Confused about how my ex feels and I want her back

[Matt.N]

Hey there this is my first post here. I've struggled with this for a little while now so let me begin.
my ex and I were together for 3 years and moved to Toronto together back in May, unfortunately the financial situation went bad and living there became quite stressful we had a truly beautiful relationship and on multiple occasions we talked about how we were soul mates and wanted to get married. Then at the beginning of October things started to take a bit of a turn she became distant and then half way through the month she had a big anxiety attack regarding her life and where she was going and so on. As things went on we started having sex less and less she just wasn't interested and at the beginnng of November she told me she wanted to move back. We got in this big fight about it and I said no. A couple of weeks went by and I warmed up to the idea but now she wanted to stay but she was becoming very distant and around the 15th of November she told me she wanted to break up because she needed to "find herself" and wanted to travel and explore. She said she wanted to do it alone. For the remainder of the month I worked extremely hard on our relationship but it was decided I was moving home at the end of the month and she was going to stay in Toronto. For those last 2 weeks we didn' fight once and we went on multiple dates where she continued to tell me how much she loved me and she didn't think that our journey was done yet. Towards the last couple of days things became extremely emotional she told me that she still wanted to stay strong to her desicion but she didn' want to let me go and that she fell in love with me all over again in those last couple of weeks. When I finally was leaving to go to the airport she came with me and she broke down completely and started balling her eyes out in the airport. We missed passionatey and she told me that if I ever missed her that I could call her whenever I wanted and vice versa.

when I got back home things were different, we exchanged a couple long emails to eachother mine was confessing my deep love for her and hers was talking about how difficult it was to not have me but she still needed this time. As the month progressed we went no contact for about 3 weeks and one night she called me before Christmas to just check in. I was at a Christmas party and had a couple of drinks so the conversation took an emotional turn she was mad that I was liking other girls photos on social media and I told her that if she thought I was interested in anyone but her she was Dead wrong. Anyways the conversation didnt go great and she told me she still cared about me but never said I love you or I miss you.
on Christmas I sent her a present with 36 open when letters that were hand written. Things like open when you'e had a bad day or open when you booked your first trip or your feeling stressed and so on. Along with a necklace that had a ton of meaning to it. When she got the gift she called me crying and texted me after saying that she loved me and she loved the gift and that she missed me but after a few days went by we started talking less and less and she just became somewhay cold to me. So i stopped talking to her.
on new years eve she saw a photo on my Snapchat of me with another girl and she never asked me about it but she asked my friend because we have mutual friends she said "who is that girl Matt's with... actually it doesnt matter im hotter"
and the next day we ended up speaking on the phone i told her that I missed having her as my best friend and I wish she was still a part of my life. We talked as friends about our lives what was new and so on and then that was it. After a couple of days had gone by I finally started to get the feeling that she was moving on and I needed to as well because I spoke with my friend who lives with her and she said that she thought there was no chance of us getting back together only in the fact that every time she and I talked I was always asking about jade and whenever she and jade spoke, jade never asked about me. I never got brought up in conversation and she said that if jade was really missing me than I would probably be brought up more in conversation but I wasnt. So a couple days later I asked to FaceTime and she agreed so we got on FaceTime and I told her that in order for me to start moving on I needed to delete her off of everything, she was upset but understanding and so I asked her before I did that I said I have some questions and I want you to answer them as honestly as possible.
do you miss me? She said sometimes but no. And that she didn' miss the relationship.
do you love me? She said I love who you are but I am not in love with you.
have you moved on? She said not completely but she was moving on yes.

so based on those answers I said that I am in love with her and because she doesn' feel the same that I need to begin moving on. We both cried a little and she told me that she didn' want to never talk to me again but we agreed it was probably for the best that we don' talk.
lastly I asked her if she thought that our journey was done yet because for the last month she said that she didn' think it was but she answered with "only time will tell.." I said ouch and then preceded to begin my goodbyes.

when I hung up I deleted all of her photos and blocked her on everything. Now here' where it begins to hurt. She told me that because our love was so deep she wasn' leaving me to find someone new she wanted this time to find herself. And told me that it would be a long time before she began to date again. Well I made a tinder profile and set it to her location and there she was with the most provocative photos I had ever seen her post anywhere. It made my stomach sink so out of emotional blinding I screen shotted it and sent her the picture saying "nice pic".
I know it wasn' the right thing to do and I regret it but she replied with "we both know your on tinder too." I told her I was on to see if she was on and that I guess I got what I was looking for.
ahe told me she was going to block my number and then did.
a couple of days went by and we didn't talk at all, I was beginning to feel better and I had some friends over last night, one of which was this really hot girl who likes me and I know jade hated that she liked me. Well we all got a little drunk and my other friend asked if she could get a picture of us and then told us that we should kiss cause it would make for a cute picture. So we did but without my knowledge my other friend posted it to her social media and within a half an hour I got a message from jade. With a screenshot of the picture saying "awe. Cute."
I didn't reply and about 10 minutes later I got a seriously angry email from her saying

"Tonight I saw a picture of you and... blank!!! It was a gamble between blank or blank.
That will go well.

Anyways, I'm glad you moved on. I just didn't think it would be with her. You weren't asking me if I loved you because you wanted to see if we still had a chance you were asking me so that you could make sure you were making a good choice on blocking me and dating the girl who you called a "slut" throughout our relationship.

I'm hurt, probably not a good idea to send this email but I am going to anyway.

F*ck you
F*ck you
F*ck you.

Talk never."

needless to say reading this completely made me sick to my stomach and 2 hours later I sent her an email back its pretty long but it was on the lines of I asked you if you loved me because I needed to know if you still did. Don't try to make me feel bad about this because you broke up with me and you have no idea how it feels to hear from the one person you love most in the world "I don't love you, I don' miss you, I'm moving on"
and then there were some other points I made but I basically concluded the email with you lost the one person in the world who will love you most.
talk never I guess
Matt.

