I need him back.. How to get him back

[Shenny]

I was dating this guy for a few months now. He was a very amazing guy and I was a very supportive and comforting girlfriend, always there when he needed me. However, things got bitter when he tested me and i fail for the second time. He decided to gave up on me and was so confident about his decision. He even mention about not seeing the future anymore with me.. This was all due to my reaction towards situation. he sees me as being too naggy and fretful, an attitude he cannot take. I plead and ask him for a chance, but he refuse.. I really love him, its been almost 3 weeks since we havent contacted each other.. I knw i have messed things up but i was willing to work on my attitude and response towards situation.. I really want to be back with him..

[Olivia]

When we're in love it almost feels as though everything else falls to the side. Life seems ideal when you're confident that you've met your soul mate and he feels the same way about you. It's hard to imagine life without him and it's virtually impossible to picture loving another man.

However, sometimes that picture perfect ideal falls apart and a relationship ends. When this happens many women say that they can almost feel their heart breaking apart. The pain is deep and unstoppable and the only thing that will cure it is learning how to make him love you again. When you're in this situation you're overrun with so many emotions, but the drive to get him back is real and strong. Regardless of why you two broke up, there is almost always a chance of getting back together. If you're ready to win back your boyfriend's love, you also need to be ready to follow some straightforward advice.

We're taught from a very young age that as women it's okay to show our emotions. We cry at sappy commercials on the television and we weep when we read sentimental greeting cards. Obviously we're going to fall apart when the man we love isn't with us anymore. You need to fight against that though. Learning how to make him love you again begins with understanding that your emotions have to be kept in check. Men are typically uncomfortable when they are confronted with an emotional woman. Your boyfriend may even pull back farther if you are constantly crying or begging him to come back. So, lesson number one is get control of what you're feeling and no more crying in front of him.

Understanding how to make him love you again also has to include recognizing the value in patience. It takes time to rebuild anything that has broken, that includes a relationship. It's unrealistic to assume that the two of you can jump headfirst back into your romantic partnership. You need to establish a new bond with him that you can then nurture until it grows back into a new and better romance. Become his friend. Tell him that you'd very much like for the two of you to be friends. Make it clear to him that's all you want and he'll be much more open to the idea. Then prove to him that you are a loving, supportive and non-threatening friend. Keep your past in the past. Work on creating a new, stronger bond and in time you can begin to steer it towards something more.

[Anthony]

If you want to know how to make him wish he had you back, you just need to follow a few steps and before long he'll be the one begging you to come back to him.

The first thing you must do if you want to make him wish he had you back is get control over your emotions. As women we tend to see relationships only from one side. That's natural and understandable but it's not helpful when you're dealing with a situation like a break up. You have to think like a man in this case and most men get incredibly uncomfortable when they are faced with an overly emotional woman. If you've been calling your ex while you're crying, begging him to take you back, you're dramatically hurting your chances of ever getting him back. Remaining cool, calm and collected will help you tremendously in your quest to regain his affection.

The next step you need to be taking if you want to make him want you back is ensure that he has an opportunity to miss you. This is a crucial part of getting a man back that most women just aren't aware of. Your boyfriend needs to feel a void in his life. If you're continually calling him, sending him text messages or writing him emails every day he's never going to miss you. You'll always be right there stirring up the negative feelings that led him to break up with you in the first place. The way to get him back is to stop talking to him altogether for a few weeks. Busy yourself with your own tasks be it focusing more on your friends, visiting some family or just getting away for a few days. You need to create some tangible distance between you and your ex. If you can do this he'll feel your absence, and it will make him miss you and want you back.

Also, take a bit of time to work on improving who you are as a person. You really want to wow your ex boyfriend when you two cross paths again. The best way to do this is to focus on the qualities about yourself that he loved the most. If he sees a vibrant, fun and attractive woman who is moving on with her life, it will make him remember the early days of your relationship again. Once this happens he'll definitely start to rethink whether the break up is really what he wants.

[Shenny]

Thanks Olivia and @Anthony.. I am currently using the NO Contact Rule. And its been 3 weeks we havent contacted each other, What if the 30 days passed and he havent contacted me, Should I continue the No Contact Rule or Should I initiate Contact and allow him to see the positive and fun fun side of me..

[Anthony]

Thanks Olivia What if the 30 days passed and he havent contacted me, Should I continue the No Contact Rule or Should I initiate Contact and allow him to see the positive and fun fun side of me..

Let's answer the question of how to contact your ex after no contact?

Should you call him up?

Should you email your ex?

The answer to those questions is no! The right answer is you're going to text him.

You're going to use what's called an across the bow text message from the Text Your Ex Back system by Mike Fiore. Why? Because it's the most powerful and simple way of re-opening the door of communication with your ex. I'm going to illustrate here what you would probably think of texting your ex.

You'd probably say something along the lines of...

"Hi. How have you been?"

or something like, "Hi...been a long time. I really miss you."

or even worse..."What's up? I know I messed up. I'm sorry."

Those texts you'd probably use as first contact with your ex don't really entice them to respond or open up a conversation. Now, I'm going to show you an across the bow text example that's much better at opening the door for more communication. Here's a Mike Fiore across the bow text example:

"Just found a copy of (insert artist cd) and remembered when we saw them in concert. Made me think of you for the first time in a while and put a smile on my face. Hope you're doing great!"

Now, what you're going to do is tailor my across the bow text message example to what your ex boyfriend likes. The above example works a lot better because it doesn't come from a needy or desperate place. It also brings up a positive aspect about your relationship, and doesn't put any pressure on your ex so their defenses go up.

[Shenny]

Thank you very much.. i was wondering the same to text him something that will remind him of a special moment we once shared, but not to show any sort of desperation or neediness. Um.. what is a bit pondering is, that, upon the break up, he said that if i continue with relationship talks, (which is apology and explanation) that he will delete messenger so we wouldn't have any contact, since he view that it might be unhealthy. And he even mentioned that the break up is affecting him as much as it is affecting me.. and i had made a promise that i will not have relationship talk anymore and i even mentioned that promises are made to be fulfilled not broken and i will keep my promise.. Will sending him an across the bow text, compromise this promise