actually going to use that time to lay the foundation to re-establish your relationship with her.

The next step to take when your girlfriend wants to leave is to reconnect with friends. Often when we are in a serious relationship we let our friendships fall to the wayside. If you are guilty of this now is the time to get in touch with your friends. You need to surround yourself with positive and fun people. Take some time to just relax and have fun. It's not easy to do these things when your relationship is hanging by a thin, delicate thread, but it's helpful at getting your girl back. You want to show her that you are a positive, upbeat and focused person. Do this by keeping your life busy and by working at improving those aspects of your life that you're not completely happy with. Become the very best version of you that you can be. You want to impress her and this is an easy way to do it.

[ChristopherV]

I have started no contact today, and will continue for a bit to really check myself out and fix what I need to. I just don't want her to think I care zero about her- how do I implement no contact while avoiding this outcome?
Also, before all this, we agreed to visit each-others colleges. What do I do if she comes during no contact?

[ChristopherV]

Also, when I encounter her again or occasionally text her, will my apparent indifference to our previous or current relationship drive her away to her new boyfriend?