Need to get the love of my life back

[LoveCrazedGuy]

I'm new to all of this, but I need others input.
I'm 15, but I've always been more mature for my age, I was forced to grow up early because of a horrible childhood. I was dating a girl who's 17, and I know for a fact that I'm in love with her, so much that it hurts, please refrain from giving me advice based on my age, it's an irrelevant subject. Last Tuesday was the last time I saw her, I have horrible anger issues and we fight a lot, we have for maybe 3/4 of our relationship. We were fine Tuesday but we had an argument Thursday morning, I kept texting her all day apologising because she didn't come home from work and I was so worried, it turns out she was fine and just ignoring me, this lead to me flipping out and her ending things and telling me I've made her miserable for months and she's fallen out of love with me.
She told me to be a man and deal with the breakup and not beg for forgiveness so I didn't. She said she needed space so I left her alone for a few days. Yesterday I realised I was still logged into her Instagram account because I got a notification of a conversation between her and her old friend, when she asked how she was she said, "thank you for messaging me. Honestly never felt better", they both talked shit about me for awhile and I couldn't keep reading.

I messaged her yesterday asking why she never told me how horrible I made her feel and she said "I didn't want to make you feel bad", i said "you still love me don't you?" Her response was that she said she didn't want to talk to me and she'll message me when she's ready.

There's a few things about our breakup that give me hope I can fix things, quite frankly my mental health can't take losing her, I'll end up doing something stupid, I knew that before but I was only thinking about me, this time I'm thinking about her and I want to make her happy too.

How do I fix things? Do I give her space? Do I make a gesture?
-T

[Julia]

The good news is that just because your girlfriend said she needs space, it doesn't mean your relationship is in trouble. If the two of you are having problems, then the fact that your girlfriend needs to think about things is good. That means she isn't jumping straight into breaking up with you. Taking time away from the situation will hopefully give her enough distance from your problems to figure out how to solve them without breaking up. Plus if you give her space now, she will realize how much she will miss having you in her life and be more willing to work through your issues.

If the two of you aren't having problems, then if your girlfriend needs space it could be because of something else. She might be having problems at work, or at school, or with one of her friends or family members. If she is stressed out, giving her space will let her work through her issues without taking out her problems on you.

What should you do if your girlfriend said she needs space? The best thing you can do right now is give her what she wants. Let her have time to herself. If you've ever needed time alone, you know what she is going through. You also know that it can be really annoying to want to spend time by yourself and have someone not respect your wishes. So don't freak out that she wants space, just give it to her and see what happens. If you bother her right now, it might push her buttons and cause her to break up with you even if she wasn't thinking about breaking up before.

How long should you leave her alone? You could send her a text or call her every few days. You want to make sure you are there for her, but don't pressure her to talk to you. If she doesn't answer, just leave her a voice mail and tell her that you were thinking about her but you don't need her to call you back unless she wants to talk. Be understanding now, and let her know you are there, but ultimately, let her come to you.

[John]

If you want to learn how to get your ex girlfriend back, but you treated her badly, then you may find it hard making up with her. This may sound like bad news to you, but you should never have hurt her in the first place. You need to acknowledge that you did some nasty things to her, but also figure out how you will make it up to her. If you can find a realistic solution, then you may have a chance to get her back.

If you hurt her, then here are 8 steps for how to get your ex girlfriend back:

1) View women differently.

No man that sees women as mere objects deserves their love and admiration. If you want to get your ex girlfriend back, you need to value and respect her as much as you would your mother or father. She will never love you if you treat her like trash.

2) Be her knight in shining armor.

Women love it when men treat them like princesses and absolute gentlemen. If you are willing to do this, you should not have a problem figuring out how to get your ex girlfriend back. Just be down-to-earth about it, as if it is something you always do. Nothing shouts "fake" more than when you put on a big show to impress her. If she does not see your over-the-top attempts at chivalry, her friends certainly will, and you would have been found out. So keep it subtle.

3) Modesty is key.

This will help you out tremendously for getting your ex girlfriend back.

4) Admit your faults at treating her badly.

If she tells you that you treated her badly, then simply own up to it. Even if she said it during an emotional outburst, it still means that she feels she was treated badly. Just remember that her feelings are more important when figuring out how to get your ex girlfriend back. You are promoting your strengths to her, and trying to get her to buy into it. The person doing the buying is never wrong.

5) Discover what she really needs.

You need to discover what she really needs from you - does she want to be left alone, or does she want you to come and grovel at her feet? Just do what she wants, no matter how difficult it may be for you. If she does not want to tell you, then ask her friends. If she can see how much effort you are putting into pleasing her, you will be one step closer to get your ex girlfriend back.

6) Get her friends on your side.

You should actually do this before trying to win back her affection. Her friends may find your attempts "suspicious" at first, but if you seem sincere about it, and are able to get their approval, you will be only a few steps away from getting your ex girlfriend back.

But if you try get her back, without winning over her friends first, it will be harder for her to trust you. You see, even if you do win her over, her friends will remind her how much of a jerk you were and put her off again. So always get her friends' approval first.

7) Use gestures to show her how you have changed.

There's no point telling your ex girlfriend over and over how much you have changed, if your actions say otherwise. Remember, actions speak louder than words, so prove your worth to her through gestures of kindness.

8) Will your changed behavior be sustainable?

Before going through all these positive changes to impress her, you need to understand whether these changes are permanent? If they are not, then even if you do her back, she will dump you the minute you fall back into your old habits. So before learning how to get your ex girlfriend back, see whether it is worth it.