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Hi everyone, I’m new to this site so apologises if I do anything wrong. I really need some input. It’s a long story, so I’ll try and make it quick.
After 7, amazing, amazing months my long distance boyfriend and I broke up. There was quite a lot of arguing but despite it all we loved eachother and worked through them. However eventually, I guess the arguments took a toll on him as towards the end there was so many, and he did the thing I’d never expect him to do. Left.
I begged. I pleaded. This pushed him further away. He couldn’t be with someone so “negative” anymore. Eventually after a week of begging, I stopped contact as I was so exhausted.
12 days later he messaged me, and we began talking again and soon, after a slight convincing from me, got back together.
Things were fine for like, 12 hours.
He had began talking to other girls in the time we were apart, but the whole 7 months we were together there was never anyone else. However he kept saying they weren’t friends at all, he didn’t want friends and he only wanted people to chat with, as we were long distance and couldn’t always talk to me. (This was all on Snapchat by the way, not real life.)
Jealously very quickly began to set in, if he took a few minutes to reply I’d freak out knowing he was talking to other people which brought up old arguments. He became distraught that I didn’t trust him. The third day into our new “relationship” I asked for his snapchat password. He refused to give it to me, saying it was his personal business.
At that point when I asked we had already spent all the time we were back together arguing, and he said several times he couldn’t take the relationship seriously and was on the verge of leaving if I didn’t stop trying to control him. I just felt so helpless, like I had competition. He was never talking to people before, so why now? No matter what I did he wouldn’t stop talking to them, I kept saying how uncomfortable it made me, but he kept saying I wouldn’t let him be himself and I was being controlling. But, he was snapping other girls shirtless! Yes I knew he always lounged around his house shirtless, I was fine with that, but how would he of liked it if I snapped other people in my bra.
As soon as he said his password was personal, this completely set off crazy mode for me, as if my mind hadn’t gone crazy enough from all of this. I set up a fake Snapchat account and downloaded an app to send snaps from with another girls pictures. I did this as soon as me and him had another huge argument about how I didn’t trust him. His final words were “Trust in a relationship is the most important thing and we don’t have it because of you. It’s hard to take us seriously right now, and I swear if you act like this one more time I’m leaving you, and I won’t even say goodbye”
This comment didn’t surprise me, I really pushed him to the edge. So yeah, after the argument he left for a few hours to see his family. This is when I started snapping him with the fake account, and after a while of talking I asked if he had a girlfriend. He said yes and revealed every single detail there was about me, it was almost like a cry for help. He was telling “me” about our break up, how we got back together and now all I was doing was questioning the relationship, making empty promises. It really broke my heart to see that.
However I did not stop the flirting with him, and I acted the way I knew exactly what would lead him into bed. After a few hours, and the fake account basically “begging” him to do it, he started sending a few body pictures. He refused to meet up with the fake account but agreed he would only “play” around on this. Even said how the fake account would have to be “good” if it wanted to have competition with ME as I made him feel so good (Oh yeah, I tried to get the fake account to get him to leave me too, he kept saying we’d see, as he said I only had one more chance.) I felt sick. How could he do this to me? I know me and him nearly ended earlier, but wow.
As soon as the fake account said “So, what would your girlfriend think about all this?” He said “She probably wouldn’t be happy. This is so bad, I’ve gone beyond caring though.”
I decided to scare him a little and said “Well, you told me everything about her, wouldn’t be hard to find her on Facebook..”
He then immediately blocked the fake account. When ME and him began messaging again, I decided to be perfect and not act jealous at all until I decided was the right time to tell him. He seemed distant over text, but on phone calls everything was perfect. We felt happy and in love again.
However I couldn’t hide it forever, and had to tell him I knew what he did. After four days of us being perfectly happy again, I told him I received a message from this girl. I didn’t have to say anymore. Immediately he spilled out the whole truth, saying how sorry he was and how shit he felt. He said he was going to tell me eventually when we were definitely happy again, as he thought he would of had more of a chance of forgiveness. He said this would never happen in real life, it was only over the phone, and he did it because he felt like such a mess because of how he thought he was going to leave me this morning.
He understood if I left him, but if I stayed he said trust would be important and I would still have to allow him his freedom, as not allowing this is what broke us up the first 7 months. As he had forgiven me for lots of horrible things I did before, I forgave him. He promised me no matter what happened, something like this would never happen again. It never would of happened if we weren’t so close to leaving eachother, also.
