Ex is asking about me when I became single. She's with someone. I still love her.

[Gumie]

Two and a half years ago I (30/M) was with my ex(35/F), I wasn't ready and ended up asking for time apart. It didn't end terrible but could have been better. We definitely left things unsaid. We both moved on, yet I never stopped loving her, or have felt the same about anyone. I went through a very rough relationship and believe learned and grew as a person.

I'm aware, throughout the two and a half years, she would check on my family and ask about me, showing great concern beyond what I believe is normal. She was aware I was single before my family even knew. Within 2 weeks she had a movie date with my cousin, even as to go out of her way to make contact with me in person. We spoke briefly, had a short conversation and even got emotional. Still so many things needed to be said. Throughout the next few months, once or twice a week she'll ask about me to my aunt and cousin mainly, what I'm doing. "who is he at the movies with? I'm worried he's going to start dating, I'm confused and torn, I've never felt for my boyfriend as I did for him, I've never broken up with anyone before, I had the chance to break up but couldn't do it." She's never mentioned anything of the sort as, she's happy with the boyfriend, loves him, wants to be with him.

She is a sincere, good, honest person, she doesn't want to hurt her boyfriend, or maybe even deal with it. Yet, from what I've mentioned and from her actions it seems she doesn't love him. I know it's more complicated then that. She hasn't attempted to make contact directly with me, but does post things on Facebook publicly now, which she didn't do before. I'm sure I'm overthinking. Very bad habit of mine.

I will neither attempt to contact her or pressure her. I assume it would make it more difficult on her, stress her out. I've made enough mistakes in my life and am doing my best to make better choices. I love her, I've never stopped so I wouldn't want to burden her more then what she's already dealing with. If there is a chance for us again, she's worth it. It has to be a clean healthy start. Yet I'm at a standstill, wanting to wait. It hurts everyday, unclear if I'm waiting for something or nothing.

Daily, I do positive things, my normal daily life, work, hobbies, exercise, and hangout with friends. It's still so hard to pull myself away from thinking of her. Only conclusion for me is to be patient. Anyone been in a similar situation or have advice would greatly help.

Thank you.

[bunnyhabit]

since she is involved with your family there is nothing wrong with you communicating with her in a unromantic way. showing an interest in her lifestyle and happiness may be a good ice breaker. later on you can inquire about her boyfriend treatment of her i would not do for a while till you see how she responds to your platonic convos. i am sure you will sense from her responses if the doors to reconciliation are open or closed. i assume you had reasonably normal sexual relations with her and she is doing so for her current lover. this is always a crucial juncture for a rekindling of feelings by a woman from my experience.

[Gumie]

Thank you, she seems against contacting me directly. She did so once through a text, felt bad and regretted it, same for the first in person talk we had. "Now I feel bad because of my boyfriend I didn't know I was going to see you." But she did and knew I was there. Even breaking down crying "I've missed you so much" She feels like she's cheating by any contact with me at all.

Thank you for responding.

[Clay]

Her asking about you from your family members shows she is still into you. So, if you still truly love her, don't be scared to tell her how you feel about her. I'm sure she will be glad to be with you again.

[Judith]

There are actually some signs in a woman's behavior that indicate that she's still in love, even after a split.

One of the telltale signs your ex girlfriend still loves you is her inability to let you go. If a woman is completely done with a relationship she likely won't want to remain friends. If your ex has expressed an interest in being your friend or if she seems to always want to talk, you can rest assured that she's definitely feeling something for you. She wants to keep the connection alive, even if it's just on a friendship level for now. That's a very good sign and shouldn't be overlooked.

If your ex seems curious about your current dating status that's another of the signs she's still in love with you. If she was over you she wouldn't care who you were seeing. If she asks whether there's anyone new or wonders what you've been doing and who it involves, you can take heart. She's still harboring some strong feelings for you and isn't ready to let go of you just yet. Once a woman is completely over a man she actually wants him to be with someone else.

[Gumie]

Thank you for taking time out of your day to help a stranger in need. It really helps me get though this tough time. Great feedback.
Thank you.