she needs to find herself heal and space

[I’m hurting97]

Okay so me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 years but we actually knew eachother and Dated when we were kids at about 10 yrs old and just never heard from eachother again after going to different schools I missed her so much over that time and never thought I would see her again and I ended up seeing her at this event when we were at the end of our junior years of high school we started talking we were 16 at the time and to make a long story short we told eachother we thought about eachother everyday how much we missed eachother and everything so we got back together at the age of 16 ... and... we were absolutely GREAT for about 3.5 years so the last half of our 4 years haven’t been so great and maybe it could be because too much time spent and not enough separation we literally use to get up in the morning see eachother from morning to night basically everyday for the last 2 years but this last one we were always arguing over little things and just haven’t been the same but we didn’t really recognize it because we love eachother so much and always want to be together so lately there’s been a lot of things going on in her life like she got into an accident she’s in college she’s had a rough year with that and her job ... so one day something come up where it was almost time for our 4 year anniversary and I basically just made things bad about talking down on it and she’s like it will be different and I was basically saying it will be boring then she start demanding a break this is my first serious relationship so I don’t know why or where it was coming from because I know we are deeply in love and we spend all the time either talking or txtn or with eachother so I took it personally and was saying all types of bad things like for about 3 days straight and idk i just really hurt her bad with this one so we didn’t talk tor 3 weeks she blocked me on everything but we never got to discuss the break because when I saw her and her mom to talk to them about it it went all bad I really wish I could have did things differently but I diddnt hear from her she was saying it’s just a break she not breaking up with me she never would break up with me she just needs to find herself because this wasn’t right and that’s not her which I feel like I’m not myself either so I spent days and weeks crying and not eating and I needed her to do something for me for one of my jobs and that was the first time talking to her again then I was just asking about stuff I’m deeply in love with her and she’s just like life is too much right now everybody always jumping down her throat and she just needs time to figure things out and become a better person before she can be in a relationship at this Exact point in her life she can’t do it it has become too much she said she just needs to be a better her before she makes any choices and she needs to be in her right mind she also wants me to find myself where I have and she wanted me to change in the past I haven’t ... I took everything as a joke and back to the bad things happening in her life she says what made her feel like this is she feels like I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most like I was there physically but not mentally and it’s true I wish I could have been better really and it eats me up inside that I’ve done this to her I’m not use to not seeing her beautiful face and hearing from her I know she’s not done with me but this is so hard I was close in her family she’s close in mine we talk about having kids in the future and getting married starting a business together we only want eachother and we just was sooo great that this feels like a long ass dream I love her with everything in me more than anything in this world and I feel like I let her down she said for this last year I haven’t been me and she feel like she diddnt know who I was anymore and that I wasn’t the same person from the beginning that hurt to hear that but it’s true I also have a lot of things going on In my life and she’s just one person that knows me best and she knows I never meant to hurt her I’m doing everything I can change to fix myself and become better than ever she still says she love me let me call her baby and all of that we talked on the phone everything feels good talk about old times and I tell her what imma do when we start back seeing eachother make eachother laugh on the phone then when we get off I get lonely I cry I tried txtn her and it makes everything worse because we really do need time and it’s hard for me to give it because I love her so much I think I have separation anxiety I don’t want to feel like shes turning her back on me or us we’ve come a long way and literally don’t want anybody else but eachother I want help on how to become better I wasn’t romantic anymore I wasn’t caring for her situations we lost communication every time she would want to talk I would push her away we lost excitement we don’t go Any places alone anymore do things we use to do I want to learn to fix myself so that this doesn’t happen again I just love her so much I’ve never cried so much in my life like she’s the best thing that ever happened to me I never want to see her hurt and she said it’s not all just me but I’m deeply hurt over me hurting her that I have nightmares and stuff wake up crying and she knows I’m not a emotional person but I feel like I have to get back to my old ways and show her them soft sides of me and actually be a boyfriend again I was just about to propose to her on her birthday mine is coming up we’ll both be 21 but that’ll have to wait we know we want eachother forever we just have to grow our love back stronger and I don’t know how long this will last I just need to not try to communicate with her I love her so much and is all I want never cheated or put my hands on her it’s just the way I talk to her when we argue the way I’ve been acting lately she says I’ve been distant this have been going on for a month so far but only 2 weeks with no contact at all I need to give her more space to heal and fix herself and I need to do the same I really want us back together as soon as possible but I have to let her get her time she’s the one I know it she’s so special that she don’t even know what she means to me I never want to lose her ever !!! I talked to her yesterday I dropped off some stuff I bought her for our 4 year anniversary we diddnt celebrate it or even talk on it that hurt me a lot she said it hurt her a lot too and she hated having to block me on everything my phone number is finally unblocked I just want to move forward and when she’s ready what steps should I take ? And how should I be ? I’m learning to become better and fix all of my faults really she deserves better than I’ve been lately I’ll be cool as long as I can not be emotional crying and everything I miss her so much and can’t wait to show her that I changed and that I love her and that I appreciate her and will be there for her I wasn’t a shoulder she could cry on i just let her cry and say she a cry baby I want to erase all of the bad memories out of her head not that many but this last incident was terrible she says this relationship has great things but the things I said will be hard to get over and I didn’t mean anything really and she said it has taken a bad turn for the worst I just want to have her forever like we talk about and never want to lose her I need help with becoming better for her changing my ways and winning her heart back and allowing her to take this time to better herself and me better myself she wants to find herself I’m upset I let her down and never want either of us to feel bad about the relationship we was so good that people said they diddnt know we even argued like everyone looks up to our relationship and we are only 20 everybody on my side love her and everybody on her side loves me and she said she could never just be done with me forever I just want her forever really and I have to hange let her take her time and just show her I’ve changed and be a billion times better I love her so much and I hate feeling like this I just can’t wait to be better than wv e any help can help thanks

