Want to Take Her Back (She's Seeing Someone)

[enterthemachine]

We have a 4 year relationship.

I'm having depression for 5 months for several reasons and ignored her. Ignored she's meeting with some men as well. (I was resentful to her for some reasons and pushed her by ignoring.)

She's in 3 week relationship now.

I told her the reasons why I was like that and want her break up.

She said "I can't do it to him" also said she has some feelings to him. She wanted time to think and talk it with the guy.

I'm sure we still love each other. Never insulted or yelled each other.

Can I take her back, may you recommend me some strategies, should I talk to her family to make her reconsider?

Thanks

[Scot]

Since you have told her you want her back, you should give her time to reconsider and come back to you. Don't push her too much about this issue, just be nice and she will come back to you again.

[Richard]

Learning how to get your ex girlfriend back from a new boyfriend requires patience and a lot of self-control. Your first instinct will be to panic or to get angry. It's the mindset of, "I need to do something quick or I'll lose her forever." or "I can't believe she's dating such a douchebag."

However, acting out of desperation, anger, or in an emotionally heightened state will actually push her away for good. This is where the patience and self-control comes into play.

Women love men who are in control both mentally and physically, so if you can't even control your own emotions, she won't be drawn to you. Instead of getting angry, focus on understanding women and being the guy they need you to be.

Do this without resorting to dirty or manipulative tactics (like those often used by pick up artists) and maintain your inner "nice guy". When you hear "nice guys finish last" what that really means is "needy guys finish last". Women want and deserve a "nice guy" who treats them well so long as he is still confident and in control without being arrogant or abusive.

Neediness brings about the death of any relationship, so you need to step back and get rid of any neediness you may be feeling. In fact, it's a good idea to follow a no contact rule for 30 days.

Letting her miss you will help and this gives you time to get your own thoughts and emotions in order. After a little time passes, you may even decide you don't really want her back.

Remember, neediness is the opposite of attraction so you should always live by the mantra, "I WANT my ex girlfriend in my life, but I don't NEED my ex girlfriend in my life." When your actions and words come from having that mindset, you're much more likely to be magnetically attractive to women (including your ex girlfriend).

Being strong enough to not need her makes you more attractive. If she knows she can date another guy and you'll still be there waiting for her when it doesn't work out, then she will have no fear of losing you and you'll remain on the back burner or stuck in the "friend zone" for all eternity.

Don't be afraid to go out and date other women. In fact, you should. One of the best ways to get a girl interested in you is for other girls to be interested in you. In order to do this, you must be a guy who has an active social life.

Ever seen a woman get extremely jealous? Look out. Jealousy can work to your advantage if you use it correctly.

Next, be busy. Don't always be available or instantly drop everything you're doing if she suddenly calls or texts wanting to meet up with you. You shouldn't be her "emotional crying post" every time she has a bad day and needs someone to talk to (unless of course you just want to remain "friends").

If you want her back, she needs to feel like she could lose you.

You also need to understand that logic and romance are like oil and water; they don't mix. You'll never get your ex girlfriend back from a new boyfriend by telling her all the reasons she should be with you.

You also won't get her back by giving her 101 reasons why the guy she's currently dating is a jerk. If you want her back, you have to let go of any anger you have over her dating another man, even if you just broke up a couple days ago and she's already with someone else.

Just giving her a list of reasons why you're the best man for her won't work, but you can still convey through your words and actions that you're the confident, in control man (who isn't creepy or weird) that she's biologically wired to be drawn to.

An excellent way to do this is through the use of your cell phone and text messages. It's one of the best methods when your ex girlfriend is dating a new boyfriend because texting is subtle, non-confrontational, private, and gives you incredible access to your ex.

[Kate]

If you really want to get your girlfriend back you should know that most rebound relationships don't work out. Perhaps your girlfriend and her new boyfriend have been sneaking around behind your back for a while now. Of course, at first the relief of not having to sneak around will feel wonderful for them but along with that much of the excitement of a clandestine relationship goes away also. They no longer have the wanting and needing something that they think they can't have. It's sort of like wanting a new possession and the downer that you feel sometimes after you get it. It's just not that special any longer and it's just another thing that you have. Do you understand?

The same thing will happen with your girlfriend and her new boyfriend. Relatively quickly her new boyfriend will see that she is not always a perfect little angel and she can sometimes be kind of moody. She will also see that this guy that was once on his best behavior for the short periods of time that they spent together is no different than any other guy. The honeymoon it typically very short lived with rebound relationships and you can use this to your advantage.

You typically won't have to wait very long before they breakup and you should be doing your homework in the meantime to make sure that you are poised to be there for your girlfriend once her new boyfriend does mess up. And he will mess up. You can count on that.

You should try to open the lines of communication with your girlfriend while she is still with her new boyfriend. Let her know that you always valued her as a friend more than anything and that you want to remain friend. Women typically can't resist this sort of thing and it also helps them to feel somewhat guilt free about how she dumped you. Take advantage of this new found friendship at some point within a couple of weeks of her agreeing and contact her when he isn't around so she can help you with a problem that you might be having. Stress at work or family problems are a part of everyone's life. Use some small crisis as a bonding event for you and your girlfriend. She will already know the people you are talking about and talking with you through your problem will seem familiar for her and she will start to feel that connection with you once again.

Of course, your presence in her life isn't going to help with the new boyfriend and chances are he will pitch a fit if or when he finds out that she has been talking to you. Use this to your advantage and let her know that you will abide by her wishes but that you wouldn't let your new girlfriend tell you who you were going to talk to.

If she stops communicating with you just step back and wait for her to dump her new boyfriend and open the doors to talking with you again. You will be the logical person she comes to after she is done with that chump. If she does keep on talking to you just wait for her to start opening up about troubles that she is having in her new relationship. It is only normal for her to start comparing him to you and typically all the bad memories from your relationship will fade leaving only the pleasant ones.

It may be difficult to hear her talk about her new boyfriend but if you really do want to get her back it is necessary for you to grin and bear it a bit. Learn how to be a good listener and also how to talk effectively with her so you can take advantage of this time to rebuild your relationship and steal her back from that guy who stole your girlfriend. After all, it isn't what you say to a woman that is so important but how you say it that gets the results that you want.

[enterthemachine]

Thank you very much all for your valuable, detailed answers and support. I need those.

I'll follow your guidings.

Thank you very much again.

[enterthemachine]

How should I be act when we meet up as "friends"? How should be my manners?