Oddly enough, I did trust him. It’s like I knew in my gut he wouldn’t do it again, and I knew he had never done it before. Now, everything we’ve been through just made us want eachother more. Things, for another few days, were once again perfect. We were no longer distant, and the thought of it now still gives me butterflies.
This was short lasted. For two days he was too tired to have a phone call, and just wanted to text for a little bit before he fell asleep after a long day at work. And once again, my jealously set in. He was still snapping people when we should of been talking. Still shirtless. (I don’t know weather or not that’s important, but surely that’s slightly sexual. I don’t know.) and my jealously set in again. I was so unhappy those two days as we literally hardly talked, and I thought he was giving other people more attention. Weather he was or not I’ll never know, looking back I guess I should have been okay with that, considering we were only In our “new” relationship for not even a full two weeks, I guess I shouldn’t have asked for or expected anything..
Immediately he left, he said after everything we’ve been through and I still can’t trust him and all I want to do is control him. I was shocked. After his “cheating” I thought I’d have more chances, but obviously not. I didn’t beg this time, as I knew it would get me no where.
A day later he messaged me and asked if I wanted to be friends. I politely refused this offer and said right now it would hurt too much as I loved him. He said he understood and wished me all the best.
It’s now been three days since our second breakup. I deeply, deeply regret everything I did. I know I went crazy, and I expect any of you, (if you’re kind enough to reply) to tell me that. I truly miss him and want to be with him, but I know if I wanted another chance I’d need to work on myself.
I’ve taken up a few hobbies, and I’m seeing a counsellor about my jealously and trust issues. I also have ordered books online about relationships, exes, jealously, insecurities, trust issues, how to trust again. Really everything.
I want to work on myself. Deep down I know I’d be able to earn another chance from him, but I don’t know if I can do that to myself. I can’t handle the heartbreak again, if he’d rather spend more time with other people than me. (I’m sure that’s not true, I just don’t appreciate him having other conversations on Snapchat with other people while I’m also texting him. That’s headwrecking.) Also, I don’t know after the fake account incident if that would always be playing on my mind. Again, this is why I want to work on myself.
I guess I’m basically asking. Would you be able to trust him if you were me. Would you be willing to give him another chance? (If he would take me back, but if he would.)
Thank you so much everyone, for any replies you give.
After 7, amazing, amazing months my long distance boyfriend and I broke up. There was quite a lot of arguing but despite it all we loved eachother and worked through them. However eventually, I guess the arguments took a toll on him as towards the end there was so many, and he did the thing I’d never expect him to do. Left.
I begged. I pleaded. This pushed him further away. He couldn’t be with someone so “negative” anymore. Eventually after a week of begging, I stopped contact as I was so exhausted.
12 days later he messaged me, and we began talking again and soon, after a slight convincing from me, got back together.
Things were fine for like, 12 hours.
He had began talking to other girls in the time we were apart, but the whole 7 months we were together there was never anyone else. However he kept saying they weren’t friends at all, he didn’t want friends and he only wanted people to chat with, as we were long distance and couldn’t always talk to me. (This was all on Snapchat by the way, not real life.)
Jealously very quickly began to set in, if he took a few minutes to reply I’d freak out knowing he was talking to other people which brought up old arguments. He became distraught that I didn’t trust him. The third day into our new “relationship” I asked for his snapchat password. He refused to give it to me, saying it was his personal business.
At that point when I asked we had already spent all the time we were back together arguing, and he said several times he couldn’t take the relationship seriously and was on the verge of leaving if I didn’t stop trying to control him. I just felt so helpless, like I had competition. He was never talking to people before, so why now? No matter what I did he wouldn’t stop talking to them, I kept saying how uncomfortable it made me, but he kept saying I wouldn’t let him be himself and I was being controlling. But, he was snapping other girls shirtless! Yes I knew he always lounged around his house shirtless, I was fine with that, but how would he of liked it if I snapped other people in my bra.
As soon as he said his password was personal, this completely set off crazy mode for me, as if my mind hadn’t gone crazy enough from all of this. I set up a fake Snapchat account and downloaded an app to send snaps from with another girls pictures. I did this as soon as me and him had another huge argument about how I didn’t trust him. His final words were “Trust in a relationship is the most important thing and we don’t have it because of you. It’s hard to take us seriously right now, and I swear if you act like this one more time I’m leaving you, and I won’t even say goodbye”
This comment didn’t surprise me, I really pushed him to the edge. So yeah, after the argument he left for a few hours to see his family. This is when I started snapping him with the fake account, and after a while of talking I asked if he had a girlfriend. He said yes and revealed every single detail there was about me, it was almost like a cry for help. He was telling “me” about our break up, how we got back together and now all I was doing was questioning the relationship, making empty promises. It really broke my heart to see that.
