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I destroyed my relationship and want my ex back

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  • I destroyed my relationship and want my ex back

    RomanceDictionary.com
    A few months ago me and my girlfriend traveled Thailand together. It did go well my drinking and anger issues destroyed our relationship and she left me and came back to England. We kept in contact while I was out there and planned on getting back together when I got home. She then said she couldn't do it anymore and blocked all contact with me. I came home and I saw her just before she was leaving to move to uni (she's a mature student) it went amazing we started really talking again and started getting back together. I started seeking help with my drinking and moved up closer to her as I had to move in with my dad for a while. Everything was going great and we saw each other on the weekends. We couldn't be happier. We would sometimes argue and she would be insure because of what happened in Thailand but I tried my best to help and understand her. One night she went on a night out with friends and for some stupid reason did Ket! This put her in a really bad place and she started to relive what happens in Thailand! The next morning she ended it out of nowhere. I am heart broken! She refuses to talk to me and won't see me. She told me she misses me and loves me but doesn't want to be with me. I have no idea what to do! I've started giving her some space since 2 days ago. What can I do to get her back? I love this girl so much and have changed so much for the better for her and I know we can have a amazing relationship and future but I just need her to believe it and know that I would never hurt her again. Thank you for reading this I hope someone can help

  • #2
    If you want to get your ex girlfriend to love you again start by acknowledging that things have changed. It's easy to want to immediately go back to the way you two used to be, but that's not realistic at all. You have to accept that her feelings for you have changed, for now. This means being mature about it and not letting your emotions take over. If she tells you she needs some time away from you, give it to her. If she asks you to stop calling, do it. Show her that above and beyond anything else, you respect her and her needs. She'll appreciate that you are putting her first and that will go a long way towards getting her back.

    You've also go to put all romantic notions on hold for now if you want to get her to love you again. Most men overlook the power of friendship and how it relates to their ex. If you can establish yourself as a friend to her, that's a foot in the door towards a romantic reunion. Women value friendship. It's what they want with the men they've been involved with. Although she may believe that you want to be her friend for the foreseeable future, you know differently. Once you show her that she can trust you and rely on you again, she'll be just one step away from falling back in love with you.

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    • #3
      One way to persuade your ex girlfriend to get back together with you is become a really good, platonic friend to her. Many women actually suggest this to their ex boyfriends. They want to stay in contact, so they throw out the idea of being just friends. Most men, right after a break up, aren't going to feel great about this idea. After all, it's something of a torturous situation to be in. You get to be close to the woman you love but not in a romantic sense. It's beneficial though and can be instrumental towards getting her back. If you can establish yourself as a trustworthy, non-threatening friend to your ex, she'll slowly begin to rely on and confide in you. From there it's only one step towards getting back together again.

      Ensure that your ex girlfriend knows that you are making positive changes in your life after the break up. Once a relationship has run its course it's easy for the woman to find many faults with her ex. Those faults are what lead up to the break up and can stand in the way of the couple getting back together. If you want your ex girlfriend to get back together with you become a better version of the man she fell in love with. Focus on making your life the best it can be. You can do this by getting in better shape, earning your degree or volunteering. Show her what a catch you are and she'll start to find you irresistible all over again.

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      • #4
        She still loves me as she has said so. She said she needs to rebuild her self and be happy by herself again... She told me she can't be with me again and doesn't want to be with me... But she has done this before. It kills me so much not talking to her it's only been 2 days since I spoke to her but it is breaking me. She knows i am changing and has seen it first hand. She won't even talk to me at the moment so how can I be friends with her?

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Elderlupus View Post
          She won't even talk to me at the moment so how can I be friends with her?
          When you ask yourself how to kill my ex girlfriend with kindness, there may be many things that run through your mind. But figuring out what you think would impress her the most is something you may want to think about doing. If she is an ex girlfriend than you should know her well and what she likes and dislikes. This will help you out when it comes to knowing all the kind things that you can do for her. If you don't want to get back together with her and just want to be friends, than there is no reason why you still can't be kind to each other. If you are just friends being kind to her can get you a long lasting friendship. You can be there for each other during good and bad times and can help each other out. Ex girlfriends can be great friends as well as close companions.

          If you have an ex girlfriend that is involved with another guy, than you may feel like backing away from a relationship with her until you know that it won't cause any trouble between them. You should have enough respect for her to do this and she will be happy with your kindness. Boyfriends can get jealous over ex boyfriends and this may cause trouble for your ex girlfriend. But down the road if you see that her new relationship is not working out than this may be an opportunity for you to start seeing her again. Doing kind things for her will show her that you want to try again and that you want it to work out this time around. There are other things that you can do for her to show her how much you care such as giving her back, foot and shoulder rubs, running errands for her to make her life a little easier, taking her on trips, buying her gifts and surprising her with unexpected kindness. All of these things will show her how much you care. She will appreciate that you are going out of your way to do all of these nice things for her. And her feelings could grow deeper for you. So the next time you ask yourself how to kill my ex girlfriend with kindness you will have a good idea of where to start.

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          • #6
            I know how to treat her once I get talking to her again but it's getting back to that stage... At the moment we have no contact. I haven't spoke to her in 5 days, as she said she wanted space. Do I keep waiting? Do I wait for her to message me ? What if she doesn't message me ? This is all so hard to deal with I miss her so much!

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            • #7
              So we are kinda talking now... Today we spoke on the phone for like 2 hours it went well she said she missed me and she loves me but she then said she will never get back with me? She's scared that I'll hurt her again. Please what the fuck do I do? I know if she saw me in person she would change her mind! But how do I get her to see me because she won't I can't loose this girl!

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              • #8
                RomanceDictionary.com
                I wish someone would reply to these! So we started talking again and I am seeing her this weekend for my birthday. She is staying the whole weekend. She still keeps saying she will never get back with me, but still says she loves me etc. She says she's scared I will hurt her again and feels like she can't trust me. What can I do?? I need help !

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