I know this was probably the longest post on here but I seriously need some advice. I love this girl more than anything in the entire world I and I would love nothing more than to get back together but i have no idea where she stands and no one to talk to about it who can give me some unbiased feedback. Please help as to what this all means and what she' feeling and if I have a chance of getting her back or if I need to just completely move on.
thank you so much for taking the time to read this I really appreciate it!!!
-matt

[suehtselrahc]

matt it seems to me that you love this woman, of that I have no doubt, but you in my humble opinion can't pass up an opportunity to hurt her, you punish her with the pictures that your friend sent to her. It is obvious to a blind man she wants a ring! Now all you want to do is rub the girl you love nose in it. Then you are really smart by sending her "fuck you" emails. Real mature big guy!
She wants your ATTENTION!

She travel all over for and with you, fell in love all over again with you! Broke down in the airport! and then you have to ask if, if, if...she still loved you, you are clueless.
By the way you need more friend like the one who sent her the picture "frat boy" prank, maybe he will get you in a bar fight next and you in up in jail!

[Matt.N]

I appreciate you taking the time to reply. J think you misread it though. She sent me the email saying fuck you to me. I did not say anything like that to her and I also never sent the photos to her she saw them on my friends Instagram page and screenshotted them and sent them to me with that email saying fuck you to me 3 times.
I don't want her to hurt at all. I also didn' know that my friend was intentionally going to post that photo online and before I knew that it was posted my ex already emailed me.

[suehtselrahc]

sorry matt I did misread about the fuck email however, after your friend sent the photo I think from her perspective she was hurt, if you and her were to cool down and talk I think you will find she will apologize for the fuck you email, but don't you see the email that she sent was emotional and if she did not care she would have said anything. Matt that email was sent by someone knowing it would cause pain if not then why would someone bother, they knew she would get upset.

please help stop hurting her!

[suehtselrahc]

who was on tender first? did you consider she was trying to get your attention? when you were having a difficult time in Toronto did you ever just listen instead of texting? yes texting? did you consider her while texting? look back at your texts doing that period and figure it out!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jerome]

Here is how you should act in front of your ex girlfriend when you want to impress her.

Don't get too emotional around your ex
Never let her see your emotions after you have broken up with her. If you show her your emotional vulnerability she will begin to feel bad for you but it won't be empathy...it is going to be pity that she feels. She will also find you desperate and clingy. So get a grip on your emotions when you are around your ex girlfriend.

Try and stay away from her
You also must try to stay as far as possible from your ex girlfriend. This will ensure that your ex misses you a little. It also helps in building up the curiosity factor about you. You don't always have to be present physically to leave an impression. Sometimes your absence will do all the talking.

Look like you are happy with your life
When you meet your ex you have to look like you are content and happy with your life. Your ex shouldn't feel that you have restricted yourself from going all out and enjoying your life just because you were ditched.

Don't become a serial dater
You do need to show your ex that you are moving on with your life but you also need to make her see that you are not a serial dater. Jump form one woman to another and your ex will be able to see that you are doing this only to make her feel jealous.

Don't talk disrespectfully of women
When you are around your ex never be disrespectful towards her or to other women. Never make her feel that you treat women like commodities or have no respect for them. Keep sexist remarks at bay and your ex girlfriend will be very impressed with you.

Use humor to make her laugh
Make your ex feel like all is alright by making her laugh. When she sees that despite the break up you have managed to keep your sense of humor intact she will begin to get impressed with you. This will also help in bringing her closer to you,

Don't talk explicitly about your feelings
No matter how tempted you are you must never let your ex girlfriend see what you really feel about her. Be patient with the way you want her to feel for you and unless she talks to you about her feelings for you never confess how you feel about her.

[suehtselrahc]

thank you Jerome this is good advice! perfect!

[Rachael]

The signs that indicate that she still has strong feelings for you are:

She calls you often just to talk.

Let's face it, we've all been through break ups that we wanted. Once a relationship ends and you're ready for it to be over, there's a sense of relief. The last thing you want is to talk to that person again. That's why it's such a positive sign if your ex girlfriend is calling you just to see how you are. This indicates that she's having trouble letting go of the emotional connection she feels for you.

She asks your friends how you are.

Anytime your ex girlfriend shows genuine concern for your well being, it's a clear sign that she still cares for you. If one of your friends or a family member mentions that they spoke with your ex and she asked about you, that means she's having trouble moving on.

She is curious about your dating status.

Many women are skilled at being subtle when asking about this so pay special attention when you're talking with your ex. If she asks what you've been up to lately or if you've met anyone interesting those are both her way of trying to find out if there's a new woman in the picture. Be careful with how you answer this if your goal is to get her back. If she knows that you have someone new, she may lose all interest in you.

She runs into you accidentally often.

Life is obviously full of coincidences, but running into an ex lover continually isn't one of them. If she suddenly appears at places she knows you're likely to be, she's doing that on purpose. Take that as a sign that she misses you.

She asks you to be friends.

Many men don't see the significance in this but it's important not to overlook it. If a woman you were dating wants to remain friends after the break up, it's because she's still in love with you. She's looking to keep some sort of connection alive and in her mind, friends is better than nothing.

[suehtselrahc]

well I want to thank everybody for not attacking and insulting the ex girl friend! I appreciate the very mature answers everyone gave. I think people see the hard work put into the relationship.
sure the girlfriend made mistakes trying to get his attention by placing a misguided picture on tinder however she was broken at the time, and then she gets this "whore" slammed in my face by his friends!

just have a nice life!