I'm suffering in my relationship and having hard time breaking up

[MSN66]

I am 32 and have lived alone for years before, don't have friends and family around, dated a few girls i wasn't into, until i met the the current one,
i found her attractive in a lot of ways, first she was normal and confident, she liked me and she put afford into getting know me not like those wish-y-wash-y, who say maybe, fucked up girls .

She's attractive,independent, caring person with a great personality, the problem i had with her and still suffer from is she is big girl, at first i tried to be positive and look at the bright side,
Now after two years and after some breaking up and getting back together, our problem hasn't been solved,
We have a lot in common our most difference is i grew up athletic and toned and she is opposite , I care about her but i'm having hard time looking at her naked body, i feel like i'm doomed .

She has lost some weight and she's still doing it at her pace and she understands that she needs to loose weight,
Every time i see girls with nice body makes me depressed and make me bad about myself
and after the last break up, and getting back together she wanted to move in with me and now she lives with me.

I understand that i chose to be with her and i could break up and move on with my life, however i couldn't handle it well, intense amount of pressure and anxiety, loneliness, hold me back from moving forward , a lot of people talk about: you gotta love yourself and be happy alone, sure, i'd like to challenge them by asking how long you've been alone? without seeing anybody who care about you, i'm trying to keep my head up, i'm trying to be ok if i have to stay alone for years and years ... and be ok watching lovely couples every where ...

After my last break up i saw a psychotherapist, it was waste of time and money

She's upset about the fact that i don't take her to a date and don't pay enough attention to her anymore and i know that very well, i'm just trying to be by myself and sort of work on myself these days so i can build up the courage and confidence to don't settle down when i'm not sure. I think i care about her too much, don't wanna hurt her feeling even though i know break up can be better for her too

Now days i barely can see and talk to people, since i spend almost all my days at work, driving to work and come home late and go to gym, i don't see a lot of people to socialized , i like my job, it's just so demanding

Your preservative would be always appreciate it ..

[Ella]

If you are finding yourself stuck in a relationship hat you do not have anymore feelings for, then you should think of a way to break the news to your partner. Here are some rules for breaking up without drama, to save yourself from embarrassment.

First, rulto tell it to your partner face-to-face. Don't choose indirect methods like text messages, emails or phone calls. It is to be able to look at the person in the eye and tell them the problem you are having. By telling it face-to-face, you will be seen as genuine and respectful to your partner.

Secondly, don't cut the person off from your life by avoiding or ignoring her. She will not know what's the problem and you will suffer in silence out of resentment.

If you want to make a break up, make the process short and sweet. Don't contemplate for too long. The longer you take, the more confuse you will be. Break up as soon as possible and you will not suffer from having a dramatic break up.

Be humble and be yourself. Just tell things as it is and don't use any lines from script. Tell it honestly and directly as who you are. Though you are deemed to hurt your partner, she will hate you less and recover from the break up easier.

Try to keep yourself out of your ex-partner's sight. Don't let them see you snuggling up to someone new as it will hurt them more. Be respectful and keep a distance until you think that it's enough time for the cooling off period.

Stay as friends with your ex-partner but you still have to keep your distance from her for a while. If you become good friends too soon, it will only make her miss you and want you back as her partner role. You don't want that and what you want to achieve is to be friends.

So, above are just some common rules for breaking up without drama and you should apply the tips if you consider that your relationship is no longer working.

[Nicolas]

Before breaking up, you need to retrieve as many of your personal belongings as possible - without raising their suspicions. This might take a few weeks, but you need to do this the right way. Take your time, and get as many of your possessions out as possible. Get rid of anything incriminating if possible as well. If you're still having relations with them, make doubly sure to use protection - no matter what. This is not the time to deal with a pregnancy.

You also want to arrange to get a new cell phone if possible, with a new number, change all your passwords on all your accounts - and change your email if possible. If it's possible to block their numbers on your home and work phone, make sure to do it. You need to cut off as many avenues of communication as possible. Try to time this to happen either the day of the breakup or as close to it as possible. Make whatever excuses you have to, but make sure to do these things.

You should also consider taking a 'family vacation' starting right after your breakup. If you're on vacation, you can have a trusted friend make sure to remove mail, messages scrawled in blood on your walls, etc, that might alert your spouse.

There are two types of places you can break up with them: public or private. I would strongly advice a private spot. You don't want them making a major scene, even though the witnesses would make it much easier to get a restraining order put on them, the fact is, stalkers don't obey restraining orders, so you're better off doing it in private.

On the fateful day, you have to make absolutely sure to make it completely clear to them that you are breaking up with them. Don't mince words, don't be subtle. Psychos don't understand subtle; they understand sniper rifles, surveillance equipment and Molotov cocktails. You have to be as blunt as possible.

Whatever you do, don't tell them you never had feelings for them, or that you will always love them. The former will really send them into a rage, and the latter will leave the door open in their mind for a possible reconciliation. Both are ill-advised, and either can lead to personal injury or at least major psychological torment.

You have to be blunt, once again, and you have to get out of there as quickly as possible. The longer you stay, the more likely it is that you'll face physical injury, or give into fear and decide against breaking up. Do the deed, and get out of there as fast as you can. Tell them your parents were in an accident or something - anything, just get out of there.

The hard part is what comes next. With any luck, you were able to change your numbers, etc. The problem now is that you're going to face hate-mail, relentless phone calls and messages, and your stalker showing up in the oddest places. You can't acknowledge them, you just have to make it through this part.

If the fates are with you, you will be able to weather the storm, and they will move onto someone else, but chances are, if your spouse hasn't found out about them already, they will during this period. If they do, explain things, and hope for sympathy. If they don't, then you've got some amazing luck, and you should probably play the lottery every day during this period.

At any rate, with all the precautions being taken, there's nothing left to do than to make sure to go to church regularly, pray a lot, and try to keep your mind off the overwhelming fear as much as possible. Once you get past the first month or two, the rest should be easy, so relax and focus on making as many positive changes to your marriage as possible, and appreciate your spouse that much more - since obviously they are normal and divine by any means of comparison.

Ending an affair with a psychopath is one of the scariest things you may ever have to go through, but it will pale in comparison to the pain of losing the most important relationship in your life - your marriage. Make sure to keep things in perspective, and remember what's most important, and you'll do just fine.