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I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. The situation seems pretty crappy to be honest. I guess at this point I'm stuck with "what if?" In my head and maybe missing out on something. In the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend had cheated multiple times online from the beginning of the relationship. He eventually cited he wasn't unhappy because we were always fighting, but he was doing the stuff from the very start!i know at a time I was really unhappy because of the job I had, but I was unhappy because he was always fighting me in regards to
my accurate I securities. He lied continuously and eventually I figured it all out even though he kept lying about it and making me seem like the insecure one. It was a really tough time because I wanted to work it out with him. We went to therapy a couple of times, but stopped going. It was really hard on me because I felt like I didn't see much of any empathetic reassurance except when he cried because he got caught. When we fought all I did was want to work stuff out, but he would just make me leave him alone flr
hours so he could get over it. He never could reach out to me because I would be upset. Afterwards he would just look at me as I cried over and over about things at different points. I don't know if it's because he could show no empathy or what or because there was no empathetic reassurance on his part. He would just say he wasn't going to do those things anymore. he eventually fought with me all the time about it because I would talk about it and really try to understand why it happened. He eventually told me that he didn't know how long he would be with me and deal with it if it kept coming up. I was appalled because I told him it wasn't on his time table on his long it took me to get through it and trust him, if I could even trust him! He is a different individual I guess. He doesn't show much empathy with things, but I have seen him cry on movies or comment how sad something was. He is a nice guy who works hard to help me with bills. He's funny and says he cares about me. He's a black and white type of guy, a pragmatic individual who sees things as " this way or that". He's cut and dry and really there's not much to him. He has always fought me a lot on different things like tattooing women In my apartment I didn't know, even though we lived together. It appalled me that he would do that in our home without me even there. It caused a lot of fights but eventually he stopped tattooing so that he didn't cause problems. It's just some stuff that would come up and I would seriously say he just doesn't get it!!! Sometimes I would feel like I could not get angry about things because he would just shut down and get angry himself, stating I was being really rude when I had good cause to be mad or upset. But eventually I tried to work everything out with him and for 7 months I didn't see anything come up in regards to cheating. I thought maybe I could trust him a little or at least start to, but I never did completely at the time. Eventually I got a new job and met someone at work. We ended up liking each other and kissed and I told my boyfriend. I told the other guy I needed to take care of my business and told him to
step
aside. I eventually told my boyfriend that I didn't want to be with him, with a moment of clarity that I didn't want to be that girl who was always looking over her should. I didn't want to spend another how ever many years trying to trust him completely and it blow up in my face. I really just wanted to be happy and not in fear. I did this and felt good, but eventually doubted myself later. I'm just trying to figure this out. I know there's no trust on both sides, but is there a way to come back from this? I question myself and say "what if" he really was trying to be a different person for those 7 months. I know this is driving me insane, but I don't want to miss out on something that could have been.
my accurate I securities. He lied continuously and eventually I figured it all out even though he kept lying about it and making me seem like the insecure one. It was a really tough time because I wanted to work it out with him. We went to therapy a couple of times, but stopped going. It was really hard on me because I felt like I didn't see much of any empathetic reassurance except when he cried because he got caught. When we fought all I did was want to work stuff out, but he would just make me leave him alone flr
hours so he could get over it. He never could reach out to me because I would be upset. Afterwards he would just look at me as I cried over and over about things at different points. I don't know if it's because he could show no empathy or what or because there was no empathetic reassurance on his part. He would just say he wasn't going to do those things anymore. he eventually fought with me all the time about it because I would talk about it and really try to understand why it happened. He eventually told me that he didn't know how long he would be with me and deal with it if it kept coming up. I was appalled because I told him it wasn't on his time table on his long it took me to get through it and trust him, if I could even trust him! He is a different individual I guess. He doesn't show much empathy with things, but I have seen him cry on movies or comment how sad something was. He is a nice guy who works hard to help me with bills. He's funny and says he cares about me. He's a black and white type of guy, a pragmatic individual who sees things as " this way or that". He's cut and dry and really there's not much to him. He has always fought me a lot on different things like tattooing women In my apartment I didn't know, even though we lived together. It appalled me that he would do that in our home without me even there. It caused a lot of fights but eventually he stopped tattooing so that he didn't cause problems. It's just some stuff that would come up and I would seriously say he just doesn't get it!!! Sometimes I would feel like I could not get angry about things because he would just shut down and get angry himself, stating I was being really rude when I had good cause to be mad or upset. But eventually I tried to work everything out with him and for 7 months I didn't see anything come up in regards to cheating. I thought maybe I could trust him a little or at least start to, but I never did completely at the time. Eventually I got a new job and met someone at work. We ended up liking each other and kissed and I told my boyfriend. I told the other guy I needed to take care of my business and told him to
step
aside. I eventually told my boyfriend that I didn't want to be with him, with a moment of clarity that I didn't want to be that girl who was always looking over her should. I didn't want to spend another how ever many years trying to trust him completely and it blow up in my face. I really just wanted to be happy and not in fear. I did this and felt good, but eventually doubted myself later. I'm just trying to figure this out. I know there's no trust on both sides, but is there a way to come back from this? I question myself and say "what if" he really was trying to be a different person for those 7 months. I know this is driving me insane, but I don't want to miss out on something that could have been.
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