[Bill]

Let's face it, we all make mistakes in life. And unfortunately we don't always appreciate someone special until they're gone.

You treated your girlfriend unkindly and heartlessly so she walked out on you. You acted like a jerk and thus didn't deserve her. But now you realize that you care for her and truly miss her, and you wish you wouldn't have treated her so callously.

Don't despair! There is still a chance that you can get her back. But it will take some work on your part.

The first thing you will need to do to get your girlfriend back is to admit to her that you were a jerk. So if she calls you a jerk, a loser, a womanizer, and various other slimy names, agree with her. You're not going to get her back by arguing with her. Let her have her say. Being contrite and humble will help get her back.

And of course you will need to change. Every person, especially a woman, wants to be treated like they're special. Make her feel important. Make her feel like a queen. Act like and become a gentleman. Don't tell her but show her that you have changed.

Do the little things that are so important in a relationship:

· Open the door for her.
· Be kind and considerate.
· Tell her how lovely she looks.
· Value her ideas and opinions
· Show her you really care about her and her friends.
· Give her a gift, card, or flowers for no special reason.
· Be and act proud when you are with her.
· Respect her feelings and be there for her when she needs comfort.

Because you have been such a jerk, you'll also need to convince her friends and family that you have really changed. If they too can see that you have altered your ways, they will be on your side in your quest to get her back.

And finally, reflect on the future. Will the "new and improved gentleman" you be a permanent thing? If not, then you will soon lose her again, but this time it will be forever!

The choice is yours. You can change for the better and get your ex girlfriend back, or you can continue being a jerk living a lonely and forlorn life.

[Jane]

One such "crashing the life "problem is the break up with the girl you love. If you still love your ex girlfriend then get her back. This will guide you through four ways of getting back with your girlfriend.

1. End the relationship on good terms:

This is a very important thing to do before putting an end to your relationship. It helps to determine the chances of reuniting in future. If you had a break up with mutual consent i.e. on good terms, then it is always easier for you to get back with your ex girlfriend. But if you broke up in bad terms don't worry; you can still get her back. It might be just a little harder.

2. Give her as well as yourself time to heal:

After the break up, it is very important for you to give her time to heal the pain of loss. Don't get desperate. It will lead you no where. I know this is very difficult for you to do after you spent so many days with her and suddenly I am asking you not to contact her. But trust me; both of you need some time alone.

Use the time and make your self busy. Go out with your friends. Do all those entertaining activities which you were longing to do, but could not do because of some reasons.

The more time you will give her, the more she will realize her feelings for you.

The main purpose of asking you to take time is that you realize the mistakes you made, and make changes in your attitude and behavior.

3. Boost up your confidence and act friendly towards her:

When you meet your ex girlfriend again, be very confident. Dress your self neatly, walk and talk with her very confidently. Be very friendly to her, but at the same time maintain a distance. Try to be cool and give her space. Do not ignore her completely.

4. Show her that you have changed:

Show her the changes that you made in yourself when you were separated. Show her the same attitude for which she fell in love with you.

Believe it or not I was once in the same situation as you. I lost my girlfriend which I deeply loved. I tried many common tips and methods on getting her back but they all failed. After weeks of trying I was fortunate enough to find a great, working method which helped me to finally get her back. We have been together since then and our relationship is stronger than ever before.