Had A Whassap Chat With My Ex After No Contact Period

[Gloria]

I've just had a whassap chat with my ex after I sent a good memories text this morning having passed the no contact . He asked if I was with someone else as he assumed it because I signed off the dating site( has he been investigating ?) I told him I was just getting way too many messages and it was annoying me. He told me he is intrigued with my new life but he doesn´t mention anything about being just friends.do you think it would be better to wait to see how we feel when we meet to bring that or is not really necessary? I dont want to hold a lot of hopes but I cant help as he is so nice with me

[Rachael]

One of the many pieces of advice given is to not talk to your ex after the relationship breakup. This piece of advice is a sound one. It protects you from increasing levels of misunderstanding, anger and resentment.

At this point you should have acquired some composure. You have practiced the no contact rule allowing yourself to focus on other elements of your life. You have also reduced a feeling of neediness, desperation and victimization.

So how do you know the time is right for you to make a move back to your ex? And what specific actions and mindset do you need to do this effectively?

The Time is Right to Talk to Your Ex When...

When the following conditions apply, you can consider contacting your ex:

• No contract rule done for at least one month.
• You've done some hard thinking about you, your relationship and your ex.
• You have minimized feelings of resentment and anger.
• You've worked on and found areas to improve the quality of your life without your ex. These could be your job, your fitness level, family, friends, etc.
• You have a greater sense of independence and confidence.

How to Reconnect


The best way is a simple phone call. You simply try to call your ex when you believe they will be able to talk privately. Keep the conversation light and fun. The goal is to just get in his presence.

Meet somewhere for coffee or lunch. Specify date, time and location. Plan this about a week in advance.

You are looking for the kind of meeting which can be quick. You don't want at this stage for negative memories to rear their ugly heads. Have an idea of what you plan to say during your meeting. Again, the topic should be a fun memory from the past. Keep it light and upbeat.

[Terry]

So what happens after the no contact rule? That has been a pretty vague topic in the past. I'm going to give you three of the main scenarios of what happens after the no contact rule.

1. Your ex contacts you.

2. You contact your ex.

3. You decide that you really don't want your ex back and he or she was just really no good for you at all.

All three of these scenarios all really boils down to what you want after no contact. Actually, it all boils down to whether you think your ex is worth getting back or not.

Now, if you're ex contacts you during the no contact rule this can be a good thing. It definitely puts you in a better position than if you have to break no contact and reconnect with them yourself. This is especially true if you were the one who was broken up with.

One and three can go hand in hand. You could've decided during no contact that your ex just wasn't worth getting back whatsoever. When the dust settles from the emotional pain of a breakup, quite a few people do realize that they don't want their ex back after all, and there's nothing wrong with that.

However, it can be a lucky break for you if you really do desire them back and your ex contacts you first. Why is that? Because the ball is really in your court now.

Note: I said a lucky break here. Just because they contact you may not mean they want to jump back into a relationship with you again. They may have really missed you and aren't ready to completely have you out of their lives yet. In other words, you still have to re-attract your ex again. Yes, you can mess it up. Unfortunately, a lot of people do.

However, if you decide that your ex is truly worth getting back, and you've followed all the steps during the no contact rule period, option 2 of contacting your ex is necessary if they haven't contacted you. Remember, you end no contact when you're completely ready and have rid of those nasty breakup emotions.

How do you do this? How do you break no contact after the no contact rule? Should you email your ex? Should you call? Should you write a letter? I have one word for you and that's "text." Not just any old text will do. It has to intrigue them enough to respond!

[Paul]

I believe you still have a chance to get him back.