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Hi all, I really need some advice here as I'm going out of my mind on this situation.
It's a LOOOOOOONG story so I won't go into all details in this first post, but in a nutshell I have been seeing a girl for a few months now. I'm 26 and she is 24 if it matters.
At first things were a bit uncertain between us as she wasn't sure how she felt about getting into a relationship, but as time went on things became more and more positive.
In the last few weeks she has literally been talking about booking a holiday together, been staying at my place multiple nights a week, leaving things like clothing and makeup remover at my place so she can stay over whenever (we've often met up after work for dinner etc... without actually planning to spend the night together, but one thing leads to another...) and she asked to meet my parents the other day which I arranged. Point is, everything was going extremely well and we both seemed happy.
Then out of nowhere she started acting funny. We had plans for her to stay at my place on the Wednesday and she asked to move it to the Thursday for "no reason". Then she cancelled on the Thursday. Then she cancelled our plans to spend Saturday night/Sunday together with no explanation.
For a long list of reasons that I won't go into unless asked, I had suspicions that she'd been on a date on Friday night. Then on Sunday I was looking through Instagram stories when I saw that she'd gone to her (female) friend's house for the day. After seeing that on her story, I viewed her friend's story and found a series of videos that made my blood run cold. It was basically her friend recording a conversation between them and posting a poll in which she said she'd been on a date on Friday night, the guy hadn't text back and she wasn't sure whether she should message him. She described how good looking he was and said he took her breath away, and she said she thought the date had been above average.
After practically digging a trench from pacing back and forth and stressing over how to proceed, I responded to one of the posts on her friend's channel basically saying "thanks for this, really eye opening" and left it at that. I just wanted to make it clear that I'd seen the videos and knew what was going on.
The girl did not take that well. A few hours later she sent me a series of messages having a massive go at me for checking up on her and messaging her friends. She said it was too intense and she was really upset that I'd done it. She also claimed that the videos were just for some roleplay she was doing on her friend's channel.
I admitted that I probably shouldn't have messaged her friend but that she had been acting weird all week and I reacted in the moment due to her actions and what I saw.
That was on Sunday night. On Monday we had a positive conversation on the phone where she said she understands why I reacted the way I did but and she's sorry for how her actions came across, but that I shouldn't have messaged her friend. I agreed and apologised and we basically left it at that. Then after not speaking for a few days, I woke up to a message today saying she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, she feels like I don't trust her, that I think she's a liar, and that I'm watching her all the time and have invaded her privacy. She's blocked me on every platform.
I'm devastated to say the least. I really thought this girl was the one. I won't go into how heartbroken I am about the whole thing, but my question is, based on the above, was I out of line? Would you consider it an invasion of privacy if someone you were seeing watched your friend's Instagram story?
I genuinely don't think I've done something wrong and wouldn't find it weird if she watched my friend's stories, but I'd like to be corrected if the general feeling is that it's unacceptable. A huge part of me thinks that the only reason she's so mad is because I found out something she didn't want me to. Because she got caught out. It would also explain why after months of dating she'd be so willing to cut me out of her life suddenly after one argument. Because she doesn't need me anymore. Am I right or just being paranoid??
Was I in the wrong?
It's a LOOOOOOONG story so I won't go into all details in this first post, but in a nutshell I have been seeing a girl for a few months now. I'm 26 and she is 24 if it matters.
At first things were a bit uncertain between us as she wasn't sure how she felt about getting into a relationship, but as time went on things became more and more positive.
In the last few weeks she has literally been talking about booking a holiday together, been staying at my place multiple nights a week, leaving things like clothing and makeup remover at my place so she can stay over whenever (we've often met up after work for dinner etc... without actually planning to spend the night together, but one thing leads to another...) and she asked to meet my parents the other day which I arranged. Point is, everything was going extremely well and we both seemed happy.
Then out of nowhere she started acting funny. We had plans for her to stay at my place on the Wednesday and she asked to move it to the Thursday for "no reason". Then she cancelled on the Thursday. Then she cancelled our plans to spend Saturday night/Sunday together with no explanation.
For a long list of reasons that I won't go into unless asked, I had suspicions that she'd been on a date on Friday night. Then on Sunday I was looking through Instagram stories when I saw that she'd gone to her (female) friend's house for the day. After seeing that on her story, I viewed her friend's story and found a series of videos that made my blood run cold. It was basically her friend recording a conversation between them and posting a poll in which she said she'd been on a date on Friday night, the guy hadn't text back and she wasn't sure whether she should message him. She described how good looking he was and said he took her breath away, and she said she thought the date had been above average.
After practically digging a trench from pacing back and forth and stressing over how to proceed, I responded to one of the posts on her friend's channel basically saying "thanks for this, really eye opening" and left it at that. I just wanted to make it clear that I'd seen the videos and knew what was going on.
The girl did not take that well. A few hours later she sent me a series of messages having a massive go at me for checking up on her and messaging her friends. She said it was too intense and she was really upset that I'd done it. She also claimed that the videos were just for some roleplay she was doing on her friend's channel.
I admitted that I probably shouldn't have messaged her friend but that she had been acting weird all week and I reacted in the moment due to her actions and what I saw.
That was on Sunday night. On Monday we had a positive conversation on the phone where she said she understands why I reacted the way I did but and she's sorry for how her actions came across, but that I shouldn't have messaged her friend. I agreed and apologised and we basically left it at that. Then after not speaking for a few days, I woke up to a message today saying she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, she feels like I don't trust her, that I think she's a liar, and that I'm watching her all the time and have invaded her privacy. She's blocked me on every platform.
I'm devastated to say the least. I really thought this girl was the one. I won't go into how heartbroken I am about the whole thing, but my question is, based on the above, was I out of line? Would you consider it an invasion of privacy if someone you were seeing watched your friend's Instagram story?
I genuinely don't think I've done something wrong and wouldn't find it weird if she watched my friend's stories, but I'd like to be corrected if the general feeling is that it's unacceptable. A huge part of me thinks that the only reason she's so mad is because I found out something she didn't want me to. Because she got caught out. It would also explain why after months of dating she'd be so willing to cut me out of her life suddenly after one argument. Because she doesn't need me anymore. Am I right or just being paranoid??
Was I in the wrong?
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