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So I was dating this guy off and on for 6yrs. We got along great and really enjoyed being with each other but whenever things got really good he’d distance himself. A few times I’d mention it and he’d blow it off like it was nothing and he’s just busy and I’d accept this answer and we start to see each other regularly until he did it again. Always I would start back up the connection. Even one time I suggested that we have a more committed relationship and he said he wasn’t ready. I ended things for about 5 months then returned again once I missed him (and tired of the guy I was dating after I left him). Then in 2016 something changed. I got tired of the routine and decided I wasn’t going to run after him. He started to distance himself, as usual, but this time I jus let him go. I’m sure he expected I’d come back because I always did but I didn’t. I was fed up of him never pursuing me. During the time I was without him I enrolled in school, worked out more, focused on my self, and enjoyed my life. A year and a half later he reached out to me. It was through social media (we remained friends on all social media sites) and we got back to talking. I admit I missed him terribly and I was happy to hear from him. He asked me out and I accepted. It was like old times. We decided to be serious with our relationship and everything was great. He initiated dates and talked about us doing things in the future. He would even surprise me with gifts. 7 months later he began to distance himself again. This time I was much more vocal about it. Telling him he needs to communicate instead of just running off. I don’t mind giving him space but it’s wrong to just disappear without notice. He apologize but then did it again a week later. This time I confronted him with more determination. That’s when he admitted that he’s been seeing someone else for a few months. He said she’s a regular good person (like me, he says) and she has a job, is clean, and doesn’t do hard drugs. He said he believes it is possible to like/love more than one person at a time and he feels that we are both a great match for him for different reasons. He said he’d love to keep seeing me. He said I may never want to see him again but at least he’s being honest. I responded that I appreciate his honesty but when I’m content with someone I feel no need to look for anyone else so I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone that needs to be with someone else. I wished them the best and said goodbye. The next day when what actually happened settled in, I sent him an email telling him off. I won’t go into ever detail but I basically asked why did he come back just to do that to me. I called him selfish and said he never cared about me blah blah blah. It wasn’t intended to get him to feel anything. I just wanted to let it all out to help me feel relief. I even told him not to bother to reply (and he didn’t). I am very happy with my decision and I have no desire to change my mind. The problem is I’m so angry I find it hard to sleep and focus on other things. Any suggestions on how I can get pass this anger? And I am angry with myself also for being a sucker in the pass. I truly loved him and naively thought he just had intimacy issues.
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