What to do next? To get him back

[Shenny]

So, my ex boyfriend broke up with me over minor issues.. I have tried the no contact rule and it’s being 30 days but he haven’t contacted me as yet.. I don’t know what to do next??

[HankOcean]

Contact him. If he doesn't respond then i'm afraid it's over.

[Shenny]

I contacted him today.. Actually, it’s an across the bow text.. But he didn’t reply.. He did read it.. I don’t know what to do next, cuz our reason for break up was petty..

[Drake]

Now that you are ready to make contact again, you are left to wonder, "What am I going to say"? Well, I have the answer you need.

You've followed the plan to get your ex back. You went six weeks and made no attempts at contact, exercised like an animal, and went out on a few dates. After all of this, you still decided that you want your ex back, so you are ready to make the big call. There is just one problem: What am I going to say?

Just say, "Hey, I haven't heard from you in a while, just thought I would call to say hello". I'm certain your ex will be receptive to it after 6 weeks of nothing. Now, during the course of the conversation, sound as upbeat as you can. Do NOT tell them you missed them. Tell them you're great and things have been going really well for you. Also, DO NOT bring up the relationship. If the ex does, that's fine but be careful in this trap. Where ever the conversation goes, keep it as light as possible. If the ex tries to apologize for hurting you, make light of it.

Example: Ex, "I just wanted to say I'm so sorry for hurting you".

You, "Yeah, well it was tough for a while there. I was actually considering homosexuality (or hetero if you are homosexual) there for a while" and then laugh it off. Just keep the mood upbeat and cheery.

I also want you to ask the ex to meet up (This way they can see how GREAT YOU look) so you can catch up. If the ex says yes, great, just keep it light as much as possible. If the ex says no, well, you have your answer. It's over and you may need to come back here for advice on how to heal your broken heart.

Your ex may have missed you as much as you have missed them so try to keep in touch as much as you can. You never know once the initial contact is made they may try to contact you more often. Now that you are ready to make contact again, just think your relationship could get back on track really quickly and you may get back to where you once were. Don`t be afraid take the first steps to a new relationship today.

[Scot]

When the following conditions apply, you can consider contacting your ex:

• No contract rule done for at least one month.
• You've done some hard thinking about you, your relationship and your ex.
• You have minimized feelings of resentment and anger.
• You've worked on and found areas to improve the quality of your life without your ex. These could be your job, your fitness level, family, friends, etc.
• You have a greater sense of independence and confidence.

How to Reconnect

The best way is a simple phone call. You simply try to call your ex when you believe they will be able to talk privately. Keep the conversation light and fun. The goal is to just get in his presence.

Meet somewhere for coffee or lunch. Specify date, time and location. Plan this about a week in advance.

You are looking for the kind of meeting which can be quick. You don't want at this stage for negative memories to rear their ugly heads. Have an idea of what you plan to say during your meeting. Again, the topic should be a fun memory from the past. Keep it light and upbeat.