How Do I Get Over My Ex With Whom I Was A Dirty Little Secret?

[Imminence]

While I was with my last ex although she put that we were in a relationship together on her public facebook timeline she hid the relationship post and never posted any of the photos of us together that she had taken - only the photos of the food we had together and places we went together. She told me that she was a little hesitant introducing me to her family and would do so at a later time. She then ended up saying that in her culture (Japanese) you don't introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend until the relationship has existed for quite some time or until marriage is considered. Early on she even said that she wanted to stay with me given how she felt. Whenever I brought up her family she would raise these cultural excuses. She never introduced me to her friends either. Every Friday according to her she would go out with her female friends to go clubbing. The further into our relationship the worse this got and the more time she spent away from me using the excuses "I am busy" or "I am sick". I assumed eventually things would change. I believed her excuses.

Before she broke up with me she said that she was going to be honest and told me that at the moment I wasn't the type of guy that she liked and that she was feeling a sense of dissatisfaction and discomfort.

Once she got into a new relationship on the same day she got into it she posted a photo of them together and made it public by placing it in her Facebook intro section. A few days later she changed her profile to #Thank you always followed by the date they got into the relationship.

She had photos of all her ex's with her (every ex she ever had before me had a photo with her) - I was the only boyfriend she ever had where she did not put a photo of them with her on her Facebook account. She even did this with her current boyfriend but had to lie to me for so long being unable to tell me the truth until she had already decided to break up.

How do I deal with this, how do I overcome this feeling of being used, lied to, under-appreciated, potentially haven gone out with a cheater (I could have been her side guy) and feeling like she was ashamed/embarrassed of me? I was the first guy she had ever been in a relationship with where she didn't post photos of her boyfriend.

[Ella]

Know When It Is Finally Over

Making a relationship work is quite a task. You have to really get involved physically and emotionally. But nothing can bring you more happiness than being in a harmonious relationship with this special person. However, not all relationships are made in heaven and sadly, a lot don't end up as we expect it. We can turn this negative event into a learning experience and somehow apply the realization to our next relationship. It is not easy to get out of the miserable feeling of breaking up with a person you really care about, so we would like you to try the following tips below and perhaps, make the task of moving on a bit easier for you.

Stop Getting In Touch With Your Ex

Following this tip will be almost next to impossible, because right after the break-up you will be hurting and you feel that the only person who can take the hurt away is your ex. On the contrary, the more you see this person, especially if she has already moved on, the more you will be miserable as all the negative feelings of regret, sadness and pain will come flowing back to you. Thus, if you don't see your ex, you would be able to sort your thoughts and emotions more objectively. If you have a common set of friends, you should at least try for the moment not to cross your ex's path for obvious reasons.

Stop All Forms of Communications

The most ideal scenario would be to for ex-partners to remain friends and not estranged after a breakup, however, the possibility would be quite remote. If you wants to be able to move on you should cut clean and go "cold turkey". No more texts, MSNs, emails or phone calls, because if you do not break this emotional habit, you will never be able to be clear of your ex and make room for a new relationship.

Be Physically Active and Make New Friends and Acquaintances

It is a natural tendency for the hurt partner to crawl into solitude while trying to deal with the loss and hurt. However, staying at home alone may not be the best move to take as loneliness will make you think more of what you should be forgetting. To keep your mind occupied, you should engage yourself in productive and interesting activities which will enable you to meet new friends from whence you might be able to form a new relationship.

Nobody said the business of getting over someone you once loved is easy, but it is doable. However, you should make yourself visible to the world to let everyone who might be interested that you are available. Your ex girlfriend is a part of your past and if there is no longer the possibility of winning her back, the wise thing to do is move on. Cherish the good part of the relationship and learn from the things that made it sour. Keep yourself in good shape physically and emotionally so you would be able to do your next relationship some justice.

[Brett]

The first thing that you need to do is to get rid of any gifts from her. Even if she got you that nice watch, you need to take it off and hide it for the time being. You don't need these constant reminders around you as they are only going to make you feel worse. It might be hard to get rid of some of these items, but you need to if you want to truly move on and mend your broken heart.

Another way to get over her fast is to cut ties with her and her friends. A lot of men will try to weasel their way into her group of friends, solely for the purpose of trying to get information out of them about what she is doing. This is unhealthy and this is not going to help you to move on. If you really want to move on, then you need to forget about her. As well, you need to stop texting and calling her. Talking to her isn't helping any and it is only making matters worse. If you really want to forget about her and truly move on with your life, then you have to stop talking to her and officially let her go.

Going through a break up is not easy and that is the truth, but there are things that you can do that will help to make you feel better and fast. Keep your body and your mind as busy as possible and this will help you to get over her quickly. Now is the time that you mended your broken heart and that you got over her today.