However I did not stop the flirting with him, and I acted the way I knew exactly what would lead him into bed. After a few hours, and the fake account basically “begging” him to do it, he started sending a few body pictures. He refused to meet up with the fake account but agreed he would only “play” around on this. Even said how the fake account would have to be “good” if it wanted to have competition with ME as I made him feel so good (Oh yeah, I tried to get the fake account to get him to leave me too, he kept saying we’d see, as he said I only had one more chance.) I felt sick. How could he do this to me? I know me and him nearly ended earlier, but wow.
As soon as the fake account said “So, what would your girlfriend think about all this?” He said “She probably wouldn’t be happy. This is so bad, I’ve gone beyond caring though.”
I decided to scare him a little and said “Well, you told me everything about her, wouldn’t be hard to find her on Facebook..”
He then immediately blocked the fake account. When ME and him began messaging again, I decided to be perfect and not act jealous at all until I decided was the right time to tell him. He seemed distant over text, but on phone calls everything was perfect. We felt happy and in love again.
However I couldn’t hide it forever, and had to tell him I knew what he did. After four days of us being perfectly happy again, I told him I received a message from this girl. I didn’t have to say anymore. Immediately he spilled out the whole truth, saying how sorry he was and how shit he felt. He said he was going to tell me eventually when we were definitely happy again, as he thought he would of had more of a chance of forgiveness. He said this would never happen in real life, it was only over the phone, and he did it because he felt like such a mess because of how he thought he was going to leave me this morning.
He understood if I left him, but if I stayed he said trust would be important and I would still have to allow him his freedom, as not allowing this is what broke us up the first 7 months. As he had forgiven me for lots of horrible things I did before, I forgave him. He promised me no matter what happened, something like this would never happen again. It never would of happened if we weren’t so close to leaving eachother, also.
Oddly enough, I did trust him. It’s like I knew in my gut he wouldn’t do it again, and I knew he had never done it before. Now, everything we’ve been through just made us want eachother more. Things, for another few days, were once again perfect. We were no longer distant, and the thought of it now still gives me butterflies.
This was short lasted. For two days he was too tired to have a phone call, and just wanted to text for a little bit before he fell asleep after a long day at work. And once again, my jealously set in. He was still snapping people when we should of been talking. Still shirtless. (I don’t know weather or not that’s important, but surely that’s slightly sexual. I don’t know.) and my jealously set in again. I was so unhappy those two days as we literally hardly talked, and I thought he was giving other people more attention. Weather he was or not I’ll never know, looking back I guess I should have been okay with that, considering we were only In our “new” relationship for not even a full two weeks, I guess I shouldn’t have asked for or expected anything..
Immediately he left, he said after everything we’ve been through and I still can’t trust him and all I want to do is control him. I was shocked. After his “cheating” I thought I’d have more chances, but obviously not. I didn’t beg this time, as I knew it would get me no where.
A day later he messaged me and asked if I wanted to be friends. I politely refused this offer and said right now it would hurt too much as I loved him. He said he understood and wished me all the best.
It’s now been three days since our second breakup. I deeply, deeply regret everything I did. I know I went crazy, and I expect any of you, (if you’re kind enough to reply) to tell me that. I truly miss him and want to be with him, but I know if I wanted another chance I’d need to work on myself.
I’ve taken up a few hobbies, and I’m seeing a counsellor about my jealously and trust issues. I also have ordered books online about relationships, exes, jealously, insecurities, trust issues, how to trust again. Really everything.
I want to work on myself. Deep down I know I’d be able to earn another chance from him, but I don’t know if I can do that to myself. I can’t handle the heartbreak again, if he’d rather spend more time with other people than me. (I’m sure that’s not true, I just don’t appreciate him having other conversations on Snapchat with other people while I’m also texting him. That’s headwrecking.) Also, I don’t know after the fake account incident if that would always be playing on my mind. Again, this is why I want to work on myself.
I guess I’m basically asking. Would you be able to trust him if you were me. Would you be willing to give him another chance? (If he would take me back, but if he would.)
Thank you so much everyone, for any replies you give.
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