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Hi All,
Please can anyone offer me some advise. I am not sure if I should break up with my girlfriend or not?
I am obviously confused, that is why I am here.
A brief history. It has always been a dream of mine to have a happy family. About 12 years ago my wife and I had a baby, and then my wife died. I was obviously crushed and have still not fully recovered. My son and I have an amazing relationship.
I dated a bit, but I never found somone who I thought I could marry and live with forever. Until about 2.5 years ago, I met my girlfriend. We just clicked, same sense of humour, values, everything. I think she is gorgeous, and we have amazing sexual chemistry.
I was in heaven with her, and have been certain we would marry and live together. We talked about it. Only problem was we lived in different cities, about 35 min apart. So finally after much discussions we decided my son and I would move to her city because her work tied her to there. She has 2 young kids too. It was very difficult choice because I felt guilty moving my son to a new school etc.
Just before this, my girlfriend got a new job, but more about this later.
Being very conflicted, filled with guilt about moving my son, I made a rash decision I regret. I broke up with her and moved my son and I to another country. The main reasons is because my son wanted to move (it's where our direct family are) so I thought the support would be good for him. Also, the education in that county is better. However, after 5 months my son and I agreed we both preferred our old country, so decided to move back.
I contacted my girlfriend, and told her I was never out of love with her, but wanted to do the right thing for my son. This is what I told her when we left too. I asked of she would take me back. She said yes.
So we came back 4.5 months ago, and now live 10 minutes from her. My son has a new school etc.
Getting back to about when she started her new job. I believe this is when our relationship started to deteriorate. We did not laugh as much, and I think she is always stressed. I think this, had an impact on my decision to leave the country.
Whenever I try talk to her about this, saying I think her job really stresses her, and gives her very little time, she says nonsense. She says I am just being critical of her and she says I make her feel like she's not good enough. So now I feel like I cannot say anything about it because it causes a huge argument.
I do feel like she never has any time or energy for our relationship any more. We hardly ever laugh, we used to laugh all the time. I feel she is always on edge and all we talk about is her work. I don't think she has asked me a question about my life in months.
Secondly, we were planning on moving in together before we moved overseas. After we have been back we talked about it too. But because I said I feel neglected because her work takes a lot of her time and energy, I think she has put her moving in together thoughts on hold.
My son and I are have been staying in a horrible little flat now for 4.5 months even though I own a beautiful house where we used to live, just so I can be close to her. My son and I would prefer to love where we used to live and he go to his old school. But I feel we are waiting on her to decide if we will live together. Our lives are in limbo.
I am conflicted. I want a family, I want to live with her. I am in love with her and admire her. However, I can't put my son and my life on hold indefinitely. Also, I feel she doesn't have time for me anyway. When we talk about it, she says when we live together we will have more time together.
I have tried to discuss my dilemma with her, but again, she says I accuse her of not being good enough.
I know I hurt her by breaking up and moving overseas, and am grateful that she too me back. I have always loved her and wanted a family with her. I have tried talking to her, but feel it just pushes us apart.
Please help me, should I break up and move back to my old city my son and I prefer? Or is she worth waiting for?
Thank you
Please can anyone offer me some advise. I am not sure if I should break up with my girlfriend or not?
I am obviously confused, that is why I am here.
A brief history. It has always been a dream of mine to have a happy family. About 12 years ago my wife and I had a baby, and then my wife died. I was obviously crushed and have still not fully recovered. My son and I have an amazing relationship.
I dated a bit, but I never found somone who I thought I could marry and live with forever. Until about 2.5 years ago, I met my girlfriend. We just clicked, same sense of humour, values, everything. I think she is gorgeous, and we have amazing sexual chemistry.
I was in heaven with her, and have been certain we would marry and live together. We talked about it. Only problem was we lived in different cities, about 35 min apart. So finally after much discussions we decided my son and I would move to her city because her work tied her to there. She has 2 young kids too. It was very difficult choice because I felt guilty moving my son to a new school etc.
Just before this, my girlfriend got a new job, but more about this later.
Being very conflicted, filled with guilt about moving my son, I made a rash decision I regret. I broke up with her and moved my son and I to another country. The main reasons is because my son wanted to move (it's where our direct family are) so I thought the support would be good for him. Also, the education in that county is better. However, after 5 months my son and I agreed we both preferred our old country, so decided to move back.
I contacted my girlfriend, and told her I was never out of love with her, but wanted to do the right thing for my son. This is what I told her when we left too. I asked of she would take me back. She said yes.
So we came back 4.5 months ago, and now live 10 minutes from her. My son has a new school etc.
Getting back to about when she started her new job. I believe this is when our relationship started to deteriorate. We did not laugh as much, and I think she is always stressed. I think this, had an impact on my decision to leave the country.
Whenever I try talk to her about this, saying I think her job really stresses her, and gives her very little time, she says nonsense. She says I am just being critical of her and she says I make her feel like she's not good enough. So now I feel like I cannot say anything about it because it causes a huge argument.
I do feel like she never has any time or energy for our relationship any more. We hardly ever laugh, we used to laugh all the time. I feel she is always on edge and all we talk about is her work. I don't think she has asked me a question about my life in months.
Secondly, we were planning on moving in together before we moved overseas. After we have been back we talked about it too. But because I said I feel neglected because her work takes a lot of her time and energy, I think she has put her moving in together thoughts on hold.
My son and I are have been staying in a horrible little flat now for 4.5 months even though I own a beautiful house where we used to live, just so I can be close to her. My son and I would prefer to love where we used to live and he go to his old school. But I feel we are waiting on her to decide if we will live together. Our lives are in limbo.
I am conflicted. I want a family, I want to live with her. I am in love with her and admire her. However, I can't put my son and my life on hold indefinitely. Also, I feel she doesn't have time for me anyway. When we talk about it, she says when we live together we will have more time together.
I have tried to discuss my dilemma with her, but again, she says I accuse her of not being good enough.
I know I hurt her by breaking up and moving overseas, and am grateful that she too me back. I have always loved her and wanted a family with her. I have tried talking to her, but feel it just pushes us apart.
Please help me, should I break up and move back to my old city my son and I prefer? Or is she worth waiting for?
Thank you
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