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I was with this guy for about 4 years, and it was amazing. We definitely had some issues, with insecurity and intimacy, we kind of burned out in a sense. He finally told me that while he cares about me, he is not "in love" or "having those feelings anymore." And so he broke up with me. It has been about 2 months, and we did the whole NC thing, but recently started talking again. We had this competition and when it ended we started talking again and agreed to meet up over dinner. We met up and had dinner, then went to a field and played soccer and talked about everything. Then we sat down and started talking about deeper things and what had happened. It wound up being really nice to talk to each other and confide in each other and he had mentioned he missed our connection. Unfortunately, I still love him and would love to start over with him as we have such an incredible connection and he really is a great person. He, on the other hand, has changed and is now saying he wants to be alone and when he pictures his future he sees himself alone without any kids, which is a change from 4 years ago when he wanted many kids and loved being in love. He said he can't be with me because he doesn't have those feelings, and while he hooks up with other girls he does it more so to fill a void. He said that he doesn't think there will be another girl out there for him or at least he can't see that right now. The whole time we were crying and holding each other and kissing each other, so it was very emotional. At the end he told me he really wanted to kiss me one last time and did. We are still the most amazing friends, and we acknowledged that we each were the person we wanted to tell things to and be there for each other, and will try to remain that way. That night was bitter sweet as it was amazing to be honest and hold each other, but at the same time I feel even more broken now because I really do feel like he is the greatest love of my life as I have never had this connection or love like this with any other boyfriend. I know most advice would be to just move on and get over it, but I almost want to grow old alone with him. Anyone else experience anything like this or have any advice on how to go forward?
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