Feeling depressed over break-up. Help me.

[tenderman32]

I’m at the point of my life now where I don’t feel like living anymore. I feel like I’m a lost cause after my girlfriend decided to call it off. It’s been months since things ended between us but I’m still not over her. Not by a long shot. Each day I just feel worse. I don’t think I will be able to recover from the grief. I just feel so depressed and lost.


I still remember meeting her for the first time in that foreign dating event. She got my attention the moment we started talking. Since then, I’ve imagined a future with her. I thought that that was it. I already found the one. Turns out I was wrong. How do I move on? How do I forget someone whom I was already planning to share my life with? How??

[Lost 73]

I suggest seeking a therapist. but time heals all wounds. But Yes seek a therapist it is not a bad thing it helped my after my 14 year marriage ended

[Zinok]

Therapy, for sure.
That, and like... maybe some casual sex.

[Terry]

If you are trying to figure out how to move on after a break up, the very first thing you want to do is to make absolutely certain the relationship is over. Has it ended for good? Is there any chance the two of you can get back together?

It is not unusual for people to break up on the spur of the moment (many times over inconsequential issues) and then almost immediately regret their decision to break up. Sometimes people just need a little space to briefly step away from a relationship and put it into perspective.

And, to use an age-old analogy, sometimes "the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence". When couples start taking each other for granted, they sometimes fail to appreciate what a wonderful relationship they might have if they would simply make a reasonable effort at making it work.

Once you are convinced that the relationship is over, you will need to come to grips with how to move on after a break up. This process manifests itself differently with every person from every broken relationship. However, there are certain actions that you should consider taking.

...1...

Get your ex's things out of your life. Get your personal stuff back from your ex and give back your ex's personal stuff. Minor items (such as toothbrushes) can simply be tossed in the trash. HINT: Remember to get rid of your trash ASAP.

...2...

You want to minimize everything in your life that reminds you of your ex. For example, your ex may have given you gifts that have enough value you don't want to put them in the trash. But, you also do not want them laying around as a constant reminder of your past relationship. Store those items in your attic until enough time has passed that they do not cause painful memories.

...3...

One of the keys in understanding how to move on after a break up is to be aware that each time you communicate with your ex you take a step backward. You need to take time to heal and you will be more successful without your ex in your life at this time. You might, at some point in the future, be able to be "just friends"; however, right now you need time without your ex. This means casual meetings, no phone calls, no emails, and no text messages. No need to be rude, simply make a clean break so that you can begin the healing process.

...4...

Solitude is the enemy. You might feel like staying at home with the curtains closed feeling bad about your break up. Don't! Get out and socialize with friends and family. If you don't have friends and family nearby, get out and about so that you can make new friends. Your church, the local day center for the homeless, your favorite bar - there are lots of places to engage with others in a productive manner.

Of course, these are just some of many ideas about how to move on after a breakup. While your particular situation is unique, you should consider the manner in which you can use each of these ideas to get on with your life. I wish you well!