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Been in a relationship with my GF (was in one) for about 10 months going on 11. We had a great time on xmas but times were getting pretty bad lately. Arguments and such involving us not being the same when we first met. I understand people change over time, but by the age of 29/30, you know who you are unless you lose yourself. I am 30 and she is 32. We have a predicament that both of us live with our parents, she is building her house and I moved home because my father has cancer - i recently got let go from my job (which wasn't an issue at all in our relationship) but the arguments have been rather consistent since we went on our first vacation. She has a hard time explaining her feelings let alone anything - she says she just wants to have fun and not be serious. Not sure how one can take that but I went along with it the entire time. Arguments ensued weekly/bi-weekly over the same things and we have been making improvements but it's just always the same things.
Both love each other so we decided on xmas that we wanted to take a break because it was for the best of us. I lost myself and she lost herself, (the break was more on her end because she has a lot of things happening in her life). Her house is unable to move into, can't build it, can't work on it - still waiting on permits and it has her stressed beyond belief. Her work has gotten under her skin and her grandmother just recently died. I am there for her when she needs to let loose and explain how she feels - anyone would do that. I think it just took a toll on her... anyways - we are on a break since xmas. we have texted and called each other a few times to see how things are going and she said that she "misses me, but she doesn't know if she is in love with me." I got to the bottom of it and wondered what that meant from her perspective and she said that she doesn't want to go back to arguing, all of the good times in her life with me is shadowed by bad times. I know all relationships have hiccups - and many relationships have breaks of some sort of manner.
For her to tell me she misses me and wants to take "baby steps," confuses me. What does baby steps mean? Texting casually? occasional phone calls? She even said she wants to see jumanji with me, so it's as if she is leading me on, but doesn't know what to do? It's the 7th today (tonight) and i vowed that i wouldn't put a time stamp on anything, but i need to do this for myself - I don't want to contact her until the 27th on January. I cannot make first contact, she needs her space and needs to find out what she lost about herself and how she needs to fix it... She stated that she wants me to move on because she doesn't want me to get led on, but I told her that you aren't leading me on and the decisions i make in my life are for myself - explaining that I feel that she is the one and all that sappy crap.
So at the moment I am just worrying about me - what's best for me and my life. It sucks that the biggest puzzle piece to my life is MIA from the break/break-up but it's for the best. So i've heard many times, you only have yourself at the end of the day, you can trust others but you truly know yourself better than anyone else and know what's best for yourself... Distance makes the heart grow fonder etc.
Am i in the wrong? right? Where do I go from here?
Both love each other so we decided on xmas that we wanted to take a break because it was for the best of us. I lost myself and she lost herself, (the break was more on her end because she has a lot of things happening in her life). Her house is unable to move into, can't build it, can't work on it - still waiting on permits and it has her stressed beyond belief. Her work has gotten under her skin and her grandmother just recently died. I am there for her when she needs to let loose and explain how she feels - anyone would do that. I think it just took a toll on her... anyways - we are on a break since xmas. we have texted and called each other a few times to see how things are going and she said that she "misses me, but she doesn't know if she is in love with me." I got to the bottom of it and wondered what that meant from her perspective and she said that she doesn't want to go back to arguing, all of the good times in her life with me is shadowed by bad times. I know all relationships have hiccups - and many relationships have breaks of some sort of manner.
For her to tell me she misses me and wants to take "baby steps," confuses me. What does baby steps mean? Texting casually? occasional phone calls? She even said she wants to see jumanji with me, so it's as if she is leading me on, but doesn't know what to do? It's the 7th today (tonight) and i vowed that i wouldn't put a time stamp on anything, but i need to do this for myself - I don't want to contact her until the 27th on January. I cannot make first contact, she needs her space and needs to find out what she lost about herself and how she needs to fix it... She stated that she wants me to move on because she doesn't want me to get led on, but I told her that you aren't leading me on and the decisions i make in my life are for myself - explaining that I feel that she is the one and all that sappy crap.
So at the moment I am just worrying about me - what's best for me and my life. It sucks that the biggest puzzle piece to my life is MIA from the break/break-up but it's for the best. So i've heard many times, you only have yourself at the end of the day, you can trust others but you truly know yourself better than anyone else and know what's best for yourself... Distance makes the heart grow fonder etc.
Am i in the wrong? right? Where do I go from here?
Just continue with your life!
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