Help with break up

[Misssunshine]

Hello, my boyfriend and I broke up a little over a week ago he just reached out to me yesterday we ended in bad terms mad at each other but he kicked me out of our home that we,vet lived together for 3 years we’ve been together for 10 but Not married and he has been frustrated at me for the last 3 months because of money. I don’t want to help because always throws in my face and others that that’s not my house so from anger I haven’t paid my part and he told me to leave after our heated argument he didn’t want to see where I was coming from so I grabbed my stuff and left two days later he changed the lock I was able to break in and get my stuff so now a week later he says sorry that he effed up .. I didn’t answer then he said he missed me and I said no you don’t you stopped missing me a long time ago. I don’t know if I should of had responded I think it would of been better... today I didn’t hear from him. I want to work things out but I want him to make more effort. I don’t know what to do. Help,

[Richard]

Yes, it would have been better if you didn't reply to his message. However, now that he wants you back, don't make yourself readily available. It's best you give him space and time to miss you even more, that way he will get to cherish you.

[Anthonia]

As much as you want his words to mean he longs for you, don't be too quick to rush to that judgement.

The phrase, "I miss you so much," is a go to one for many men. It's something they say when they want to placate the woman they're with. If he's waffling on what he's feeling and he's pulled back just a bit, he may say that he misses you because he knows that it will ease your worry. Most men don't want to deal with a woman who is panicking over the state of the relationship. Instead of telling you that he needs some time or distance, he may just claim he misses you because he knows you'll find some comfort in that.

You can easily tell if a man really misses you by his actions. If there's some tangible distance between you two because you live in different cities or one of you is traveling, he'll be making plans to either fly to see you or he'll be planning a romantic evening for two on the day you or he arrives back home. If he says he's unsure of when he'll have time to see you or his schedule is full at the moment, that's not a man that is missing you enough to put the wheels in motion to see you.

If you two are in the same place and he has a long list of reasons why he can't have dinner with you or even a coffee, don't put too much meaning in his declaration that he misses you. He doesn't. If he did he'd be moving everything around on his schedule so he could see you in person, even briefly.

It's so easy to get caught up in the romantic undertones of any relationship. If your man says all the right things you may feel as though you're being swept away in a tidal wave of adoration and devotion. If his actions aren't backing up those words, be mindful of your heart. Investing too much of yourself in a relationship with a man who isn't making himself accessible to you physically or emotionally is a recipe for romantic disaster.

Let his actions speak for him. If he loves you, and does miss you, he'll make time for you. Men do that when they're smitten with a woman. If you're a casual romantic partner, you'll soon know it by the obvious lack of effort he puts into your connection.