Girlfriend just broke up with me. Need some advice please

[shypshnius]

Good evening,

I was just dumped by my girlfriend and i'm currently really confused. I think the main reason why she broke up with me was cause i acted really clingy, super needy and annoyed her during the last week when she went to another city to meet her friends and have a good time. She was already acting quite cold the week before so i panicked a bit and kept messaging, calling her a lot during the days she was away. I could see that she was annoyed with that but i just wanted to understand what was wrong. I could clearly smell that something is not right and had a feeling that she is thinking about breaking up with me. I know it was a big mistake on my part not giving her space during that week. So when she came back, she told me that she needs couple days of space to decide whether she wants to be with me anymore. I've just called her today, and hung up on me, then we chatted a little bit and it turned out that she decided to break up.

But my main concern is, what she wrote me was:

"I don't know if i'm doing the right thing. I hope i'm not making a mistake.

I'm not quite sure what that means.. Do you think she still has some feelings for me? She's acting really cold though and doesn't seem to be interested in me anymore. However, he's still checking every single thing i put on instagram/facebook. We been together for 6 months and it seemed that we really loved each. She even cried in front of me at least 3 times, she used to be really comfortable next to me. It was a long distance relationship though. We used to meet twice a week. It's just hard to believe for me that like 10 days ago she said she really loved me and now she decided to break up with me after i was really clingy, needy the week she was away.

What is your opinion? Mainly about that thing she said to me today: ""I don't know if i'm doing the right thing. I hope i'm not making a mistake.".

Do you think i still got a chance to get her back?

The thing is i still love her a lot. I will be doing the no contact thing from now on. I've just thanked her for the good times, said i love her a lot and that i'm leaving the door open, she can call my anytime if she changes her mind. Do you think it was appropriate to say?

Thank you.

[Rachael]

If you truly love her and you can't imagine a future without her, you need to know exactly what to say to your ex girlfriend to get her back.

The one thing you absolutely must say to your ex girlfriend to get her back is that you agree with the break up. Considering the fact that you desperately want her back, telling her that you're happy that you two are no longer together may seem ridiculous. The truth is that it works though. What you are currently feeling and what is behind your drive to get back together with her is rejection. You feel hurt and alone because she's rejected you. It naturally pushes you to try and fix things and to try and win her back. You need to shift that feeling from you to her.

To do that you need to ensure that she understands that you are completely fine with the break up. You have to be careful of how okay with it you seem though. Don't stand there with a foolish fake grin on your face when you tell her that you were considering dumping her before she dumped you. Instead, hold back your tears when you tell her that you've been thinking about a break for awhile too and the time apart will do you good. If you can do this, you'll notice a change in her demeanor almost immediately. She'll start to feel those pangs of rejection herself and it will make her want you back. It's human nature to want what you can't have, so show her that she can no longer have you. That will make her work harder at trying to get you back.

[Gray]

You have probably spent at least some time trying to figure out how to get a second chance with her. Calling and begging for forgiveness might seem like the logical thing to do but if you really want her back, your best move is to ignore your ex girlfriend.

This seems counterproductive. If you want to woo your girl back how are you supposed to accomplish that by not talking to her? As surprising as it seems, it actually does work. There are several reasons why it's best to ignore your ex girlfriend if you want her back and the first has to do with giving her space.

Most of us make the wrong assumption that unless we're constantly around another person they'll forget about us. The opposite is actually true. If you are always within reach, if you call your ex every day, text or email her, she's never going to have the opportunity to miss you. You need to stop contacting her so she can see that without you, there's a void in her life. No amount of talking or begging or crying can ever convince her of that. You have to show her and to do that you have to cut all contact.

Another reason why it's so important to ignore your ex girlfriend if you still love her is that you want her to start questioning your feelings. If you have made it known that you are willing to wait a lifetime to have a second chance with her, she may take you up on that offer and prolong making a decision about getting back together. In the meantime she may be out enjoying herself with friends and maybe even a new man while you are sitting at home waiting for the call from her that will bring your relationship back to life. Never put your life on hold after a break up. Instead go out and have fun. If you and your ex have mutual friends word will get back to her that you're enjoying your life. This won't sit well with her and it will instantly make her question the break up. You want this to happen, so resist every temptation to sit and wait for her. You'll accomplish much more by continuing to enjoy your life.

[shypshnius]

Quick update: She just messaged me 4 days after breakup. She basically messaged me a random joke on facebook and we had a short fun conversation for like 20 minutes before she responded with: "your given minutes for today ran out, good night". What is this all about lol? Is she just playing with me, trying to get her ego fed or do you think she actually still cares and started regreting her decision dumping me 4 days ago?

[HankOcean]

Quick update: She just messaged me 4 days after breakup. She basically messaged me a random joke on facebook and we had a short fun conversation for like 20 minutes before she responded with: "your given minutes for today ran out, good night". What is this all about lol? Is she just playing with me, trying to get her ego fed or do you think she actually still cares and started regreting her decision dumping me 4 days ago?

She could be playing and the way it came across just didn't match what she meant (if it was over text). She said she needed space, so limited contact is what she needs right now. If that's the case she could of worded it a little better. Wait for contact again and ask how she's feeling about you 2. Broach the subject but don't push it. You need to show her that you are not being clingy as that drove her away. if you want your relationship to continue in anyway, you also need to stop being clingy.

Best of luck!