It can’t be this Hard

[Army91L]

Hi Everyone,

So I’m gonna down and dirty with this one. I’m Male 33 with 3 kids. I had my first 2 kids with my ex wife and my last kid with my current girl of 2 years. I was with my ex through high school and got married after. Things started to go bad and I wasn’t getting the attention I wanted and cheated on here for about a year. Got divorced and now barely speak. I have Been with my current girl going one 2 Year’s with a ten month old baby. I’m in the military so I leave one weekend a month. Just recently got appointed to a position where I’m in charge of an ex girl friend. My girl flipped. Told me to not come home and to quit. Doesn’t work like that.evertime I go away it’s an issue and she always threatens to leave me. I’ve just had it. I’m so afraid of being alone that I pretty much beg to stay even when I know it isn’t right. I can seem to win at the game of love. Any advice out there I’d love to hear it. This is toxic and it’s making me a worse person.

Thanks for liatening

[Sammy]

A girlfriend's decision to leave hardly ever "comes from nowhere." It probably has taken a lot of time probably months or years of contemplation before this idea came into fruition and, for certain, not without her internally struggling against it.

It can be devastating for both parties, especially when there are kids involved, but many relationships can still be saved. It would, however, take a lot of effort to convince her to stay.

Look at things from her point of view.
A husband's first step to salvaging the relationship is to try to understand how his girlfriend feels and thinks. It is not just finding out what one has done that led to this situation, it is also figuring out what has not been done, what has been left out, what has been taken for granted.

Get your act together.
In this kind of difficulty, it is often easier to stay out, be with friends, go drinking, or bury yourself in work. But escaping won't help patch up the relationship. Instead, a man needs to be a man in this situation. His presence alone could make the difference.

Be attractive to her once more.
How did things go downhill when everything seemed so perfect before? What made it so perfect before in the first place? Perhaps it is time that the husband tries to go back to being the man she married or be the boyfriend that she used to see. He need not put up an act to impress - it could be as subtle as helping clean up the table or opening doors for her once more.

Shun the immaturity.
Begging and pleading will not exactly impress or convince her into staying. If anything, it would only push her away. Instead, the husband must show level-headedness and maturity.

Give her some space.
At this point, her mind and heart are in turmoil. Allow her some breathing space to let her to calm down and consider her own decision. And let her see reasons why she should change her mind... because her husband loves her and cares for her.

Give her more affection.
A woman is like a rose. She will wilt if she isn't showered with ample affection. To prevent separation from ever occurring, make sure that you give her adequate time and that you let her hear and feel that you truly love her-and none else.

Tell her that you don't want her to leave.
Simply put, you can actually stop her from actually leaving. Make her realize that you would be willing to sit down and discuss the concerns with her. Let her know that you will give her more respect and time-if these are the things that she requires you to give.

[Sofia]

Surprise Your Partner - Although it is important to build and stick with your daily or weekly routine, one important long distance relationship advice you should not forget is to surprise them once in a while. It would make them feel that you constantly think of your partner even during those times that you do not have any planned talks or meet ups. Plan Your Cyber Dates - Being apart does not mean you can no longer have a date. You can always pretend that you are together. While on Skype or on a video call on Facebook or Google, set the mood by playing some romantic music and adjust the light for a more romantic mood. Both of you will surely enjoy this and would make your love stronger.